The Prospect of Weird
by TheSuburbanSprite
Summary: 'It's a great crescendo of a realisation until you reach the zenith of self-awareness and begin to understand that perhaps, your baggage is not so dissimilar from the rest of the world's...' Sasuke is still coming to terms with his chronic condition and his decimated family. A dark and unhealthy path lays ahead of Sasuke...Sequel to: The History of Normal. Narusasu. AU Modern.
1. Chapter 1: Fairy Lights

Hello!

 **BIG SHOUTY MUST READ: This is a sequel to another story that I've written! So, for this to make more sense or for it to be more enjoyable it might be a good idea to read the story that came before it: 'The History of Normal,' that's the first part!**

(That is not me vehemently plugging another of my stories honestly *getting super narcissistic* it just will read a whole lot better with the first story in toe!)

If you already have then, woo! First chapter of the sequel! I had soooo many amazingly lovely reviews from you majestic treasures that I just really wanted to write a sequel!

So I hope you enjoy chaps and chapettes, and that this story will resolve any questions still left open from The History of Normal! :)

Much love!

* * *

Chapter One.

Fairy Lights. 

There comes a point in everybody's life, when they come to the realisation that they aren't singularly unique. It's a great crescendo of a realisation until you reach the zenith of self-awareness and begin to understand that perhaps, your baggage is not so dissimilar from the rest of the world's.

For a time, this insight comes as a sort of comfort. However, not every obstacle is relatable or resolvable.

Sasuke Uchiha had left his home town, just west of Knebworth, two years ago to attend Kirigakure University in Bournemouth. With him, he'd bought a whole horde of messes and hang-ups. In the two years he'd been gone, he hadn't been in contact with his parents and they in turn had made no effort to contact him. It was his guess that they felt he had picked his side, and that side was Itachi's. Sasuke's epilepsy was still out of control, despite the new cocktail of drugs the neurologists kept introducing. There was every one of his friends' failings and struggles inscribed on him.

Sasuke had not come to university alone however…

The alarm on his iPhone began to trill beside him and he jerked awake. He lay blinking for a moment, trying to ground himself; he was hot in his wrinkled bedsheets with somebody else's balmy limbs were weighing him down. Sasuke combed his fingertips over the body softened sheets until he found his bedside cabinet and then his phone, which he switched to silent. He turned his face into his pillow and inhaled its married perfume: Naruto's rose and patchouli mixed with his amber and violets. It was with regret that he began to push himself upright.

"Don't," Naruto's hand snatched out from beneath the periwinkle blue sheets and he closed his fingers around Sasuke's wrist. Sasuke admired Naruto's honey coloured and calloused fingers ringed around his own thin, bone-china wrist. "Your lecture doesn't start until nine," Naruto pointed out groggily.

Sasuke pursed his lips and shook Naruto off him.

"Yeah, well, I don't wanna turn into a plebeian beast like you," Sasuke sighed waspishly, sitting up and rolling off the edge of the bed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto inquired, peering at Sasuke with one bleary, dragonfly-blue eye.

"When they say a lecture starts at nine, Naruto, that doesn't mean nine is the suggested time; it means turn up twenty minutes early, not one hour and twenty minutes late." Sasuke snorted, pulling on clean clothes from the chest of drawers.

"I'm an artist, you Psychology swats wouldn't understand," Naruto waved a hand dramatically as he rolled onto his back with a yawn.

"I thought you were an animator, but all this crap would beg to differ," Sasuke said as he kicked a bottle of Part A Dragon Skin Silicone out of the way.

"Stop messing all my shit up Sasuke, no wonder I'm always late – I can never find anything; I've been looking for the hardening solution for that for months!" Naruto barked and Sasuke narrowed his eyes throwing his boyfriend and incredibly sour look.

"I'll give you a hardening solution," he muttered and when Naruto gave a throaty chuckle at Sasuke's inadvertent innuendo, Sasuke rolled his eyes and stalked from the bedroom.

He picked his way through his shared house. If he'd thought halls of residence had been bad, then renting a property with three other students had been a real eye opener. Sasuke could draw up as many chore rotas as he liked, make them as big and flashy as he liked, he could probably even staple them to one of his roommate's heads and there would still be a sink-full of dishes coated in grime, carpets with tumbleweeds made of hair and dust, and rancid pizza boxes maturing self-sustaining universes all of their own.

As per usual, his second housemate Suigetsu Hozuki, lay passed out on their second-hand, plum velvet, bridgewater sofa. Sasuke hadn't heard Suigestsu come home last night, and as Sasuke hadn't put away his laptop until four in the morning, he could only assume Suigetsu hadn't crawled back into the house until a few hours ago. Sasuke pursed his lips as he gazed down at the slumped student, he could smell the rum even from his considerable distance, it was shocking. For a Marine Biology student, Suigetsu's comprehension of the appropriate volumes of consumable fluids was appalling.

Sasuke had been like Suigetsu once, had lived on a diet of undiluted spirits, candied shisha smoke, and painkillers. However, a stretch on the drug MXE which had resulted in a catastrophic trip, culminating in a full-blown tonic clonic seizure; had taught him the need to take responsibility for himself and his condition, no matter how much of an onerous burden it felt to do so.

In an act of reluctant kindness, Sasuke chucked a blanket over Suigetsu before making his way to the tiny kitchen.

"Morning," Sasuke nearly fell out of his skin, so surprised to find Jugo stood by the small window overlooking their postage stamp of a garden, comprised entirely of concrete slabs.

"You're awake then," Sasuke observed, making his way to the fridge.

Jugo went through fluctuations. Some months, Sasuke would have to stand in the boy's doorway, launching the texts of _Ivan Pavlov_ and _Erik Erikson_ at his ginger head until the gangly giant tumbled out of his bed. Other months, Jugo was up and about so early, Sasuke wasn't wholly sure he'd even gone to bed.

"Ready for today?" Jugo asked, watching as Sasuke pulled himself up onto the travertine countertop, uncapping his Weetabix breakfast drink. He withdrew three strips of medication from behind the kettle, and decanted one from each into his palm. One hundred milligrams of lamictal, one thousand milligrams of ethosuximide and fifty milligrams of sertraline. Three pills all to keep Sasuke's neuron's and neurological transmitters operating. Two to stop him seizing, one to stop him from breaking down. One gram and one hundred and fifty milligrams of contrived remedies pumped all through his bloodstream, and then his busted brain might last the day.

It took Sasuke a moment to process Jugo's words, and then they fell into place. Today was no ordinary day – today was dissertation proposal day. That was why Sasuke had been awake until four in the morning every day for the past month. Discarding his half-drunk Weetabix, he dropped off the countertop and sprinted back through to his and Naruto's bedroom. They had the bottommost backroom in the three-bedroom maisonette. This set up had its positives and negatives, they were closest to the kitchen. However, the maisonette had been built on the turn of the last century, and therefore had no central heating, so the downstairs was particularly draughty given the amount of doors.

When he arrived in the bedroom, he found that Naruto had made no move to get out of bed; he had instead rolled into the space Sasuke had just evacuated.

"If you wait, I'll drive you to uni," Naruto offered as Sasuke dove down the side of the bed to wrestle his laptop's power-pack free of the plug socket.

"No thank you," Sasuke retorted stiffly, shoving his laptop into its bag.

"Suit yourself," Naruto grunted, rolling his eyes and ringing out his wrists with a repulsive cracking sound, inspiring a noise of dissent from Sasuke.

"It's my proposal today," Sasuke reminded Naruto who elevated himself on his elbows.

"I didn't forget," He promised and Sasuke snorted.

"I don't care if you did, just don't forget your own, it's next week, the day before we go home," Sasuke's eyes lingered on Naruto's face as he scrubbed his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto muttered.

Sasuke didn't take his eyes from Naruto's handsome face; rent at that moment with weary irritation. Naruto wasn't lazy, he was just indecisive and that was what worried Sasuke. Maybe it had been okay to push projects right up until the deadline in their first year, maybe even their second year, but their third year was entirely different.

"Well, I'll see you later then," Sasuke said, heaving his messenger bag onto his shoulder as he turned to leave.

However, Naruto caught hold of his wrist and pulled him back down. Sasuke scrabbled for a vantage, only just catching the corner of the mattress before he fell flat. Naruto fanned his fingers over Sasuke's solar plexus softly and smiled. Inclining himself forwards, he brushed his own mouth against Sasuke's, who felt every muscle in Naruto's chest stirring against his body.

"Good luck," Naruto grinned, pulling back mere centimetres so that his breath tickled Sasuke's cheeks and picked up strands of his tangled hair. "Call me when you're done."

"Yeah, yeah," Sasuke muttered, pushing away from Naruto quickly to hide the flush creeping over his cheeks and the bridge of his nose.

* * *

"I'm ready, but I'm not ready, you know?" Jugo was saying as they walked through town central.

Everything was bedecked with tinsel and winking fairy-lights in preparation for Christmas.

"Sort of," Sasuke replied vaguely, eyeing a display of stuffed penguins in a garden centre window.

Soon, he and Naruto would be travelling back home for Christmas, to be reunited with all their friends and family; or what little of it Sasuke had. Sasuke had spent the past fortnight liaising with a thrilled Temari, her return to the U.K for Christmas, having spent the past two years re-locating to different army bases abroad with her husband Shikamaru Nara; it would be her first Christmas back. Her brother Kankuro would also be returning from Aurillac in France to see his sister. Coupled with Lee, Sakura, Shino, and Choji all coming back for the Christmas holidays as well, and that Sai, Ino, and Kiba had never left; everybody really was going to be back together again.

 _Sasuke just had to get past this proposal._

"Kimimaro is already on my case about getting tickets for graduation," Jugo sighed, watching a blackbird skitter across a frozen puddle. Kimimaro: Jugo's foster father. "I keep telling him, I haven't even handed in the work to know if I've passed so that I can graduate yet," he rolled his eyes and looked at Sasuke who smiled. "What about your parents, are they coming?" Sasuke stopped in his tracks momentarily. He knew so much about Jugo's life, the boy had entrusted him with so much in the two years they'd been friends, and yet Jugo knew nothing about Sasuke.

"Maybe," Sasuke shrugged.

The truth was, he wasn't sure that his parents even knew he was at university, least of all which university or what kind of degree he was studying. Maybe he should invite them to his graduation though, extend them that opportunity? Give them that chance? Maybe…Possibly…

"I've never met your folks," Jugo noted as they paused at a zebra crossing, "I've met your brother a few times and his Mrs…"

"Iz and Itachi aren't married," Sasuke said quickly, not sure why he was in such a hurry to correct Jugo, "and yeah, my parents are, yeah…" Sasuke focused his attention on a Bluestar bus, the side of which was plastered with a promo for some banal Christmas comedy. He didn't want to talk about his debacle of a family when he already felt so nervous about giving his proposal to their tutor.

* * *

Sasuke's dissertation got the go ahead from his professor Asuma Sarutobi, almost immediately. The next few months of his life would be devoted to _identifying the behavioural differences between young and adult offenders and the extent to which they could be rehabilitated._ Once upon a time, Sasuke was sure he had enjoyed his degree, but the mind-numbing monotony of data collection and surveying had long since quashed that enjoyment.

Sasuke contemplated what he'd gotten himself into as he watched the contents of a sachet of brown sugar, sink beneath the castle of foam floating atop his cappuccino. He understood now, why students inhabited cafes like sunken eyed, pot noodle scavenging, goblins: the cafes were warming than their actual homes. Kamui's café was just short of Hyde Place, the street with all the clubs, pubs, restaurants, and cheap off-licences.

"Hi," Sasuke picked up his phone on the fourth ring.

"Jesus, there you are, I've been calling and calling you!" Naruto seethed, an undercurrent of distress lancing his voice.

"Yeah, sorry, I've been walking," Sasuke murmured, picking up a wooden coffee-stirrer and twirling it between his fingers.

"So?"

" _So_ what? The answers to that question are infinite, Naruto," Sasuke sighed.

"Don't be an arse," Naruto replied witheringly and Sasuke heard the distinctively wet squelching of sculpting clay.

"Up and model making then? It's only, what, two in the afternoon, pretty much the crack of dawn for you," Sasuke smirked.

"Yeah, well I've had mum on the poxy phone for two hours, haven't I? _'Have you filled your iron up with enough water?' 'Have you tried this new marmalade?' 'How's the cat?'_ She's a nightmare!" Naruto sounded extraordinarily distressed.

"Well, for starters, I fill up the iron. Secondly, the last time you even came close to licking an orange was probably at the bottom of a fishbowl of Pimms. Finally, that cat's never been fine, it's too late for that beast." Naruto was already spluttering with derisive laughter by the time Sasuke finished speaking. "How is Kushina anyway?" And there was a tight feeling in Sasuke's chest as he asked about Naruto's mother.

"Yeah, same old, same old, obnoxiously loud and bossy," Naruto told him distractedly, seemingly not noticing the change in Sasuke's tone. "So anyway, tell me about your proposal," Naruto's tone brightened.

"Yeah it was good, I got the go ahead," Sasuke nodded, probing at the small mountain of sugar still adrift on top of his cappuccino with his stirrer.

" _'Good,'_ that's high praise from you, Sasuke," Naruto whistled, "there must've been confetti and everything, I'm impressed. Sincerely I'm very proud of you though," he added earnestly.

"Thanks," Sasuke chuckled, crossing his legs beneath the table and ducking his head so as not to be overheard.

"So where'd you wanna meet to go celebrate?"

"Nope," Sasuke refused predictably.

"Oh come on, don't be such a wet wipe. You've basically morphed into a part man part laptop cyborg over the past couple of months, just give yourself one night to celebrate," Naruto implored and Sasuke pursed his lips, trying not to grin.

"You should be working on your portfolio for your proposal," Sasuke reminded and Naruto made a snorting sound.

"Fuck that, so Genbu's?" Naruto asked coaxingly and Sasuke paused for a long time.

"Fine, I'll walk over in a sec, I'm only in Kamui's down the Hexagon so I'll be ten minutes; I've got to make a call first." Sasuke conceded and held the phone from his ear as Naruto cheered. "Don't bring any of you knob animation friends." Sasuke warned before he hung up the phone.

Naruto always got under his skin and managed to dominate him. It was that relentless alacrity and that predisposition to support and encourage; he was like a hit of lysergic acid that robbed Sasuke of all his own comprehensive thought.

Shaking his head witheringly, Sasuke used the café's wifi to Facetime the next contact he wished to speak to.

"Sasuke!" Izumi answered as per usual shockingly quickly. Sasuke thought it either came from being a business woman who carried her phone about her at all times, or just being Izumi, who liked to know the whereabouts of her loved ones at every moment of every day.

"Hey Iz…" Sasuke said slowly, noticing how dishevelled she looked, "are you sat in the dark?" he peered behind her.

"Oh, no, well yes, but…" She was on her feet offering some rambling and muffled explanation. "How are you, anyway?" She asked, switching the lights on. When Izumi was thrown into relief, Sasuke saw that her face looked blotchy, rather like he'd just caught her crying.

"I…"

"How did your proposal go?" Whatever it was, she didn't want to talk about it, that much was clear.

"Yeah, I got the go ahead," he nodded. "I actually need to ask Itachi something, is he there?" At the very mention of Itachi's name, Izumi's face tightened, the strain in every line of her young face making her appear much older.

"No, he's not home at the moment," she told him calmly.

"Oh for fucks sake, is he ever home? I mean, _seriously!_ " Sasuke said snippily, "I've texted him like ten times just this week and not once has he replied! He's the boss of his own bloody company, I know he works remotely on Tuesday's because he gave himself that day!" Sasuke ranted hotly and Izumi looked uncomfortable. "And how much time from the boss does celery really warrant anyway? It's not like it's a flight risk, it's a _vegetable…"_

"Sasuke, your brother's just incredibly busy," Izumi interrupted wearily.

 _Yeah, and you're the idiot for defending him._ Sasuke thought privately. He could tell that Izumi was hiding something from him just by looking at her, the futile attempts to explain away his brother's constant absence only made things look worse. Sasuke knew that something untoward was going on with his brother, he was just too far away here at Kirigakure University to figure it out.

"Yeah, well, next time you see him, try telling him I've had an enormous seizure and fallen down a well, or in a pond, and that I'm desperately wounded, maybe then he'll remember he took wardship of me," Sasuke grumbled. "Anyway," he carried on before Izumi could accuse him of being unfair. "You can probably answer my question."

"Oh, what's that then?" Izumi furrowed her neat brows.

Sasuke took a deep breath, clenching his fists so tightly that the coffee stirrer splintered between his fingers.

"I want my mum and dad's address…"

* * *

Ooooh, what an enigmatic and cheeky cliffhanger to end the first chapter on! I hope all you hunnies enjoyed! :D please review! They literally make my little day when I receive them!


	2. Chapter 2: Splinter

Hello!

So, here's chapter 2 chaps!

very speedy update!

thank you for all your messages on this and the prequel you eloquent pixies you! I love you!

enjoy x

* * *

Chapter 2.

Splinter.

Sasuke sat penning what felt like his millionth note on Millgram's experiment. He was beginning to realise just how depressing an insight psychology was giving him into the human race. They really were all rats following their own faceless pied piper, be it their parent's, their bosses, or the government. No man or woman was their own champion. Sasuke certainly wasn't, for as long as he could remember he had always been labouring under the subordination of some authority figure: his parents, his brother, even his dissertation had a dominating grasp on him.

"Hey," Naruto blew through the front door, letting in a gust of chilly December wind that scattered Sasuke's papers.

"Hn," Sasuke responded irritably as he lunged to catch his work.

"Yo." Sasuke fought not to roll his eyes, Naruto had brought home Konohamaru, one of his insufferable animation friends.

"Working hard or hardly working?" Naruto grinned as he bent over Sasuke, who only cast him an incredibly sour look.

"Working hard," Sasuke told him firmly and then with a quick glance in Konohamaru's direction he said slowly, "which you should be doing to; you've got three days to get your proposal ready." He reminded.

"Stop going on at me, Sasuke," Naruto rolled his eyes and straightened up.

Sasuke blanched and flattened himself back into the sofa cushions slightly; was that what Naruto thought Sasuke was doing, henpecking him?

"I'm not, don't come crying to me when you fuck up," Sasuke muttered, picking up his biro and leaning back towards his work.

"You're incredibly precious today," Naruto observed and Sasuke scowled, his temper rising.

"I'm incredibly busy today!" Naruto was as bad as his brother in many respects; he could doss around as much as he liked, and always pull through, winging it on natural talent. Sasuke saw Konohamaru averting his attention awkwardly, looking at anything accept them: the blank television, the incense burner piled high with ash, Kurama chewing shoelaces…

"Okay," Naruto held his hands up in surrender, obviously scenting danger. "I'm sorry, yeah, I can see you're working hard." He smiled apologetically, but Sasuke was still feeling bitter. "Actually, I am doing something impressively work-related tomorrow," he punched Sasuke's shoulder lightly, jogging his pen across the page.

"Hmm?"

"I'm going to London."

"What!?" Sasuke dropped his pen with a clatter and rounded on Naruto. "You're kidding, right?" He gaped at Naruto, whose cornflower eyes sparkled with wide innocence.

"No, why what's wrong with that?" He asked as Sasuke stared at him, aghast. "I'm going to the Natural History Museum for primary research; I thought you could come with me and see London all done up for Christmas. Y'know, Winter Wonderland, Covent Garden lights, the Trafalgar Square tree, and all that…" he waggled his hands in a set of enthusiastic jazz hands. Sasuke on shook his head in disbelief.

"I can't even believe you sometimes; you do realise in three days you have to present your FMP to your tutor? You haven't actually gone into denial about that have you – because, I kind of feel like you have." Sasuke ranted.

"I'll take that as a no, you don't want to come, then," Naruto said, looking annoyed.

"Take it as a no I don't want to come, and a piece of helpful life advice," Sasuke suggested, getting to his feet and making to stalk to their bedroom.

"Wow, thanks, sage advice from a guy who doesn't sleep or eat," Naruto snapped back.

Sasuke didn't want to fight with Naruto, but it seemed the more you hurt inside, the more you pushed that hurt onto the ones you loved the most. It was involuntary and cruel, but the closer a person was, the more pain they had to bear.

* * *

Naruto and Sasuke didn't speak again that night, and the next morning Naruto did go to London without a word to Sasuke. To Sasuke's utter revulsion, Naruto took Konohamaru, and perhaps Sasuke's chagrin was exactly why Naruto took the boy.

Sasuke was in such a foul mood, that he couldn't even concentrate on revision and part of him thought he might as well have gone with Naruto to London. The other half of him however, the stubborn part, reminded himself that Naruto was being an absolute idiot, and even if Sasuke wasn't revising, the thought was still there.

He was incredibly relieved therefore, when a distraction came in the form of a Facetime call.

"Oh, look who it is, come slithering back," Sasuke greeted his brother, who looked rather frantic.

"Izumi said you'd had a seizure," his eyes roved over Sasuke suspiciously.

"Yeah well, Iz is a good little fibber," Sasuke smirked, kicking his legs over the arm of the sofa. He eyed his brother; Itachi's hair looked unctuous and had come free from its confines, he looked as drawn as Izumi had when Sasuke had spoken to her, and his eyes were flat lumps of coal – rather like a snowman – pressed into his sallow skin. "Not to be rude or anything bro, but you look like utter shite." Sasuke observed honestly and Itachi's brows drew together in the centre.

"Back at you; brush your hair or something, Sasuke," Itachi bossed wearily.

"What's going on with you and Iz then?" Sasuke probed, "Did she have your revolting crow stuffed, because honestly Itachi, it's a miracle that she's put up with it for this long and…"

"Nothing, Sasuke, _nothing_ is going on with Izumi and I," Itachi said in a tone that silenced Sasuke. Something about Itachi's voice was so grave, and threatened at a situation so severe, Sasuke's insides felt icy. "Anyway, Izumi said you were ferreting about after mum and dad's address?" Itachi eyed him beadily and Sasuke pursed his lips. _Izumi, that traitor._

"Yup," Sasuke confirmed, not seeing the point in lying.

"Why?" Itachi pressed, looking miffed, the tear troughs rabbeted into his face darkening.

"So I could make a collage of all the various people in my life that have mercilessly abandoned me…Why do you think Itachi?" Sasuke snapped caustically.

"So you're trying to get in touch with them?" Itachi asked in a clipped tone.

"Well, yes, I just thought that when my graduation comes around, you know, they might want…"

"They haven't shown any interest in your studies though, Sasuke," Itachi pointed out irritably, "they wouldn't even make the three hour trip to see you last year." Itachi rambled and Sasuke frowned.

"How would they even know it's a three hour trip if they don't know where I am? _Unless_ …" Sasuke narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Have mum and dad been in touch, Itachi?" Sasuke asked slowly.

Itachi pressed his mouth into a hard, grim, line, and his eyes tapered.

"Sasuke, mum and dad are…"

" _They have been_! Fuck, Itachi, what is with this power hype you're on!?" Sasuke seethed. "I'm twenty-years-old! If I wanna see our parents then that's my fucking choice, not yours!" He shouted. "It isn't your place to hide me away from the world, you don't own me!"

"I'm your guardian."

"I'm twenty! And you haven't picked up the phone in weeks! I've been speaking to Izumi, some fucking guardian you are!" Sasuke argued vehemently.

"Stop being such a child Sasuke. The truth is, you're going to run off, find mum and dad, it'll all go wrong and everybody else will have to pick up the pieces because you're just a selfish child Sasuke, you've never grown up, mum fed your precious little ego and now you're a twenty-year-old baby who has everybody else cleaning up his messes." Itachi snapped and Sasuke inhaled sharply.

"Oh bore off Itachi, you absolute cock," Sasuke barked and hung-up the phone.

Steaming with rage, Sasuke launched his phone towards the end of the sofa – missed, and saw a crack appear in the screen. If it wasn't bad enough falling out with his boyfriend and brother, now he had actually fallen out with his phone, a piece of inanimate technology.

Sasuke got to his feet and stormed to the kitchen; he didn't need anything, he simply needed to shake the burst of energy he was suddenly wracked with.

Itachi was being ridiculous, Sasuke was not a selfish child. Where had his mother been to pamper and assuage him when Sasuke had been drowning in the highs and lows of MXE? When he had walked through painite castles and bioluminescent seas? Where had they been to smother and coddle him then? How had they cleaned up his mess, whilst he'd laid convulsing on the floor, in a tide of his own bloody spit? These weren't messes you could just pick up?

 _"Ouch!"_ Sasuke was dragged from his bile fuelled festering, when he brushed past one of Naruto's half-finished sculptures. A piece of the copper wiring, acting as a frame to hold all of the clay up, had broken off and buried itself in Sasuke's forearm. The momentary stab of pain completely distracted Sasuke from his venomous ruminating. He lifted his fingers and began to pick and work at the small metal splinter, it hurt, the pain wasn't agonising, but it was enough to make Sasuke screw his face up. Focusing on the pain of the splinter cleared his mind of all the poisonous thoughts, as the target of concentration became the physical sensation in his body.

By the time he was finished, and he had loosened the splinter completely, his brain was in order once more, and all because he'd had that little focal point. He disposed of the splinter and ran the bloody fissure in his arm under the tap, not shying away from the sting the collision of cold water on damaged nerve tissue made.

Should he feel bad? He thought. No, what had happened had been an accident…

* * *

"Alright, guys," Jugo answered the door later that night to Sasori and Deidara, both of whom had turned up unannounced. "Wassup?" Sasuke craned his neck at the note of concern in Jugo's voice. Deidara looked pale and ready to drop down in a crumpled heap.

"What's happened?" Sasuke asked, rising to his feet as the three boys emerged into the small living room.

"Deidara's landlord's suing him," Sasori explained after a while, when Deidara proved himself unable to form cohesive speech.

"Huh?" Jugo and Sasuke swapped looks of bafflement.

"His landlord, he's suing him for a breach of his lease," Sasori explained with a miserable shrug.

"What did you do?" Sasuke asked wide-eyed, as Deidara flopped down onto the sofa with a hopeless moan.

"Remember that black mould in my bedroom and the bathroom? And the dodgy lock on the back door? I painted over the mould and replaced the lock," he explained sounding desolate. "My lease says I'm not allowed to make permeant amendments to the property." He shook his head and covered his face. "I'm fucked."

"But you've done him a favour!" Jugo pointed out sounding incredulous.

"Yeah he has – by breaking his lease and making a big juicy cheque out of himself," Sasori countered, folding his arms over his chest.

"I literally cannot afford this; I'm going to have to dropout. I'm already skint from all the art supplies, but fuck, a law suit, my parents are going to choke me." He moaned and bent in half, pressing his face into his knees. "Either that or I'm just going to have to give him every penny of my student loan and end up homeless."

Nobody said anything, they couldn't think of an argument.

"Don't be stupid," Sasuke finally sighed, "you won't end up homeless, you can always top to tail with Jugo here." He pointed out.

"Yeah; come on, let's go down Hyde Place, cheer you up a bit." Jugo enticed, grinning at Deidara bracingly. Deidara looked wary, but as Sasori and Jugo batted him on the shoulders and chanted 'Hyde Place,' a smile spread over his lips.

"Fine."

Sasuke glanced back at his revision still spread over the table. He really shouldn't go, given all of his preaching and snide comments to Naruto; it would be the very height of hypocrisy. However, looking at a dejected Deidara brighten so much at the offer of one single night out…It felt almost cruel to deny him.

"I'll just go get changed," Sasuke told them.

At three in the morning, Sasuke and Jugo balanced along one of the three truss bridges that paved their way home. They were inordinately drunk, having used the trickery of fire balls and snakebites to inspire cheerful ignorance in Deidara; who they'd put in a taxi with Sasori. Jugo and Sasuke had stopped drinking just short of oblivion and Sasuke felt like he might never stop smiling, that his lips might unravel and stretch off his face.

However, when he fell through his front door, everything changed…

Naruto sat on the back of their sofa, waiting in the light of the television. His expression was absolutely thunderous as he took in Sasuke.

A fight was brewing…

* * *

I hope you enjoyed huns! Please review lovelies! :)


	3. Chapter 3: Copper Thistle

Helloo!

So, a super duper speedy update today!

As my last chapter had such a ranty rant at the top, I thought I'd just dispel all that negativity with another chapter this evening!

Again, thank you for all your support throughout this story, the Prequel (The History of Normal) and this the sequel. I literally LOVE reading your reviews, you're all divine magical beings and I love you!

Please enjoy!

 **Side note: basically, my story isn't showing up as updated *eye roll* so, rest assured every day I do update it! Just for some reason it doesn't say so *big time sigh***

* * *

Chapter 3.

Thistles.

A perilous vortex was swelling between Naruto and Sasuke. It was as though Sasuke could physically see the disaster stretching between them, like some vile proteinaceous silk extending from their chests and connecting them by anger.

"So," Naruto began, his voice shaking as he rose to his feet. "I have to put in a month's standing order just to get you to go for one drink with me, but when it comes to your little brigade of dickhead mates, it's a different story!" Naruto's eyes flashed and Sasuke shook his head quickly. The world around him had become capricious, reminding him that he was still drunk.

"That's not it," he muttered, throwing out an arm to steady himself on the window frame.

"Double fucking standards, that's what it is, Sasuke!" Naruto spat hatefully and Sasuke flinched, rubbing his temple in an effort to clear his mind enough to focus on the conversation.

"No, you don't understand," Sasuke tried to argue, his fingers finding the heavy jacquard curtains and using them to haul himself into a more upright position, he faced Naruto. "Deidara was upset." He said, realising how lame it sounded, the second the words left his mouth.

"Oh, well, that's okay then!" Naruto exploded sardonically, "why didn't you just say _Deidara_ was upset?" Naruto's tone was biting as he fixed Sasuke with livid eyes. "Because every time I'm stressed or upset it's: 'I told you so,' or 'you should've started earlier,' but when Deidara's upset…"

"Oh, don't be so over dramatic," Sasuke snapped, "all of _your_ problems you bring on yourself, that's why I don't pity you," he spat, not regretting his words in the least. "You're a martyr!" Sasuke accused furiously and he saw Naruto's eyes spark with a rage he'd never seen before.

"What a bold observation coming from a little rich boy…" Sasuke couldn't stop himself rolling his eyes at this, which he knew would only serve to rile Naruto further. And the class argument reared its ugly head once more.

Just as Sasuke opened his mouth to retort to Naruto's name calling, his stomach clenched and he clamped his teeth together quickly.

"I don't feel well," he explained, with as minimal movement of his jaw as he could muster.

"Ugh, don't start playing the epilepsy card, Sasuke," Naruto fumed.

Both of them stopped dead, absolutely stunned; it seemed even Naruto hadn't anticipated the words to fall out of his mouth.

 _"The what?"_ Sasuke asked hoarsely, so shocked that he'd temporarily forgotten to feel sick.

"I didn't mean…" Naruto began looking appalled. "Sasuke, I didn't mean…"

However, Sasuke had already begun to push past Naruto, a dismissive hand held up between them. He didn't want to hear Naruto's justifications and apologies, because then he'd have to make the choice whether to accept or reject them. He pummelled up the narrow staircase and made a dive for the bathroom. Collapsing onto his hands and knees, Sasuke threw his head over the toilet just in time, disgorging a torrent of vomit into the bowl below. As he heaved, he groped for a hold on something, anything that would support his quaking frame. His insides twisted and ached with every convulsion and the strain on his throat left his oesophagus burning.

"Sasuke?" Sasuke was dimly aware of Naruto's feather light touch, as he pinned the hair back from Sasuke's forehead.

"Off," Sasuke mumbled thickly, trying to swat Naruto away weakly.

He squinted at the cauldron of copper vomit filling the base of the toilet. It was the same semi opaque, syrupy, dark honey-like, fluid as the fire balls that he'd drunk. He doubted he'd even digested the full amount of alcohol. He groaned and sat back on his ankles, kneading his eyes with the heels of his palms.

"You never puke, your tolerance must have plummeted," Naruto joked nervously and when Sasuke didn't respond he went on. "I didn't mean what I said," he murmured, sliding down to sit on the floor beside Sasuke. "It's just, all the stress, it's messing everything up – it's getting in my head," Naruto raked his hands through his hair, leaving it standing on end. "But it won't ruin us," he grazed Sasuke's clammy cheeks with his fingertips.

Sasuke didn't think Naruto understood exactly how much of a mess things were already in. Somewhere, tucked away in a drawer in their bedroom, was hidden the address for Sasuke's mother and father; of which he still had no clue what to do with. His brother was once again screening critical things from him, leaving him doubting all that he already knew. He couldn't focus to get his head around his dissertation, the stress begat absence seizures which rendered him unable to study. And now, it seemed he had his relationship to worry about, the one thing he'd believed stable and enduring.

He was beginning to lose his footing on reality…

* * *

On the day they were due to travel back home, Sasuke awoke early; he had been sleeping less and less, functioning on two hours of sleep. This owl-like behaviour did not bode well with Sasuke's epilepsy. He was having absence seizures on loop every morning, like some constant awareness crushing pulse. He stood in his kitchen at five 'o' clock without fail, his hands clenching and unclenching uncontrollably at his sides, his eyes rolling. The worst part was, he couldn't bring himself to car anymore, couldn't find it in himself to fear the seizures.

He reached behind the kettle and withdrew his medication, throwing back his lamictal and ethosuxamide in quick succession. When it came to downing his sertraline however, he found the medication strip empty. Frowning, he searched the cupboard under the sink for a new box, but found none. With a groan of realisation, it hit him that he must've forgotten to put in a new repeat prescription for his mood stabilisers. His epilepsy medication came in two-monthly quantities, his mood stabilisers on the other hand only came in one monthly batches.

"For fucks sake," he muttered, kicking the sink cupboard shut with brute force.

His hand moved to the scab where the old wound from the splinter had begun to heal. It had become itchy where the skin was melding itself back together. Sasuke raked his neat nails over the ugly scab until the wound reopened. The short burst of pain was enough to distract him, to deflate the swell of anxiety in his chest.

There was no need to feel bad though, the injury wasn't his doing, just an accident…

* * *

On the train home, Sasuke pressed his foot against Naruto's, matching their soles; in an attempt to distract him from the large A3 portfolio spread across his lap.

"What's the matter?" Sasuke asked in a musical tone, as Naruto pulled his headphones out and shifted in his seat to face Sasuke.

"What do you think?" Naruto sighed, pressing his temple against the train window. Sasuke watched the scenery whizzing by outside, reflect in Naruto's downcast eyes.

"It'll be alright next time," Sasuke assured and Naruto pulled a sceptical face.

His proposal had been rejected, and he had until after the Christmas break to reform his portfolio, or face resitting the year.

"You're right, I don't try hard enough," Naruto sighed and Sasuke blinked.

"I've never said that you don't try," he countered and Naruto's lip quirked.

"You don't need to." Sasuke didn't say anything, he only met Naruto's eyes, wondering how well Naruto could really know him if that's what Naruto believed Sasuke thought of him.

The old group chat between them and all their old friends had fired up again; everybody was excited to be reunited once more. Nobody more so than Sasuke and Temari, though. It had been two whole years since Sasuke had last seen his best friend in the flesh.

"Do you think everybody's changed loads?" Naruto asked with a wry grin and Sasuke snorted.

"Doubt it."

* * *

Sasuke was reunited with Temari much sooner than he could've anticipated. He and Naruto were just trying to navigate the exit of the National Rail Service, Sasuke sniggering as Naruto fell flat over their bags; when a voice made him straighten up.

"Oi, you!" He did a pirouette on the stop, seeking out the shouter. "Over here!" He turned and saw a girl, with hair like a wreath of thistles, charging towards him from the platform café.

"Tem…" She threw her arms around him before he could finish, he thought he could feel his ribs bowing beneath her embrace. "Temari, there are organs inside me, loosen up a bit!" Sasuke laughed, squirming out of her hold.

"Our flight landed in Manchester early, so we got the earlier train back," she rambled into his shoulder, not letting go.

"Hey you two," a drawling voice came and an almost unrecognisable Shikamaru followed.

"Your hair!" Naruto's lack of common courtesy never failed to floor Sasuke. "It's gone."

"They don't let him keep it in the army," Temari grinned, slapping her husband's bald head. "He looks bloody hilarious, doesn't he?" Sasuke smiled, so pleased to have Temari's arm around him, like an elastic band holding him together.

"Shall we go then?" Shikamaru suggested, swinging an arm in the direction of the exit.

When the four of them stepped out onto the soil they'd all left two years ago it was surreal; like tripping into a dream, because nothing had changed…

* * *

I hope you enjoyed! please review :)


	4. Chapter 4: Hawthorn

Helloo!

So, another super seederific update!

Like I said, I do update everyday, sometimes it just doesn't show up on the 'Just In' page!

Thank you for the lovely reviews everybody both on this story and the prequel, you are all amazing humans! I just love you so much! *hug*

I hope you enjoy this chapter chaps, chapettes and boblettes!

* * *

Chapter 4.

Hawthorn.

The last time Sasuke had set foot on Burgess Crescent had been the summer holidays; and just like he had then, Sasuke couldn't help but notice the places enduring state of recrementitious wealth. At Christmas, the faces of the palatial houses glimmered with modish white lights, and the lawns were spread with festively vogue ornaments. He could see the six foot Christmas trees through the bay windows of each home as he passed by, dragging his duffel bag with him. All of the ornaments on the trees were perfectly coordinated and conforming with the rest of the homes decor. That was the thing about Burgess Crescent; everything looked natural, tasteful, and utopian, but it was all a lie. There were rules and edicts pronounced to them from birth by their parents, that indoctrinated them into the theatre that was the upper-middle-class.

Sasuke hesitated by his front gate and turned to face Naruto, whom had walked him home. Some time ago, two years to be precise, Temari would've done this walk with him, but not anymore. Her father Rasa, and her uncle, had disowned her, ever since her choice to marry Shikamaru. In Rasa's eyes, Temari was the wife of a squaddie, and their union held no monetary benefit to him. She'd lowered herself to a working class life.

"You going straight home?" Sasuke asked Naruto, who was looking up and down the street, his expression unreadable.

"Yeah, mum's probably made a trifle; she thinks it's my favourite. She's wrong." Naruto scrunched his face up in disgust.

"You're very ungrateful, you know," Sasuke chided teasingly and Naruto smirked. As a robin lifted from next door's hawthorn tree, scattering a few fat red berries in its wake, a misty look came over Naruto. "What, are you super into bird watching now?" Sasuke peered at Naruto, and gave him a little 'thunk,' on the head with his knuckles. Naruto looked startled and blinked, shaking his head he knocked Sasuke's hand back gently.

"I honestly forget how big your street is," he spouted and Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it's fairly spacious…" Sasuke acknowledged slowly. "More space for people to let their bichon frises' crap," he added wisely with a little laugh, but Naruto did not join him in his laughter.

Naruto took a deep breath before speaking, resolutely avoiding Sasuke's eyes.

"I'll meet you tomorrow down the embankment, there's something I need to say; I've been thinking about it a lot recently…" He trailed off, biting his lip so hard that the flesh turned bloodless. "Just meet me, yeah?"

"What is it, can't you say it now?" Sasuke shifted where he stood, his insides feeling flighty.

"No." Naruto shook his head, still not looking at Sasuke, who was beginning to feel horribly hollow.

"Oh, okay then," Sasuke nodded, trying to sound far more composed than he felt, "yeah, sure. What time?" Naruto gave him a time, still speaking in that evasive tone; like he was speaking outer-body.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," Sasuke said, taking a backwards step towards his gate, his bones felt like they'd all been loosened at the joints.

"Yeah," Naruto was turning his back to him.

"I love you," Sasuke said quickly to the back of Naruto's head, and Naruto stilled for a moment.

"Yeah, _you too_."

* * *

Sasuke let himself through his front door, feeling slightly queasy as he did so. When he slammed the front door behind him, he heard the sound of chairs scraping on the kitchen floor.

"It's just me, don't panic," he called wanly, dumping his duffel bag and making his way through to the familiar Uchiha kitchen. It was exactly as he remembered it, a cave of chrome and clinquant formica.

Sat at the rectangular, chrome table, either side of an artistic vase of lilies, sat Izumi and his aunt Rin. Both looked as though they'd been engrossed in particularly poignant and intense conversation. Izumi looked uncharacteristically sombre, whilst Rin's own face was pinched with the ghost of concern.

"Sasuke! They both turned to look at him, Izumi brightening a mite. "You're home."

"Yeah," Sasuke nodded, coming a step closer to them. "You two alright?" He looked between them and the two women righted themselves.

"Absolutely," Izumi said firmly.

"I was just popping in to discuss Christmas," Rin smiled, picking up the mug in front of her.

"Are you and Obito coming here?" Sasuke inquired and didn't miss Rin glance in Izumi's direction.

"Yes, and Shisui and Mabui," She nodded, something incredibly false about her tone. "A proper family Christmas," she smiled.

 _Without mum or dad_. Sasuke resisted the urge to point out.

"So, where is my brother lurking then?" Sasuke sighed, glancing around him as though expecting Itachi to pounce out of the fridge.

"He's not here, Sasuke," Izumi said flatly, her eyes fixed on her half-drunk mug.

"You what!? The cheek of that man!" Sasuke snapped. "He can't even be arsed to drag himself back here – honestly Iz, you could do a lot better than my sack of crap brother!" Sasuke fumed. "I've got some weird art mates at uni now, so if you need the number for a good taxidermist to get that crow seen to…"

"You are obsessed with that bird, Sasuke," Rin cut in, one eyebrow arched.

"I'm long suffering, that's all," Sasuke retorted in a voice of deepest disdain.

Looking at Izumi, Sasuke doubted that he was the only one who was long suffering…

* * *

"I mean, I'm grateful for their hospitality, but Jesus it feels weird!" Temari exclaimed.

Sasuke had met her on the Roman Viaducts overlooking one of the many stretches of meadow in their town. Once upon a time, Temari would simply turn up at his house in her pyjamas, however, those days were over.

"They're your family now, you're a Nara," Sasuke reminded her with a wry grin and she cast him a lofty look. "So what's it like being an army wife?" Sasuke asked, leaning back on his palms and watching her with a smile.

"Well," she began, "I can never find bloody anything because we're always moving! 'Where's the bottle opener?' ' _It's behind the shampoo,'_ that's my life now." She laughed. "I mean, I love seeing new places, but it's kind of sad when you settle in one place, make all these friends and then one day they're just gone, you know?" She glanced down at her hands and Sasuke felt a stab of pity. "And then, I guess it would be nice if Shikamaru didn't have to go away quite so much, obviously don't tell him, but I do miss the bald idiot." She grinned affectionately.

"I won't say anything," Sasuke promised with a small smile.

"So, yeah, army-wife-life has its ups and downs; being booted out of my family stung a bit too," she snorted and then shrugged, staring out of the meadow. "So what about you? How's being madly and sickeningly in love treating you?" She turned and grinned at him, her eyes sparkling impishly.

Sasuke's breath caught in his chest. _Just tell her._ A voice at the back of his head urged. _She's your best friend; tell her you think he's going to end it with you._

"Yeah, yep, we're just great," She told her falsely.

 _Coward._

"I'm glad; and what about your meds, they all working?" She scrutinized him.

He was having absence seizures on a loop and wasn't taking his mood stabilisers. In all fairness, he hadn't neglected his sertraline on purpose, and he wouldn't be able to get a new prescription until he was back in Bournemouth.

"Yep, I'm all good," he nodded.

After all she had confessed to him, and he couldn't even muster one ounce of honesty in return.

"Fewf, I am relieved," she sighed and then she beamed. "I'm so glad we're the early one's back and everybody else doesn't get back until the day after tomorrow. I mean, I love the rest of our friends, but I just wanted this moment with you to feel like me again, you know?" She looked down at him, her expression radiant.

"Yeah, I really do, Tem."

* * *

Back home and Sasuke was already fighting with his brother.

"Not even cold in my grave!" Sasuke was hollering at the top of the stairs.

"Sasuke, you've been gone two years!" Itachi roared back.

"Well excuse me for setting foot outside my own home!" Sasuke snapped, "I suppose I should've expected you to gut the bedroom I've had my whole life and turn it into a guest room!" He shouted down acerbically and Itachi sighed sharply, he was tapping his foot, a clear sign that he was losing patience.

"Sasuke, you've had that bedroom for fourteen years actually: discounting the six years that we lived in Kensington and the two years that you haven't actually fucking lived here!" Itachi pointed out furiously and Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"Right!" He pointed down at Itachi, "Fucking RIGHT!" Sasuke stormed through to his bedroom – now a guest bedroom – and wrenched three of the hideous monochrome paintings of cherubs, like fat winged babies, off the wall. "Here!" Sasuke began to launch the paintings down the stairs at Itachi, who threw an arm up to shield his face.

"Boys!" Izumi appeared in the stairwell looking mortified, "Stop it!" She cried, watching as Itachi tried to fight his way through the storm of canvases. "I mean it, stop!" She roared, her voice breaking and both Sasuke and Itachi halted their battle.

"What am I supposed to do!? I haven't even got a bedroom anymore!" Sasuke cried.

"You've got a bedroom at university, and you can still use that room," Itachi snapped, rubbing his forehead where one of the paintings had struck him.

"I don't! That bedroom's shared and…" Sasuke broke off, he wasn't ready to talk about Naruto yet, least of all to his brother. "You've got glitter on your face Itachi, I don't know where you've been going, or what double life you've picked up, but you look fucking ridiculous!" Itachi's hand shot to his face and he spun to look at a pale Izumi.

Sasuke didn't hang about to see what might erupt between them however, instead he sprinted back to what had once been his bedroom, but now held no trace of him; except his snake, Aoda, and slammed the door.

* * *

Later that evening, he sat on the edge of the empty bath, and Sasuke wasn't angry any more, he was simply locked in a strange trance. It was like too many thoughts were trying to push their way into his brain, but were struggling and clogging at the entry point. He could barely catch a single one to focus on and so only had a head full of panicked, disconsolate stew.

He had to give himself something different to focus on, something that would render him temporarily ignorant of the loudness in his mind. He used his nail to pull apart the splinter wound in his arm, tugging on it and slicing at it until it grew larger. He felt his own wiry muscles stirring deep beneath the scorching, bloody tissue that he picked apart, blood blackening his fingernails. Wincing and squinting his eyes against the pain, but continuing even as his sight became marred by involuntary tears, Sasuke only stopped when the blood on his skin became too slippery.

Swiping at his arm quickly with a piece of tissue, and gritting his teeth when feathery balls clogged in the wound; Sasuke kicked the bathroom bin open. He hesitated before throwing the bloody tissue in though. The bin was piled high with pill bottles. Frowning, Sasuke reached down and pulled one out, but a fountain of green pills fell from the bottle as he did so; the plastic was split, almost as though somebody had thrown the small container. Sasuke read the label on the bottle: _'Folic Acid,'_ and it had been prescribed to Izumi. He dropped the bottle and squinted down at the next, they were vitamin supplements, also prescribed to Izumi, also in a cracked container.

 _Why was Izumi on so many prescription pills? And why had they been disposed of in such a desperate and hate-filled manner?_

* * *

Oooh, cliffhanger, Izumi :O...Please review, much love!


	5. Chapter 5: Silver

Hellooo!

So this update is not super speedy!

I do have an excuse! The site was not letting me publish documents at first, and then just documents to this story. BOOO!

So sorry, sunshines :'(

Thank you for your reviews, I love you all so much!

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Chapter 5.

Silver.

Have you ever felt so utterly stretched apart and alone, that when you search inside yourself for a core, you can't find your own essence of person? You feel so isolated and adrift in a realm so full of company, that when you look inside, you begin to struggle to find a person at all…

Sasuke awoke in the comfortless spare bedroom. It was so sterile and clinical…He didn't belong here…Where did he belong? If it wasn't here with his own family, in the home he'd known for so long, then where was it? Back in Bournemouth with his soon to be ex-boyfriend? No, not there either…

Was it simply, that Sasuke was a purposeless person? Meant for nowhere and no one? Born a diseased nomad…

Slinging his legs over the edge of the guest bed, Sasuke stared ahead of him at the white wash wall. Why had Izumi and Itachi re-painted that wall? It had been white when he inhabited the room; had they been that desperate to eradicate any trace of him?

Feeling sick, Sasuke headed to his unpacked duffel bag and pulled some clothes free of its confines. He winced, and wondered for a moment why his arms felt stiff and swollen, _and then he remembered._ He turned his thin arms over, so that the delicate skin of his wrists fell under the glare of the morning sun creeping through his window. The flesh was picked and torn apart, like a ragdoll a dog had sunk its teeth into. The scabs were a nebulous colour where the wounds had reopened and bled overnight. Sasuke gazed at the ruined skin, at what he'd done to himself, and he felt his throat work.

 _No. No crying. He had somewhere to be._

He pulled long sleeves over his arms, hiding the damage; that was his secret, the secret of a redundant no one.

"Morning," Itachi called from the kitchen as Sasuke thundered down the stairs, swiping toothpaste from around his mouth. Itachi was trying to make piece for their fight the previous night. Sasuke wasn't angry anymore, he'd come to accept his place in Itachi's life.

"I'm going out," He replied flatly.

He had somewhere to be. He had a break-up to be at. His break-up…

* * *

As Sasuke made his way to the embankment, he was so wired with panic, that he was almost calm. It was like there was so much fear inside of him, so much anxiety, that they had all cancelled each other out.

There were three things he was sure of:

The first was that his boyfriend was about to leave him, _and that was his choice._ Sasuke might have become complacent in his belief that he and Naruto were and imperishable force. No matter the class divide, or the fights, or all the complications that came with Sasuke, he'd thought that they were enduring. _But they weren't._ _And if that was Naruto's choice, Sasuke was just going to have to accept it…_

The second was, that his brother had a new family in the making. Sasuke knew what Folic Acid was for now, it was a supplement for pregnant women. If Izumi was pregnant, then it seemed Itachi wanted his fresh start, and Sasuke wasn't part of that fresh start. _That was his choice too, one that Sasuke was just going to have to learn to accept._

The third, was that Sasuke's dissertation was a joke. No matter how hard he struggled and fought to compile notes and data; at the end of the day, he was just sat highlighting meaningless texts for the sake of it.

These were all just components of a reality that Sasuke had no control over. All he could do, was acknowledge them, and accept them for what they were. Because, his existence was second-class, it was one that served to buffer the happiness of other's. He understood it now, that people like him, the purposeless second-class people, didn't get to have real fulfilled lives; they were just there to help the rest of the world fulfil their own happiness. He was a disposable instrument of the masses.

As he meandered along the embankment, it was with a cold sort of clarity. The long grass was frozen solid underfoot and shattered like glass. The air was tangy with the stench of fertile earth as the beck had risen up with high rainfall, and flooded the ground, making the mud pulpy and treacherous. Sasuke watched a family of minnows dart downstream with the current _. Family_. Maybe he wasn't alone after all.

He emerged into the widest patch of earth and stopped. There stood Naruto, staring down into the beck, his expression unreadable. The early morning sun reflected off the water, and threw back into his face, catching in his blonde hair like a halo. He must've heard Sasuke, because he turned and looked up. When he caught sight of him, he didn't smile, he only took him in looking a little paler than normal, and twisted with nerves.

"Sasuke…"

So, it began. Well, Sasuke wasn't going to help him, and so he stayed resolutely tight lipped.

"Thanks for meeting me," Naruto smiled weakly, and Sasuke nodded brusquely, like this was some kind of business meeting.

"I just, I need to say a few things first…" Naruto began and Sasuke swallowed; he wished Naruto would just do it, that he wouldn't drag it out like this.

"We've been fighting, a lot, I know that and so do you – you must be mad about that," Naruto began in a soft tone and Sasuke averted his eyes to a weeping willow in the distance. "I know I get mad, a lot. And I know that you're from this big fancy world, and it's almost impossible to ignore that…" Was it? Was it almost impossible to ignore that? Or did Naruto make it impossible for him to ignore that? "And I know that you're sick, and you aren't going to get better," Sasuke scowled, of all the reasons to give, that felt like the lowest. "So, I want to…"

"Don't!" Sasuke hadn't wanted to say it, he'd promised himself he wouldn't say anything; that he'd let Naruto slip away easily and with grace. Because, that's who Sasuke was, he was a mess inside, not outside. He couldn't stop himself though, he choked on the plea before he could stop himself.

Naruto looked taken aback, his hand was halfway to the breast pocket of his suede jacket.

"Don't what?" He blinked, his brow creasing, dragging his honeyed skin in at the centre perplexedly.

Sasuke dithered, not sure what to do or so; feeling very small and stupid, stood in the mud shuddering with the cold and emotions.

"Don't leave," he mumbled awkwardly, turned his gaze towards the fast running water. "Don't leave _me_ , please." There was silence for a moment, only the sound of the wind rushing the vines of the weeping willow and the water crashing.

"What?" Naruto spluttered and Sasuke chanced a glance at him. "You what!? _Leave you?"_ Naruto stared at him utterly incredulous. "Sasuke," he sighed finally, rolling his eyes and reaching into his pocket. "I'm not going to leave you." Sasuke watched as a glinting silver chain unfurled from Naruto's pocket, threaded with a ring swinging like a pendulum. "This is a promise ring – I'm giving you this as a promise, that once we graduate, I'm going to ask you to marry me." Naruto smiled shyly, dangling the chain. "I've been sketching out massively about asking you so…Sasuke?"

Sasuke had turned his back on Naruto firmly, trying to steady his breathing as he pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. Relief was washing over him in overwhelming waves; so why was he gritting his teeth against tears?

"Sasuke?" Naruto said again, and Sasuke's throat worked, a little clucking gasp escaping him. "Did you really think I was going to break it off with you?" Naruto quizzed sounding sad as he came closer to Sasuke, tracing a finger softly down the back of his neck. "Sasuke, we're past that…We've always been past that," he murmured. "I told you, when you were in hospital; all scabby and slobbery after your big bang of a seizure…I told you then, that you're the centre of my universe." Sasuke inhaled sharply at this. He swiped away any rogue tears on his cheeks quickly and turned to face Naruto.

"I wasn't slobbery," he sniffed and Naruto grinned, pinching his thumb and index finger together.

"You were a bit slobbery, but I've never seen anybody make a hospital gown look quite so Cosmopolitan worthy," Naruto chuckled, using his thumb to catch any stray tears that Sasuke had missed; holding onto the underside of Sasuke's jaw gently with his long fingers.

"I did look good in that mint-green cotton and twill tape combo," Sasuke laughed, reaching up to place his hand over Naruto's.

"So," Naruto said, a small smile playing on his lips as he gazed down at Sasuke, "what do you say, wanna become my fiancé-on-reserve?" He asked, and even though the question was spoken coyly, there was a vulnerability potent in his cornflower eyes.

"Well, I dunno, this is all so sudden, we've only been together what, two years?" Sasuke grinned wickedly when Naruto looked alarmed. "Yes, yes of course." He smiled and leant up to kiss Naruto lightly. "Of course I'll become your fiancé-on-reserve." He murmured against Naruto's lips and Naruto let out a little noise of pleasure that made Sasuke smirk.

"Even though," Naruto stepped back and held the chain over Sasuke's head, "fiancé is really just husband-on-reserve anyway." Sasuke felt a shock go through his insides at that word. The ring on the end of the chain hit the base of his throat with a little thud; melding with his pulse. It felt right, its heaviness a reminder that it was there, a reminder that Naruto was there…

 _His fiancé-on-reserve…_

* * *

Sasuke was forced to separate with Naruto a short while later; their friends were all coming home that day, and that night was _The Night_ , as it had been dubbed. Sasuke had a lot to do before they went out; he had a few hours to while away, pretending at productivity whilst staring blankly at his dissertation.

He had to mill around in his home just long enough to provoke another fight with Itachi; he wasn't allowed to bicker with him on Christmas day, or at least not before five in the evening, so they had to get all of their animosity out in the days leading up to Christmas.

He had to find a way to congratulate Izumi, without congratulating Itachi at the same time. The very idea that Itachi could conceive any kind of spawn repulsed Sasuke.

Then, he had to be over Naruto's by six, for a piece of the trifle that Kushina had made.

As he paced the town streets however, he met with a distraction. Outside of his old primary school, he saw Izumi. He looked around, but she seemed to be alone; stood by the playground gates staring wistfully in at the mother's dropping off their children. As Sasuke drew closer, he saw that she wasn't dressed for the weather; in an old t-shirt that must have been Itachi's in hung so loosely on her, a pair of leggings and what looked like house slippers.

"Iz?" He reached out and touched her shoulder, but she flinched like he'd slapped her. "Iz – are you okay?" He said slowly, already knowing the answer.

She turned and looked at him with wide eyes, as though surprised to see him there.

"Sasuke, yes, I'm fine, I'm supposed to be meeting Mabui so…" She trailed off at the sound of a child shrieking, zoning in like a hawk. The child was only shrieking in delight however, as it's father swung her high in the air.

"And Mabui's meeting you here…Outside a primary school?" Sasuke said. "Izumi, doesn't that sound a bit strange to you?" He said carefully and Izumi started.

"What? Oh, yes…No, she's not meeting me here, I just got distracted," She shook her head looking confused.

"Is it because your pregnant?" Sasuke quizzed with a sigh. He wasn't expecting Izumi's startled reaction, or for her to look so queasy.

"I'm not, Sasuke," She said and Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to lie."

"I'm not pregnant, Sasuke." She said and her tone was unlike he'd ever heard it; he couldn't describe the lamentable sound, but whatever it was, it was deeply sad.

"Oh," was all he could think to say.

"Mabui will be waiting, join us?" She fixed him with eyes that had once been young and bright, but were not flat and spiritless.

"Yeah, okay Iz," He nodded.

He didn't want to leave Izumi drifting through town alone in whatever heartbroken trance she lapsed into.

 _Sasuke might not understand what was happening between Itachi and Izumi. What he did understand, was the evidence in front of him; his brother had torn down beautiful Izumi…_

* * *

 _Waahhh, Izumi! Please review huns :) x_


	6. Chapter 6: Time

Hellooo!

Chapter 6, yaaaay!

Such a reminiscing chapter! - It's quite a long chapter too haha, sorry, my ramblings.

Thank you for your reviews - you're angels!

Top points if anyone remembers canon Kokuō and Chōmei...

Much love!

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 6.

Time.

There had been many times in Sasuke's life when he'd felt out of place. It was a natural part of having an unseen disability; you projected, and amassed it into a globoid of self-conscious energy. However, never had Sasuke felt more out of place than he did in The Ridge Tower Tea Rooms.

He sat awkwardly at the drop-leaf table, the ivory silk table cloth, with its diaphanous organza runner pooling around his knees. He fixed his attention on the quaint vase of sweet peas set in the middle of the table, to try and forget just how much he stuck out. With his black hair, tan parka and scuffed up jeans he was the height of extrinsic.

"Shisui's such a baby about Christmas, I swear we can't cram another bloody fairy light on our house – our electricity bill must be through the roof…" Mabui was rambling, picking apart a dark chocolate tiffin as she went. "And the tinsel! The poor chinchillas are living in a state of permanent disco-tech he's lashed that much tinsel to their cage!"

Sasuke's gaze trailed to a silent Izumi, who was nodding along wanly every now and then. Mabui must've noticed that Izumi wasn't engaging, that she wasn't herself…

"What about you Sasuke, is it an Uchiha thing? Are you Christmas obsessed?" Mabui asked and Sasuke faltered, his gaze torn between Mabui and the grim Izumi. To his surprise though, Mabui caught his eye and shook her head so subtly, had he not been watching closely the action would've been imperceptible.

So Mabui had noticed Izumi's peculiar behaviour…

"Oh…No, not really…My boyfriend's more into that sort of stuff…" Sasuke replied with difficulty as he stared unreservedly at Izumi.

"That's right, you two are living together now aren't you? How's that? Fed up of him leaving his dirty knickers everywhere yet?" Mabui waggled her eyebrows and Sasuke spared her a bemused smirk.

"They're boxers, not knickers – and we live with two other dudes, so I can't really tell whose are whose," he admitted, wondering how he had descended so rapidly into a discussion about pants.

"I remember my student days," Mabui sighed, "That's how I met your cousin; you get one BSc in Equine Management and end up with a boyfriend for life." She snorted, her eyes twinkling affectionately. "Did you know that's how we met? He was being a flash prick down Epsom Down Racecourse and I was the on-sight trainer for Kokuō," she explained her eyes misty at the memory. "I've actually always loathed horse racing, even with the overseeing of The British Horseracing Authority, the cruelty's still there. Anyway, Kokuō was this stunning camarillo white horse that I'd been raising using phase-sensitive learning…Then the next thing I know, she's being traipsed out for racing." She sighed, tapping her teaspoon on the edge of her flat white. "Then," a sly grin spread over her lips, "along came your cousin, and bought Kokuō straight off her jockey, Han," she looked so blissful when she spoke that Sasuke couldn't help but smile with her. "Now I've got Kokuo and another rescue racehorse, a beautiful palomino called Chōmei."

"That's lovely, I can't imagine my cousin being so impossibly sweet," Sasuke sniggered and Mabui's eyes twinkled.

"You can come stay with us you know, Sasuke, we'd love to have you; you could meet my Kokuō and Chōmei. You and Izumi could come stay in your Easter break, you could bring your boyfriend too…" It did not go unnoticed by Sasuke, that there had been no invite extended to Itachi.

"Actually, this morning, Naruto and I…" Beside him, Izumi cringed abruptly and Sasuke stopped speaking, turning to look at her. Her face was contorted with pain and she had rocked forwards; frozen over the table like a waxwork. On the other side of Sasuke, Mabui had stopped her dreamy smiling and was suddenly hyper-alert, inclining her whole body across the table towards Izumi.

"Iz?" Mabui asked, her voice sharp.

Izumi held up a hand to Mabui, her unhealthily dry palms flat as she dismissed her.

"Fine…I'm fine," She muttered, "I just need to use the ladies." Sasuke glanced between an alert Mabui and a rigid Izumi.

"I'll come with…"

"No," Izumi said quickly as she got to her feet. "No."

Sasuke watched Izumi's back as she drew further away; looking sad and small in Itachi's greying T-shirt and leggings that were loose on her wasted legs.

"Mabui," Sasuke turned to the woman and saw that she too, was staring after Izumi, her brow creased with concern. "What's going on with Iz?"

Her eyes darted to him, and she looked torn, and her lips moved as though she was saying something under her breath – like a prayer.

"Rin and I, we're sworn to secrecy," She explained, "but looking at my lovely Izumi, I think there comes a point where we're doing her more harm than good. We don't know what to do," Mabui caught her lip between her teeth, cutting herself off abruptly, looking scared, clearly frightened that she'd said too much.

"What's going on Mabs – I thought Iz was pregnant, she's got all these vitamins in the bin, and then I caught her outside my old primary school," Sasuke regaled in a hushed voice. "My brother's never home anymore. I don't get it."

Mabui's face twitched involuntarily it seemed, and Sasuke saw her throat work as she swallowed hard.

"Sasuke," She began in a quiet, furtive tone. "Look, what I say here, it doesn't leave this table," She turned her body to face him with a quick glance over her shoulder. "Two years ago, your brother concocted all kinds of plans and schemes to sink your father's company and steal his assets. I'm not saying he didn't do it for the right reasons, what your father was doing was unforgivable; not just to you, your father was involved in all sorts." She took a deep breath looking anxious. "The thing is, he dragged our entire family into his potentially criminal plots. My Shisui had to fake his own death, I didn't see the man I love for months and had to pretend to mourn for him, whilst also pretending to be penniless. We had to pretend to auction off all of Shisui's capital, my little Kokuō and Chōmei had to go into a false buyer's stable for half a year." Mabui's eyes flashed at the memory.

"And then there's Rin and Obito. Rin lost her job committing fraud to satiate your brother's scheme and Obito made himself lawfully accountable for all of the illegal crap Itachi was pulling. If your dad had actually investigated, he could've had every last one of us arrested." She hissed in an urgent rush. "Even you were a casualty of his plotting; I distinctly recall you ending up in hospital after a stint on drugs and a wham bang seizure, that everybody could've prevented if they hadn't been so bloody wrapped up in Itachi's shit." She caught Sasuke's eye looking stern. "Like I said Sasuke, I know that Itachi does these things for the right reasons; but he never sees the whole picture – he only sees what he wants to and because of that he's dangerous. He just fucks people's lives up remorselessly for these greater causes if he's given the chance." Little pink spots of rage had appeared in Mabui's cheeks and Sasuke reeled.

"What?"

"He's a threat to everybody in the family Sasuke, me, Shisui, you…Izumi. He's a threat because of his ignorance." She whispered, dropping her gaze to Izumi's untouched hot chocolate.

Sasuke stared at Mabui, tense jawed, his head whirring like somebody had just pushed a hornet's nest through his eardrum.

Mabui sighed and ran her hand over her face.

"Just, just don't mention babies to Iz anymore, okay?"

* * *

Sasuke was still rendered stupefied at half-seven that evening when he knocked on the Uzumaki door. He barely noticed as Naruto opened the door with an irritable rattle, to shake the broken latch free.

"Alright mate?" Naruto's brusque greeting reanimated Sasuke who blinked blearily.

"Hey man."

It was truly tragic, but on the doorstep to Naruto's White Hill home, as long as they were still in view of the neighbours and estate kids; Sasuke and Naruto were for all intense purposes as straight as two guys came. It was a pessimistic and hateful little world that they lived in, that they were different people on the streets to please people they could never place a name to.

"Come in," Naruto stepped aside, with a furtive glance past Sasuke's shoulder. _The glance_. To check that they hadn't given too much away, revealed themselves with an overly doting tone, or a carnal inclination of their bodies.

Sasuke brushed past Naruto, stopping in the porch to edge his ankle high, soft slate Timberlands off.

"Hi," Naruto breathed, tickling his fingers against Sasuke's open palm when he slammed the door, his touch sending goosebumps surging up Sasuke's spine.

"Yo," Sasuke greeted, turning to face Naruto as he covertly booted his shoes out the way.

"So," Naruto began as he watched Sasuke pulling his parka off, "mum knows." Sasuke froze with one arm out of his coat, his brows drawing together with a sense of daunting simmering in his gut.

"Kushina knows what, Naruto?" He asked steadily through gritted teeth.

Naruto looked shifty, fidgeting with his hands rhythmically for a moment before sighing.

"You know, about this morning." Sasuke immediately flared up, possibly more so than the situation warranted.

" _Why!?_ It's not like we're even engaged yet!" Sasuke hissed incredulously and Naruto looked startled.

"Alright, keep your hair on, what's got you all twisted up?"

"Nothing," Sasuke admonished and then thought again, "something, I'll talk to you later." He corrected irritably and sucked in a sharp breath, staring in the direction of Naruto's kitchen where he could see a figure moving. Naruto smiled in what he clearly hoped was an endearing and captivating manner; Sasuke only cast him a sour look before stalking into the kitchen.

Kushina stood mopping surfaces, wielding a whole arsenal of scouring brushes and cleaning products. She was wearing quite a pretty shamrock green circle dress, but the effect was somewhat ruined with the adornment of her usual flowery and slightly sooty apron.

"Hi Kushina," Sasuke greeted casually with a friendly wave.

"Hi Sasuke," Kushina responded in a knowing voice, dropping all of her cleaning tools into the sink with alarming haste. "How's my future- _future_ son in law?" She grinned slyly and then glanced to Naruto, "is that right? Did I get it right?"

"Mum, stop, that's enough," Naruto groaned, stepping up to the fridge looking mildly mortified.

"What?" She whispered under her breath and Naruto threw her a pointed look.

"Thanks, Kushina," Naruto interjected, "that's really kind." Sasuke began to cast about the kitchen, and his eyes fell upon Kurama's cat carrier.

"Minato's sulking," Kushina tittered, shooing Naruto away from the fridge, "he thought he was rid of that cat when Naruto left for university," she chuckled and Sasuke wrinkled his nose. The horrible, bad-tempered, ball of ginger fur and claws was his problem now. It was because of Kurama that Aoda had been forced to stay behind, the chance that Aoda might guzzle the ugly mog whole was a very real one.

"Here," Naruto proffered a bottle of Coke at Sasuke.

"Are you two boys going out tonight?" Kushina queried, dumping a sack of new potatoes on the kitchen countertop.

"Yeah, mum, for the tenth time," Naruto sighed.

"So you'll be eating – to line your stomachs?" She asked, her gaze as sharp as a hawk's.

"Yes mum," Naruto droned.

"What about you, Sasuke, are you staying for dinner?" She asked in a cheery tone, without looking up from her chopping board. Sasuke opened his mouth to reply, but Naruto cut across him.

"Yeah, he is."

Usually, Sasuke and Naruto vanished up to Naruto's bedroom and barricaded themselves in behind Naruto's poster clad door. That was their world, a world behind a hundred locked doors. Today though, Naruto sat in the small lounge.

"All my gaming shit's still at uni – this is dad's," he explained, unwinding the Xbox control, and launching it at Sasuke's head.

The Uzumaki sitting room was nice. It was very small and all of the furniture was mismatched, but somehow that worked. The sunken corduroy sofa, was so soft and snug, that Sasuke was sure he could've slept on it if he'd wanted to. There was a small electric fireplace ticking away in a grate beside the television, casting the illusion of warmth over them all. The mantel above the fireplace was cluttered with photographs, timelining Naruto's life throughout the years and his various achievements, and wedding photos of Kushina and Minato.

On the other side of the television, a synthetic Christmas tree stood erected heavy with an explosion of tinsel and baubles. Nothing matched, everything was fantastically random; you'd never catch anything like that on Burgess Crescent, nothing with so much character.

Sasuke found it surreal to sit in Naruto's living room; playing Xbox, living and laughing their world, _but in the real world_. Even when Naruto's father came home and joined them, Sasuke still felt at odds. Back in Bournemouth, they were free to be them, but that was only because they had been them from the word go. Here, where they had grown up, things were different and they were expected to veil who they were. However, Naruto's family transformed that and peeled back the strain. They made it easy…They made it normal…

"So, why were you so het up early?" Naruto asked through a mouthful of stew.

That was something else about Naruto's family; they ate together, not forcibly at a table, they actually wanted to eat together in the living room with trays on their laps.

"Oh," Sasuke replied, surprised that Naruto was bringing the subject up in front of his parents. "Just Itachi and Izumi, who else?" He rolled his eyes.

"I saw Izumi," Kushina piped up, taking a sip of her pineapple juice, "down the Co-op." Kushina shook her head looking troubled. "She didn't look good; and that's saying something because I work with patients in a care home all day." She met Sasuke's eyes. "All she had was marmalade, some oxo cubes, some olives, and a pack of codeine," she explained looking bewildered.

"There's a creative banquet," Minato commented and Kushina threw him a disapproving look.

"Whenever anything remotely sinister kicks off; my brother's usually behind it in some way," Sasuke muttered, recalling Mabui's words.

"Get down, you horrible monster!" Minato fended Kurama off as he launched himself at the bowl of stew in his lap.

Sasuke turned his attention to Minato, the tension in the room had severed instantly and softened to familial humour. Being around the Uzumaki's was bliss, it was like a safe and comfortable dream that he was never ready to wake up from…

* * *

"Wonder what everybody's up to," Naruto mused and Sasuke shrugged, combing his fingers through the turmeric and fawn mane lining his parka hood.

"Probably the same old if I know them," he sighed and Naruto eyed him with one eyebrow arched.

"I dunno," he mused, "we're not exactly the same as we were back then."

"That's us, this is them; I mean look at Shikamaru and Temari, exactly the same except Shikamaru's bald…"

"And a soldier," Naruto interrupted and Sasuke met his eyes with pursed lips.

"Yeah, well, there is that; but trust me, everybody will be exactly the same." Sasuke grinned knowingly.

He had never been so wrong.

* * *

Sasuke nearly choked on Sakura's heavily lacquered hair as she launched herself into a hug the second he walked into Sai and Ino's flat above a chip shop in Cafaude Place.

"Hey, Sakura," He greeted, giving her a little squeeze.

"Hey, dude!" She beamed, leaning back from him.

She looked different, one side of her head was shaved and the rest was cropped to her chin. She looked a far cry from the prim over-achiever that Sasuke remembered.

She wasn't the only one who looked drastically changed. As Sasuke moved further amongst his friends, touching knuckles with them, he began to appreciate just how much they'd all evolved with time.

Lee was so muscular he looked almost simian.

Choji had grown leaner and sprouted a coppery, whiskery beard that made him look like a lumberjack. He'd also bought his girlfriend back with him from university; Karui, a politics student, from Kumogakure University like Choji.

Shino had ditched his age-old Oasis fad, for a new electro stance.

One of the biggest changes was Kiba, who sat sprawled on the low sofa. He had done away with his old MK Dons strip, and instead lounged in a baggy black sweatshirt with a cannabis leaf splashed across the front. His hair was crammed beneath a flat cap and a pair of dark jeans hung low on him. He was also giving off a strangely pungent over that was oversweet, the kind of smell that had been at every turn when they'd all gone to Glastonbury.

"Hey, Sasuke bro!" He said in an unnaturally slow voice.

"Inojin, no!" Sasuke turned at the sound of Ino's frantic shriek.

He saw her chasing a small blonde boy through the apartment. Even though the pyjama clad child was unsteady on his feet, like a fawn, it was uncannily nippy ducking and weaving between their friends' legs.

"Ooof!" Sasuke caught the giggling child by the shoulders.

Inojin. This was Sai and Ino's son, and the resemblance to both of his parents was striking, even at his nascence. His strange opaline eyes were his mother's, as was the tuft of soft flaxen hair sprouting from his crown. His milky skin, so pale it looked nacreous, was all his father however.

"Hello," Sasuke smiled, heaving the baby up.

"Oh, Sasuke, hello," Ino drew to a halt in front of him looking flustered. "It's good to see you," she smiled and then cast about her shrewdly. "Where's Sai got to, he's supposed to be dropping Inojin over his friend Denki's from playgroup." She sighed, taking Inojin – who had begun to blow bubbles – back from Sasuke. "Make yourself comfortable, hun." She touched Sasuke's arm and then vanished.

Sasuke mingled with his old friends, feeling himself growing warner with the reminiscence.

"Kankuro," Sasuke brightened; he hadn't seen his best friend's brother, and his neighbour in the two years since Kankuro had left for France.

Kankuro glanced down at Sasuke and there was something distinctly off about his gaze, like he was disheartened to see Sasuke there.

"Oh, hey, Sasuke…" he greeted awkwardly.

"You alright man?" Sasuke asked cheerily and then something strange happened.

For years, as long as Sasuke could remember, all of the boys and some of the girls, had always greeted each other with a fist bump. When Sasuke went to touch Kankuro's knuckle instinctively though, Kankuro shied away, like Sasuke was contagious.

"Yeah." Kankuro responded shortly, pretending not to notice Sasuke's questioning stare as he moved away, leaving Sasuke reeling.

 _What had just happened? He and Kankuro had been friends for years, what had changed?_

* * *

 _Please review chaps and chappettes! x_


	7. Chapter 7: Scars

Hellooo sugars!

Chapter 7 ready to go, yay!

Such an action wham bam chapter!

Thank you for the reviews, follows, and favourites you stunning angels!

Please enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 7.

Scars. 

It was curious, how easily the old friends slipped back into their old world like they were teenagers again. It was a surreal, and magical thing companionship, Sasuke observed. No matter how far they had drifted from each other over the years, or how drastically they had changed on the surface; inherently, their cores were the same, and it was their cores that he loved.

Sasuke sat on Ino and Sai's balcony around their plastic picnic table. He watched as Choji carefully stacked train tickets in a precarious pyramid.

"Give me yours," Choji beckoned Shikamaru, without looking away from the tower.

"No way, I need it to get home, you know, _back to Europe_ ," Shikamaru laughed drunkenly from between Kankuro and Sasuke.

"Oh don't be a melt, you'll get it back," Choji muttered, picking his still smoking cigarette up off the rim of a can of Heineken, and placing it between his lips. Shikamaru sighed and slipped his wallet out of his back pocket.

"I either get this back, or I take one of your kidneys as collateral," Shikamaru threatened as he passed the ticket to Choji, who nodded distractedly.

They lapsed into silence. It was only Sasuke, Shikamaru, Choji, Kankuro, Kiba, and Karui on the balcony. The rest of their noisy party was still indoors, fussing obstreperously around Sai's speaker system.

"Here," Shikamaru held a carton of Marlborough Red out to Sasuke, using his smallest finger to edge a pre-rolled cigarette free of its snug herd. Sasuke took the straight and held it between his lips, touch-lighting swiftly off Shikamaru's already glowing cherry. As he leant away from Shikamaru, he felt Kankuro's eyes following his every move, like a falcon waiting to clinch its prey. Sasuke pretended not to notice Kankuro's keen gaze and instead turned his attention to the view from the balcony.

He could see the city, sprawling at the feet of skyscrapers and three-story town houses. It was the city where he had grown up, the environment that had shaped him into the man that he had become. Sasuke grazed his teeth ruminatively over the cigarettes filter. Would he come back to this place again?

"I like your necklace, Sasuke," Karui dragged him from his reverie and he turned, meeting her friendly, shining eyes. "It's lovely," she gestured towards her own collar, where hung a whole cache of gold and fat jewels.

"Thanks, it's…" Sasuke begun, with the intent of explaining the meaning behind the necklace. He had reached a level of drunk, where he was full of false confidence, the type that always spiralled into regret.

"That's just the type of thing your lot are into though, isn't it?" Kankuro interrupted with a sly smirk, as he brought his can of Stella up to his lips. Everybody fell silent and Sasuke frowned, not grasping Kankuro's meaning.

"Huh?"

"Flouncy, sparkly little things – dressing up like princesses," Kankuro chuckled nastily and Sasuke frowned; around him his friends looked colourless and annoyed. Was it only Sasuke that didn't understand what was going on?

"Leave it out, Kankuro," Choji murmured, casting him a warning, sidelong glance.

"No, clearly he has something to say; so let him get it off his chest," Sasuke snapped caustically, "he's had a few pints of larger, so he's feeling brave – floor's all yours, Kankuro," Sasuke made a sweeping motion with his arm, narrowing his eyes as he watched Kankuro.

Kankuro didn't speak for a moment, he seemed torn; reluctant to take Sasuke's baiting.

"I just thought," Kankuro began, focusing on his hand and refusing to meet Sasuke's eye. "That you'd be more comfortable with a nice Cosmopolitan, not a beer," he dragged his gaze from his hand and locked eyes with Sasuke, his eyes cold with dislike.

"That's enough," Shikamaru cut in, his voice uncharacteristically harsh.

"I still don't get it," Sasuke shook his head, shrugging Kankuro's strange behaviour off.

"Are you lot really comfortable with it? I mean all these years, we've had him stay over our house, and all this time, he was a _fag._ "

It was like a penny dropped at Kankuro's words. A penny in a vast, empty, auditorium, so that it's collision sent up a deafening clamour. Sasuke froze for a moment, the word going all through him like rusty nails. Slowly, he turned his head to look at Kankuro, almost hoping he'd misheard.

Kankuro's eyes were bright, wired with a delirious buzz, excited and proud that he'd said the words.

 _"What did you just call me?"_ Sasuke demanded in a sharp voice and he felt their friends prickling with alertness around him.

"You heard me," Kankuro hissed, his eyes narrowed, he seemed reluctant to repeat himself.

"Are you fucking touched in the head or something?" Sasuke barked, "seriously, are you broken?" he snarled, "or are you just impossibly thick?" Sasuke met Kankuro's eyes which flashed. "What, do you think because I've dated _one boy,_ suddenly, I wanna jump the bones of every dude I come across? More to the point, Kankuro, do you really think I'd wanna touch a talentless, dirty, narrow-minded, thick, little loser like you?" Sasuke seethed, his hands shaking by his sides. "No, the answer's no." He snapped, chucking his cigarette aside and getting to his feet.

As he made to stalk away however, feeling unsteady on his feet with the shock of what had just happened, something snagged on his sleeve holding him back. Sasuke turned to see what he was caught on, only to find Kankuro had also risen to his feet and caught hold of Sasuke.

"Let go…"

Wham.

Kankuro punched Sasuke solidly in the face.

"Shit!" Sasuke cried, clutching his jaw and staggering away. His friends were on their feet preparing to intervene, but not before Sasuke hit back, matching Kankuro's hit to the face.

"Fuck!" Kankuro choked, his hands pressed over his nose as blood gushed between his fingers. "Fuck you, you fucking queer!" Kankuro roared thickly and threw himself at Sasuke with all his weight. Sasuke scrabbled for something to grab onto, something that would keep him upright so he could repel Kankuro. There was nothing however, and his fingers combed only thin air. With a yelp, his back crashed into the glass patio door. He didn't stop at the door however, with a groaning, splintering sound, the door gave way beneath the force of Sasuke's impact. The glass panel came apart in an arc of crystal shards and Sasuke followed, falling flat on his back.

He lay sprawled on his back for a moment, breathing rapidly, thinking how lucky he'd been. Then it began to dawn on him how hot his right shoulder felt; his shoulder never felt that independently febrile compared with the rest of his body. He reached up and touched two fingers to his shoulder: wet, it was soaking wet, so much so in fact that his fingers slid off it. Feeling hazy, Sasuke held his hand up to his face and groaned meekly, his fingers effulgent with scarlet blood.

"Sasuke?" Shikamaru was ducking through the hole Sasuke's body had left in the door. "Shit, Sasuke!"

"Shoulder, my shoulder," Sasuke said through gritted teeth, laying very still. "I think I got a bit of glass in it."

"Just a bit," Shikamaru gasped as he knelt beside Sasuke's head.

"What d'you mean?" Sasuke frowned, twisting to look, and seeing a large sheet of glass like a shark's fin extending from his clavicle. "Fuck," Sasuke looked away quickly, his head spinning.

"What's all the noise…Oh shit!" Their remaining friends had joined them in the sitting room.

"Sasuke!" Naruto wove through the gaggle of gawping twenty-year-old's and crouched beside him. "What happened?" He looked pale.

"I fell through a door," Sasuke muttered irritably, struggling to push himself upright, catching a glimpse of Kankuro still stood statuesque out on the balcony.

"You fell?" Naruto quizzed sounding panicky, "did you have a seizure?"

"No, and he didn't fall, Kankuro pushed him," Kiba revealed looking dark and the room fell silent.

"Kankuro…" Temari began in a tremulous voice from beside the sofa.

"He did what!?" Naruto's bellow drowned Temari out and Sasuke screwed his eyes tight shut.

"Should I call an ambulance?" Ino was asking, "Lee, let me borrow your phone."

"No! No ambulances," Sasuke interjected wearily, "I'll get a taxi to the hospital." He sat up, clutching onto his shoulder. "No ambulances," he repeated catching sight of Naruto's face. "Let's just go to A&E," he muttered.

* * *

At A&E, Sasuke had to wait an hour just to see the triage nurse. It was one in the morning by the time a doctor was free to see him, and being a patient who suffered with a chronic condition, Sasuke immediately came with a hospital fast pass – he hated to think how long everybody else had been waiting.

Sasuke sat on the edge of a hospital bed, in a small assessment room, swinging his legs.

"So, tell me what happened?" Naruto pressed and Sasuke shook his head quickly.

"Why not?" Naruto asked in exasperation. "I'll just ask Shikamaru."

"Then ask Shikamaru," Sasuke grunted, crossing his ankles and looking around him.

How many people had already been seen in this room today? He wondered. Get them in, and ship them out, that was hospital policy. Sasuke scrunched his fingers in the disposable paper blanket he sat on, running its tissue-like fibres through his fingers.

"Hello, are you Sasuke?" A bespectacled woman with tawny hair edged into the room. Sasuke nodded shortly, he was determined not to move too much and risk wincing or crying out in pain. "I'm Doctor Nonō Yakushi, I've come down from Paediatrics to be the A&E on-call tonight." Naruto and Sasuke shared a deeply sceptical look.

She began to pull on a pair of rubber gloves, talking cheerily the whole time; giving Sasuke and Naruto the opportunity to swap grimaces.

"I'm just going to have to ask you to pop your top off now, Sasuke," she smiled, taking a step closer to the bed.

"You what?" Sasuke barked, alarmed.

"I'm going to need to get to that wound in your shoulder," she elaborated.

"No," Sasuke refused; his mind buckling to the wound in his forearm; the wound he'd antagonised and helped create. He knew what people would call a self-inflicted injury like that, they knew what people would think of him, how they would brand him.

"Sasuke, I'm afraid I really need to get to that injury," Nonō insisted gently.

Sasuke's gaze drifted to a perplexed looking Naruto.

" _You_ have to leave," he told Naruto bluntly, and unsurprisingly Naruto looked stunned.

"What?" He spluttered, "Sasuke, I've seen you topless – neigh, naked – untold times," Sasuke's face felt very hot suddenly and he glowered at Naruto.

"I want you out," he ordered and Naruto looked floored, before a dogged look rent his face.

"No, I'm not going," he folded his arms and legs.

Sasuke glared at Naruto, but even he knew that Naruto's tenacity exceeded his by miles.

"Whatever."

He had to admit though, he was glad Naruto stayed with him when it came to removing the glass and stitching the wound back up. Even with the local anaesthetic, the procedure was still appalling and Sasuke had to lurch to one side to vomit into one of the hospital's provided cardboard bowls halfway through.

"It'll be sore for a little while, Sasuke," Nonō explained calmly, mopping his flesh gently with an iodine swab. "So, it's important to make sure you rest it," she continued, placing a dressing over the wound, so large that it engulfed the top right hand side of his chest.

"Yep," Sasuke acknowledged in a shaky voice.

"Is your next of kin the same as it was the last time you were admitted to hospital?" She queried, glancing down at a folder of notes. "Mikoto and Fugaku Uchiha?" Sasuke felt a twist at hearing his mother and father's names.

"No, it's Itachi Uchiha now," Sasuke told her, controlling his voice carefully.

Her eyes scanned the notes and then she nodded.

"Right, yes, he's on here – I'll go give him a call and see if he can pick you up." She winked as she backed out of the room.

"How you feeling?" Naruto quizzed, perching on the edge of Sasuke's bed. If the anaesthetic hadn't been wearing off Sasuke's shoulder, he might've tried to shrug.

"Sub-par," he admitted feebly and pushed the hair back off his face.

"What happened to your arm?" Naruto asked suddenly and Sasuke paused, frowning at Naruto like he was incredibly stupid.

"Oh, I don't know, it's a bit out of shape given the small window sized fragment of glass I just had dislodged from it." He pointed out in abject exasperation.

"No, not that you pleb," he gripped Sasuke's left arm and turned it over. "What's that?" He pointed at the fleshy canal chased into Sasuke's forearm.

"Oh, it's nothing," Sasuke muttered dismissively, pulling away from Naruto quickly.

"It doesn't look like nothing," Naruto frowned, catching Sasuke's wrist again, but Sasuke squirmed free of him.

"It's nothing," he insisted infirmly.

"It clearly is something," Naruto rebuffed, holding Sasuke tighter.

"Naruto!" Sasuke snapped finally, "it really isn't anything! I caught my arm on one of those poxy armatures you leave lying about and it gouged my arm up!" _He was lying._ Whenever he started telling lies, things always went wrong. He hadn't gouged himself at all, he picked up a tiny splinter; the rest he'd done himself.

"You did this on one of my armatures?" Naruto asked looking upset. He ran his thumb over the gruesome ravine, and Sasuke felt sick at Naruto's light and lovely touch, on the dirty and destructive wound. "Sorry." Naruto breathed and Sasuke shook his head.

"It's fine, don't apologise," he said briskly.

Naruto stooped and kissed the corner of Sasuke's mouth; Sasuke turned his head instinctively to lean into the kiss and meet Naruto's lips fully, but upon contact he froze. As he inhaled Naruto's scent, so lovely and safe, so perfect…So _masculine,_ Kankuro's words came floating into the back of his head, like a nasty taunting nursery rhyme.

"Sasuke?" Naruto murmured, feeling him stiffen beneath him. He looked down at his boyfriend of two years, a look of deepest confusion and worry twisting his handsome face. "What's the matter?"

Before Sasuke could answer, the door reopened and Doctor Nonō Yakushi reappeared looking harassed.

"Sasuke, I've tried calling your brother several times and I'm not getting any answer. In fact, he's declining the calls." She looked at Sasuke and Naruto helplessly.

"What? He has to be home, it's gone one in the morning!" Sasuke snapped, fighting to get up, but Naruto pushed him back down.

"I'll sort it," Naruto assured him.

"How, how are you going to sort my useless, sack of crap brother?" Sasuke bellowed after him, earning a few looks from the passers-by navigating the corridor outside his bedroom.

Sasuke stretched for his parka on the floor and groped for the pocket. He managed to wrap his fingers around the end of his iPhone and whipped it out.

 _Ring. Ring. Ring. Voicemail_. Itachi had cut him off!

"Itachi, you absolute ball sack! I'm in hospital, I've been run through with a glass door." Sasuke ranted waspishly down the phone. "I can't imagine why you aren't answering your phone, unless you've finally landed yourself in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle and are woefully out of signal range." Sasuke snapped before hanging up.

He flopped back on his bed and then winced, placing a hand over his shoulder; it felt unnaturally hot beneath its dressing. That wound was going to leave a scar, he noted, staring mistily up at the white tiled ceiling. He didn't care about cicatrices and flaws, he wasn't vain. This one was different though. There was a meaning behind this disfiguration, a horrible poignancy that he'd have to carry for the rest of his life. A message _: fag_.

Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath, holding it in for as long as he could, until his head began to pound and spin.

"Sasuke?" He opened his eyes, Naruto was looming over him. "They're here."

"Iz and Itachi are?" He blinked dazedly and Naruto shook his head.

"No, mum and dad." For a moment, for one shining moment, Sasuke thought Naruto was talking about his own parents; and then he realised that he meant Kushina and Minato.

"Oh, oh right. Yeah, let's go…"

* * *

At the Uzamaki residence, Sasuke lay curled under Naruto's duvet, trying to match his breathing to Naruto's.

"Is it hurting?" Naruto whispered as Sasuke shifted awkwardly.

"Not really," Sasuke muttered, trying not to touch Naruto; every time he did, Kankuro's words carried back to him and he felt like he was tainting Naruto by default.

"I bet Ino's going bat shit about her door," in the dark Sasuke saw a flash of Naruto's white teeth as he grinned. "Now that it's got a big Sasuke shaped hole in it."

"Mmm, not one of my best looks, like a glass porcupine." Sasuke muttered, smiling wanly.

"Mum's hysterical, I'm not sure how long I can fend her off for you know. She'll be up here first thing in the morning checking on you." Naruto stroked the bridge of Sasuke's nose, and Sasuke felt his heart constrict. He rolled onto his back, pulling one knee up and closed his eyes like he was meditating.

"Do I really have to call Shikamaru?" Naruto murmured and Sasuke felt the bed moving, "to find out what happened?" Sasuke bit his lip hard and curled his fingers into his palms until his nails broke the flesh. "I don't get why Kankuro would just push you through a door, Sasuke – I'm going out of my mind." Sasuke felt a cold rush over his forehead and opened his eyes to find Naruto leaning over him, his stare hard as he took Sasuke in. "This is driving me crazy."

Sasuke closed his eyes again, unable to stand staring in Naruto's open and adoring pair any longer.

"He pushed me because I'm with you," Sasuke explained in a low voice that threatened to break at every syllable. "He pushed me because I'm with a boy. He called me a…" Sasuke swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "He called me a fag." He felt Naruto go rigid over him and opened his eyes.

Naruto had frozen in place, was that how Sasuke had looked when Kankuro had hurled the word at him? Had he paled as Naruto did then? Had his eyes widened with credulous shock too? Had Sasuke's pulse accelerated so much that the point at the base of his throat jerked erratically? After all, this was Naruto's worst fear as well. They had always feared it, _intolerance and hatred_ , but they had never actually prepared for it, and certainly not from one of their oldest friends.

"When I see Kankuro…"

"Well that shouldn't be a problem, given that we're never seeing him again." Sasuke grumbled, glancing sulkily in the direction of Naruto's window.

"What?" Naruto asked hotly, "you want to hide from him? You want to let him know that you're scared, let him know that he's won…" Sasuke flared up at this.

"He hasn't won Naruto! Kankuro loses every day when he chooses to blindly isolate himself from a whole minority of people. He's the one shrinking his own world, losing out on a sea of potentially fantastic people for a pointless reason, including us. He's the one that loses, Naruto," Sasuke whispered the last part and reached up to brush Naruto's cheek. Naruto looked dubious however.

"Right now, it looks like he's winning," Naruto muttered, indicating Sasuke's bandaged shoulder.

"I think I broke his nose," Sasuke piped up, "if that helps?"

"You kept that one quiet," Naruto crowed with laughter, "whilst you were busy being the saintly little victim," his eyes twinkled and Sasuke smirked.

"My shoulder will heal. Kankuro's a homophobic prick that got twatted by a dude dating a dude, his pride will never recover. Who's the real winner here?" Sasuke grinned, cupping Naruto's chin and tangling his legs around Naruto's waist.

"Even when you're getting beaten-up, you're a conniving smart arse," Naruto grinned, his breath hot on Sasuke's cheeks as he bent closer to him.

"And you love me," Sasuke purred smugly.

"That I do," Naruto breathed, before closing the distance between them and pressing his mouth over Sasuke's. He ran his fingers down Naruto's pelvic muscles and Naruto emitted a little noise that made Sasuke smile against his lips. Naruto trailed kisses dotingly from Sasuke's temple, to the pulse point at the base of his throat; his touch light and feathery making Sasuke flush and tangle his fingers in Naruto's hair.

There was an abrupt banging downstairs.

"Ignore it," Naruto whispered breathlessly against Sasuke's collar bone.

"Where is he!?" _That voice._

Sasuke vaulted up, headbutting Naruto as he went.

"Jesus, Sasuke!" Naruto yelped, rubbing his forehead ruefully as Sasuke stared at Naruto's bedroom door, alert and upright like a meerkat. He listened to the voices for a few seconds longer.

"My brother's here," he said shortly, rolling out from under Naruto.

"Itachi's here?" Naruto was shouting as Sasuke hurried from the bedroom.

When he arrived in the kitchen, it was to find a collision of the worst kind, the gathering he'd hoped he wouldn't have to face for years to come: the gathering of both his and Naruto's family in one, confined space. Kushina was stood by the cooker looking dangerously stern as she watched Itachi's every move. Itachi himself looked wild eyed and dishevelled. Behind him was Izumi, stood in her pyjamas and a fluffy grey cardigan looking terrified. Minato was dithering between his wife and Sasuke's family, clearly torn between playing peace keeper, and standing resolutely beside his wife.

"Sasuke!" Itachi choked when he saw him, taking a hurried step in his direction, but Sasuke held a warning hand up and Itachi stopped dead.

"Where were you?" Sasuke demanded, "Where were you?"

"I was…I was in bed," Itachi told him edgily looking panicked.

"Don't lie!" Sasuke barked harshly, "I know that you were rejecting mine and the hospital's calls, so where we you at one in the morning!?" He shouted, shaking with rage.

Itachi swallowed and glanced over his shoulder at Izumi, whose eyes were awash with despair.

"I was out," was all the explanation he offered.

"OUT!?" Sasuke exploded, "what a fantastically vague answer, what, out for a moonlit stroll _out_ , or out gunning down panda bears _out_? There's lots of ways you can be out, Itachi!" He snapped and Itachi flinched.

"Sasuke, I didn't know you were going to be in an accident…"

"I wasn't in an accident," Sasuke snarled and everybody, including Minato and Kushina turned to look at him in confusion. "This," he gestured to his shoulder, "it wasn't an accident."

"I don't understand," Itachi frowned.

"I was attacked, because I'm seeing another guy; it was a homophobic attack, not an accident." Sasuke muttered, fiddling limply with his dressing.

There was silence in the room and then an eruption of sound from everybody: they had to call the police, they needed names, why hadn't Sasuke said something sooner?

"Mum, dad, be quiet for a minute," Naruto murmured, arriving in the kitchen and crossing to stand between his outraged parents.

"Itachi," Sasuke began, "you weren't there," he locked eyes with his brother, "you weren't there when I needed you to be. You can't just jump in now, I'm not some virtual pet you can drop in on now and again." He paused for breath. "I want you gone."

"Sasuke…"

"Get out! I want you out!" He cried and Itachi jumped.

"You need to go," Kushina interjected, her eyes fixed on Itachi like a mother bear worried about a predator. For a moment, Itachi didn't move and then slowly, very slowly, he began to walk away.

 _And then he was gone._

 _He did as Sasuke asked, and left him…_

* * *

 _Boo hiss Itachi! Hope you enoyed, please review! x_


	8. Chapter 8: Galapagos

Hellooo lovelies!

Chapter 8! YASSS!

I'm back from doing that family visit thaaang, so let the updates re-commence!

This chapter's not overtly long or explosive - but it's a lead in chapter *thumbs up* and it's from Naruto's point of view, yay!

Thank you for your follows, favourite, and beautiful reviews - you're all stunners!

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 8.

Galapagos. 

Stress, is a psychological response to feeling overwhelmed. The reason we often feel this way, is because we perceive ourselves as inadequate and lacking, when it comes to dealing with crisis and colossal life-events. Perhaps, if we learnt to accept ourselves as we are, and came to realise that we are exactly _good enough_ ; our worlds might just open up.

The truth is, we are all good enough in our own way, we're all here for a reason and we all have something to offer. However, human nature squashes that knowledge out of us, and sometimes we need somebody to remind us…

Naruto balanced his iPad on his lap, using a stylus to hash out a rough sketch. He had less than a week to compile his new portfolio and still he was drawing mental blanks. Blowing out a frustrated breath that whistled through his front teeth, Naruto glanced down at the slumbering figure beside him.

 _Sasuke._ Beautiful, lovely, Sasuke. His hair was damp with sweat and spread out in convoluting wisps the colour of calla lilies all over Naruto's apricot pillowcase. His perfectly modelled lips, flushed the colour of a seashell's aperture, were slightly parted. Dark eyelashes casting feathery crescents over hollow, flawlessly sculpted cheeks, his skin as pearly as the wings of Uriel.

Naruto could try and sketch Sasuke as many times as he liked for the rest of his life, and he would never get it right. Sasuke wasn't composed of regular angles and curvatures like the rest of humanity, his wasn't a colour pallet you could mix. He was crafted, from the nib of some empyrean quill and he couldn't be replicated. _He was an original_.

Naruto watched as he stirred, maundering softly in his sleep and as he rolled his shoulder was thrown into full relief. Naruto's chest constricted as his eyes fell upon the large bandage. He hated that when he saw that bandage he wasn't just angry, angry that somebody had so brutally laid hands upon his boyfriend; but he was scared too. It made him feel all twisted up inside and one inch tall. How could he be afraid of somebody with such a small, and weak mind as Kankuro?

 _But it was the small and weak minds that scared him the most…_

They were all out there. Since when did it become custom for bullies to become the bolstered majority, and for those who chose love, to become the assailable minority?

Something glinted against the downy white of Sasuke's bandage: the promise ring Naruto had given him, threaded on its silver chain. Naruto smiled, watching the ring rise and fall with every ascent and descent of Sasuke's chest as he breathed peaceably.

 _It was all worth it, the fear, the dislike, it was all worth it; for him._

* * *

"How long have you been going at that for?" Sasuke woke up at elven, looking very much like he could've done with several more hours sleep.

"Since six," Naruto told him, scrubbing out a line on his iPad screen with the reverse end of his stylus.

"This for your portfolio?" Sasuke inquired with a huge yawn.

"Yep."

"Good," Sasuke gave an approving nod; he was always so hot on academics. Naruto frequently turned up at lectures with several of Sasuke's revision post-sticks stuck to his back, or trailing along on the sole of his shoe like toilet roll. "So, what're you drawing?" Sasuke rolled over like a caterpillar, coming to rest on his stomach and peering over Naruto's arm at his drawing.

"So, we're going for ninjas today, are we?" Sasuke glanced up at Naruto, curling his fingers around his chin, his gaze assessing.

"No good?" Naruto frowned, feeling uneasy.

"You're an animation student, so are you gonna animate it?" Sasuke queried, glancing down at Naruto's rugged sketch.

"That was the plan," Naruto nodded, watching Sasuke's face closely.

"Then I say stick with this one, okay?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Naruto, and Naruto knew what that translated as: _don't start this project, then have another brilliant idea halfway through, start the new idea and then run out of time before your deadline._

"Okay – thanks," Naruto said, with a sense of relief and laid his iPad aside. "How's your shoulder?" He asked gently and Sasuke screwed his face up.

"I could do with knocking some ibroprofen back but…" Then something strange happened. The muscles in Sasuke's jaw went slack and his sloe eyes went misty. Naruto watched, feeling hyper-alert, as Sasuke's eyelashes began to twitch and flutter unnaturally and his fingers spasmed in the bedsheet.

"Sorry," He said abruptly, twenty-seconds later, looking as he always did after an absence seizure, embarrassed and annoyed.

"What for?" Naruto asked vaguely, pretending as though he hadn't seen anything.

"For…" But then it happened all over again.

Sasuke hadn't had a full-blown tonic clonic seizure for two years, since his stint on MXE, and what a stint that had been. Naruto could still recall what a desultory wreck had turned up in Sasuke's place to their first GCSE. However, just because he hadn't had a full-blown seizure, it didn't mean that they weren't constantly alert. One seizure was all it took to change a person's life forever, and they knew that.

"Ah! Sorry!" Sasuke shouted in frustration, sitting up and grasping his head, looking furious.

"Don't say sorry, just calm down," Naruto urged, holding out a hand and placing it on Sasuke's unsteady wrist. "Just calm down and wait for it to pass."

That was all they ever could do; close their eyes and wait. There was no cure for epilepsy, there was only tactics for management, and when they began to fail them, they were completely on their own…

* * *

"So, I've been thinking," Naruto grinned down at Sasuke, who had finally returned to full cognitive stability at one in the afternoon.

"Always a hazard," Sasuke eyed him shrewdly.

"Just hear me out," Naruto ordered, hurling a clean t-shirt at a dubious looking Sasuke. "Next year, let's not come back here. In fact, after Christmas, let's never come back here again." Naruto said in a breathy rush.

Sasuke pulled the t-shirt off his head and fixed Naruto with a perplexed frown.

"Huh?"

"So, let's get Christmas over and done with. Then, the next holiday we've got, is after we graduate, well, let's just not come back," Naruto suggested with an excitable grin and a shrug.

Sasuke was still frowning as he turned the t-shirt Naruto had given him the right way out, and then pulled it over his head.

"Don't come back here ever?" He said slowly.

"Exactly," Naruto nodded.

"Your parents…"

"Can come to us." Sasuke stared at Naruto, who could see the cogs of sensibility – the worst part of Sasuke – whirring in his brain behind his eyes.

"Where would we go, though?" He shook his head, already shaking the idea off.

"I dunno, travelling; I hear the Galapagos is unbeatable for tortoises," Naruto tried to sound tempting, but the frown lines between Sasuke's brown only deepened.

"You want to throw caution to the wind, up and leave everything we know – for tortoises?" He looked bewildered and Naruto rolled his eyes.

"You've missed the point, it's not just the tortoises, they're a mere bonus. Just think, the world is so fucking big Sasuke and we've only seen this tiny shitty little corner of it."

"Hey, Knebworth's only up the road – _and Led Zepplin played there_!" Sasuke countered looking stung.

"Yeah, so did Robbie Williams, they ain't picky, Sasuke. Come on," he knelt on the floor in front of Sasuke and gripped both of his hands. "Let's get out of here." He whispered, tracing his thumbs over Sasuke's warm palms.

 _He needed Sasuke to say yes._

 _He needed Sasuke to leave this town._

 _This place was no good for Sasuke; every time they came back, more of its poison sunk in and changed him._

"I'll think about it," Sasuke nodded, his gaze unreadable as he withdrew his fingers from Naruto's. "Right now, I need to get over to Sakura's."

"Sakura's?" Naruto cocked his head, puzzled as Sasuke slid off the bed.

"Yeah, I just need to sort something out with her quick," he mumbled evasively.

"Like what?" Naruto pressed from the floor, watching Sasuke fumble for a clean pair of socks.

"Nothing important," he dismissed without meeting Naruto's eyes.

 _Lie. He was lying._

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's nothing."

 _Lie!_

 _Didn't Sasuke know, that Naruto could see right through him?_

 _Why was he lying? What was he up to at Sakura's?_

 _If he was going to Sakura's at all._

"Need me to come with you?" Naruto asked, watching as Sasuke fought his way into a sock.

"No," Sasuke said too quickly, "no, you're okay, you've got work to do."

"I don't mind…"

"No, seriously, it's fine," Sasuke insisted as he straightened up.

"Well, I'm headed over Kiba's anyway," Naruto's own lie, "so I'll walk you part you."

"You're off to Kiba's?" Sasuke looked surprised and Naruto took a savage stab of pleasure from the look on his face. Two people could play at Sasuke's lying game.

"Yeah, just thought I'd drop in…"

* * *

The walk out of White Hill was cheerful. The two boys didn't discuss moving away again, although Naruto was sure it was hanging in the back of Sasuke's head like it was in his. However, neither of them brought it up, and instead slipped back into enjoying each other's company.

"Right, I'm off this way," Sasuke jerked his thumb left at the T junction.

Naruto hesitated, dithering as he fumbled for the right words to stay: 'what are you lying about?' 'I know you're lying to me.' 'Why don't you trust me?' Anything but…

"Okay."

"See you later," Sasuke smiled sweetly, without a clue that Naruto was wise to him. Sasuke furtively glanced left and right over his shoulder, checking the coast was clear. Then, he leant in, gripping Naruto by the forearm and pressed his lips to his. Naruto met Sasuke's kiss, running his tongue against the sharp edges of Sasuke's neat teeth. Sasuke released a little huffing gasp which Naruto tasted. _This was real Sasuke, honest Sasuke, in the place where he couldn't hide and lie._

All too soon, Sasuke broke away, his engorged pupils sweeping throughout his entire iris.

"I'll see you back at yours later," he whispered, before turning to leave.

Naruto watched him go feeling cold and uneasy.

 _Why are you lying this time Sasuke? What are you doing now?_

* * *

 _Hope you enjoyed sunshines! Please review! x_


	9. Chapter 9: Mums and Dads

Hellooo beautifuls!

Chapter 9, here we goooo!

Thank you for all the reviews, favourites, and follows, you wonderful galloping unicorns!

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 9.

Mums and Dads. 

Sasuke stood on the Haruno's front lawn, he'd been stood there feeling more and more like a creep for ten minutes. The Haruno family – or what was of left of them living in this part of town – lived in what Sasuke considered a small-scale version of Burgess Crescent. If Burgess Crescent was bone china, then Sakura's street, Doveridge Lane was porcelain; meaning that the White Hill estate, was the clay slip of their echelon orientated town.

Sakura's home was a pretty, red-brick, bay and gable affair, exactly the same as every other house on Doveridge Lane. The two larch trees that bordered her drive, were both glimmering and winking with dozens of fairy lights in homage of the festive season. Sasuke remembered being eight-years-old and climbing those larch trees. Only he and Temari had reached the topmost branches; they'd had to swing down like lemurs to help Kankuro up – but they wouldn't leave him at the bottom, _he was part of their team._

Benumbing himself to thoughts of Kankuro, Sasuke sucked in a deep breath and tapped on the Haruno's front door. He didn't have to wait long, with his ankles pressed closely together and his shoulders pushed back.

"Hello…Oh, Sasuke!" Sakura looked taken aback and brightened upon seeing him stood there. "You alright, dude?" Shadows began to creep across her face, and Sasuke understood why when she spoke again. "How's your shoulder?"

"Oh – that, yeah, it's fine," Sasuke told her swivelling slightly to show her that his shoulder was still firmly attached to his body. "Just a few stitches." _Just a few hundred_.

"I'm so sorry Sasuke…Nobody's speaking to Kankuro anymore…Him and Shikamaru had this…"

"Sakura," Sasuke held his hand up between them, to silence her guilty ramblings. "It really doesn't matter, alright?" He held her confused gaze.

"Okay…"

"Right," he nodded and then took a deep breath, "you're staying at your dads this Christmas, aren't you?" He quizzed, meeting her bright, grassy gaze.

"Yeah," she nodded, leaning against the doorframe, crossing her arms and legs as she studied him curiously. "Why?"

"And he lives down in Hertfordshire, right?" Sasuke strained to remember Mr. Haruno, and the sender address on the postcards and letters from him Sakura had brought into show and tell when they were kids.

"That's right," she confirmed, looking ever more suspicious.

"So, when are you getting the train up to his?" Sasuke eyed her and she looked baffled.

"Err, the twenty-third, day after tomorrow," she told him and then pursed her lips. "Sasuke, what's going…"

"Can I come with you? I won't get off at Hertfordshire – I'm going to stay on until Essex." At this, Sakura's eyes flashed with alarm.

"You're what?" She whispered, stepping out of her house and shutting the door lightly behind her.

"I need to go to Essex and you know those rail lines way better than I do," he held her stunned stare.

"Might I ask why?" She quizzed, a hand on her hip.

"You may not," Sasuke shook his head and she wafted her hands at him in a shooing motion.

"Well then, piss off my front lawn, Sasuke. There's no way I'd let you go swanning round Essex on your own, I'd definitely come all the way with you, but I'd want to know why we're going." She told him firmly and Sasuke grit his teeth.

"Sakura," he snarled.

" _Sasuke_ ," she mimicked him in a ridiculing tone.

"You don't have to come all the way with me! I just need to get to Essex!" He snapped and Sakura snorted derisively.

"Oh yeah, you'll get there and then what?" She challenged, "walk around aimlessly in circles for hours until somebody calls Itachi to come and pick you up – and judging by the fact you're on my doorstep, I'm guessing this a top secret, no Itachi, mission?" She arched an eyebrow at him, and there was a pause before Sasuke blew out a sigh.

"Fine," he shook his head impatiently, " _Fine!_ But you can't tell anyone, not even Naruto," Sasuke warned and Sakura straightened up, drawing her neatly filed nails over her chest in a 'cross my heart,' salute. "That's where my parents are, I think, in Essex – so, I'm going to find them." He explained in a would-be-casual voice, but deliberately avoided her eyes.

"Oh, Sasuke," she said softly.

"Yeah, so, will you come?" He asked quickly, in a brusque tone that didn't allow for any pity.

Sakura stared at him, her lips slightly parted and then she nodded.

"Of course I will, but Sasuke, what about Naruto?"

"What about him? He doesn't need to know anything about this," Sasuke said in a firm tone.

He hated lying to Naruto. It felt so cruel and particularly malicious, given everything that Naruto did and gave him. Sasuke couldn't drag Naruto down into his mess. His family were a miasmatic poison, and if anybody was exposed to them for too long, they risked infection.

"Okay, if you say so, Sasuke," Sakura agreed, sounding unsure, "I won't say anything, I promise."

* * *

On the twenty-third of December, Sasuke felt like a vortex must've ripped the fabric of time apart and swallowed him whole, only to belch him out into some parallel dimension. Because, there was no way, he'd just sat on a train for hours, navigated the busy streets of Essex; only to find that his snobbish parents, _his parents_ , were living on a council estate.

Sasuke could hardly believe it as he veered down the pavements of Longclear housing estate, taking in the built-up assembly of small and squat houses. There was a grassy verge where kids were screaming and chasing each other with reams of tinsel, a jack russell yapping at their feet. A burnt-out van, sat on bricks was parked opposite a modern looking chapel. It was strange Sasuke observed, that even though they were counties apart, everything about this estate was interchangeable with that on White Hill. The council really didn't have any kind of imagination – or any inclination to bother.

When he reached house number twenty-one, he stopped at the wooden gate. This place was everything his mother and father hated. Everything they'd rallied viciously against for years; take from the poor and give to the rich, not the other way around, that was their way. So how had they ended up here?

Moving towards the white plastic front door, Sasuke rapped on its glass pane quickly and waited. Maybe they wouldn't answer, he thought, half hopefully. Then he could go and join Sakura in the café she was waiting for him in around the corner. He couldn't control the nerves whirling around inside him, how were his parents going to receive him after all this years? Would they be pleased to see him?

He was so caught up in his own thoughts, that he didn't hear the chain on the back of the door rattle, allowing it to swing open.

"Sasuke?" Sasuke's head jerked up at the sound of the woman's voice. "Sasuke, is that you?"

What had Sasuke been expecting her to look like, unchanged? If that had been the case, then he'd been dead wrong. Mikoto Uchiha had spent years thriving off the costliest anti-aging serums available, stuffed with all sorts of vile ingredients like seagull shit and cougar vomit, all claiming to be the fountain of youth. One of them must've been working though, because now that Mikoto no longer had access to her formulas and creams, she had begun to look her age. She was wearing a washed out, lilac t-shirt, that was stretched out at the neck and missing a few sequins from the design emblazoned across the chest. _The Mikoto Sasuke remembered never wore t-shirts._

"Um," He struggled to coax his mouth to form words.

She was staring up at him with those eyes, as deep and enkindled as burnt steel. The same eyes that used to be the last thing he'd see every night, when she'd put him to bed all his life since he was a baby; before he thought he was too grown up and pushed her away. The same eyes that he'd looked into when he was being cuddled and smothered. Only to have all of that ripped away from him. _Those eyes…_

"Mum," he croaked.

"Sasuke," she said the word, like she was releasing a breath she'd been holding for years – two years to be precise. Then, she threw her arms around him, squeezing him so tightly that she pinned his forearms to his side, rendering him unable to return her embrace.

"Mum," he whispered and pressed his face into the top of her head, closing his eyes and letting himself go.

* * *

"So, after we left home," Mikoto was saying as she lead Sasuke through the house, "the council's emergency re-homing offices sent us here." She explained, seemingly unable to take her eyes off him as he looked around the place.

It was tiny, smaller than Naruto's home, and sparse. There was very little furniture, only the essentials and even fewer home comforts. An old television sat opposite a tattered, salmon pink sofa with a revolting lacey trim. On a small table, bedecked in yellowing doilies, a cluster of photographs in expensive frames – that Sasuke remembered from his own home - sat fading in the sun that poured in through the sitting room's one and only window. The photos showed his mother and father in their glory days, there were pictures of Sasuke too; school photos, holiday photos, baby photos, even one of him with his friends. There were none of Itachi. The house held no hint that there was a second Uchiha son.

"It's quite nice, once you get used to it." Mikoto was as good as Sasuke at lying: excellent, until you knew their tells. For example, she didn't meet his eyes and began to suck on her bottom lip like it was a particularly delicious hard boiled sweet. This house, this neighbourhood, was his mother and father's worst vision of hell; and they were living it.

"It looks lovely, mum," Sasuke smiled plaintively and her eyes sparkled warmly.

"Look at you, my baby," she cupped his cheek, "so big," she grinned with a real and pure joy. "I have no idea what you're doing with your life these days, Sasuke," she admitted remorsefully and Sasuke bit his lip.

"I…" The front door went, shattering the moment, and Sasuke twirled to see who it was.

"Fugaku," Mikoto didn't sound enthusiastic to see him.

Sasuke watched as his father bustled into the house leaden with bags like a pack horse.

"Six of the satnavs shifted today, and one of the mock Rollex," he blustered from the porch as he dumped his bags and shoes. "We're on our way up, Mikoto."

Sasuke turned to look questioningly at his mother, but found that her face had temporarily frozen into a stony set.

"And I've got our Kazabune bringing in forty memory foam mattress toppers," he ranted excitably.

"And how exactly are we going to pay, Kazabune?" Mikoto quizzed sternly.

"Mikoto, you just don't think like a businessman, you wouldn't understand."

Was this who his father was now? Sasuke observed with mingled horror and sympathy. This man, who was scrabbling around to flog knock-off gear, in the plight to become a millionaire again…Still believing he had that know how, refusing to let go…

"Dad?" At the word, Fugaku whipped around looking alert. His unfocused eyes fell upon Sasuke who stood awkwardly, waiting for a response.

"Sasuke?" His voice was husky with disbelief, "surely it can't be…Sasuke…"

"Hey, dad."

* * *

It had been a long time since anybody wanted to know so much about Sasuke. He was tongue-tied and couldn't find enough words to fully explain what he'd been doing for the past two years.

"I'm at university," he told them rather flatly, as they sat peering at him on the other end of the disgusting sofa, looking wide eyed and expectant. His mother gave a little shriek of delight at the noise and his father winked. "Yeah, down in Bournemouth, studying Psychology…I'm in my final year." He explained steadily.

"Is it nice there? Are they nice to you there? Do they treat you well?" His mother leant close to him, her eyes owlish.

"Yeah, it's great; the curriculum is great," he nodded and grinned. "The lecturers are really, really passionate and they think I can do really well – I mean, I am doing really well, straight firsts and everything." He was gloating, he knew he was gloating but he hadn't seen either of his parents in so long.

"Of course you're getting firsts, you are my wonder child" his mother cooed, her eyes twinkling as she pinched his cheek painlessly.

"I'm not there alone either," Sasuke added, suddenly remembering and both of his parents looked questioning. "Remember Naruto Uzamaki from back home – he's there too." Sasuke reeled off brightly. His mother looked delighted at this, his father however gave a little smirk and scoffed.

"Stretching out how long he can leach off the tax-payer then?" Sasuke stopped when his father said this, ogling him in disbelief. Fugaku lived on a council estate himself these days, he relied on the kindness of the tax payer. How could he still speak about Naruto in that way? How was his mind utterly unchanged?

"Fugaku," Mikoto warned in a low voice before turning back to Sasuke, "how is he?" She asked cheerfully.

"He's um – he's sort of engaged." 'Sort of engaged' worked as well as 'Fiancé-on-reserve.'

"To one of the girls you used to hang around with back home, or someone from uni?" Mikoto asked eagerly and Sasuke blinked.

"No, neither, to a boy." At this Fugaku spluttered behind Mikoto, making Sasuke jump.

Mikoto's face folded instantly into a scowl and when Fugaku caught sight of it, he shook his head.

"Oh, come on Mikoto; you know I don't mind them really, the gays. They can do what they like, as long as it's not my own, I don't care." But he was still laughing.

There are two types of homophobia. There's the all out, screaming, violence, unmasked type which we fight to tackle. Then there's the 'good enough for them: but not mine,' types. The people who claim they aren't homophobic, as long as homosexuality doesn't work its way into their own family.

"Oh, shut up, Fugaku," Mikoto was hissing waspishly.

Sasuke was itching at his bandage uncomfortably, just to give him something to do, to give him a sensation to ground him to the moment.

"What's that around your next, sweetheart?" Mikoto leant towards him, her pale fingers closing around the ring that hung on a chain about his neck.

"It's…" Sasuke tried to conjure a good lie, a reason as to why he'd have had a complete personality shift and started wearing jewellery.

"Is this an engagement ring?" Mikoto quizzed, inspecting the ring closely, "is this why you came to see us, Sasuke, are you getting married?" She sat up, straight as a pole, her whole frame quivering with excitement.

"Yes, but…"

"Who is she?" His father was off, craning around Mikoto, "do we know her?"

"Do we, Sasuke?" Mikoto's eyes were wide and Sasuke began to pray that the ugly salmon sofa would swallow him whole.

"Wait, I know who it is," a sharp look came of Fugaka's face, and dread dropped into Sasuke's gut like a boulder.

"Dad, I…"

"It's that Temari girl, the one you always used to sneak up to your room," he grinned wolfishly and Mikoto looked from Fugaku to Sasuke.

Sasuke sucked in a sharp breath. He loved Naruto, more than anything. The sacrifices Naruto made for him and the risks he took. He loved Naruto and he wasn't ashamed of that.

"Yes," he said in a tiny voice, "yes, it's…It's Temari."

* * *

That cliffhanger! BOO lies! - hope you enjoyed lovelies! x


	10. Chapter 10: Our Bullies

Helloooo my ethereal readers!

So chapter 10 what what!?

Sorry this chapter is a day later than usual - I posted an extra chapter in No Middle Men, Just Skinny, for those who read that story you'll see why...

Thank you for my reviews, follows, and favourites you absolute stars! I adore every single one of you!

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 10.

Our Bullies

Come Christmas eve, Sasuke was back in his guest bedroom in 'Izumi and Itachi's' house. The fetor of festive fakery was thick in the Uchiha home, as their family began to pour in. It was almost comical, Sasuke observed, how his cousins feigned blindness to the capricion of the household.

Obito and Shisui talked football with Itachi; challenging each other with playful Arsenal versus Tottenham banter. All the while ignoring Itachi's jittery behaviour, or how he kept disappearing; only to return home sunken eyed, reeking of over-sweet cherry perfume, his pockets jangling.

Rin and Mabui flustered around Izumi, gossiping about distant family and the scandals going on in their lives. Whilst they turned a blind eye to Izumi's vapid gait, ignoring as she burnt herself on the oven, and stood gazing blankly at the catalogue bought Christmas tree for hours.

"…So, I was just waiting to hear from Mumbai," Shisui was telling them about some mystifying stock market deal he wangled over their Christmas eve meal. "Then, I get a call from and old mate I did business with years ago in Sri Lanka…"

"Itachi," Izumi interrupted looking straight across the table, her eyes boring into Itachi. "That's enough." Everybody turned to look at Itachi, unable to ignore the evidence this time it seemed.

Sasuke watched his brother; he didn't seem to be doing anything particularly strange. He had a glass of the _Domaine Ramonet Montrachet Grand Cru_ , Rin and Obito had brought. He had frozen with the crystal bowl of his Bordeaux glass pressed to his lips, poised to tip the pale-honey chardonnay down his throat. Izumi however was glaring warning daggers at her partner, holding his gaze until slowly Itachi lowered his glass.

"So, Sasuke, what's going on in your life, we didn't really talk much about you the other day?" Mabui tried to distract from the obvious discomfort as Izumi snatched the wine decanter off the dining table and swept through to the kitchen.

"I…"

"You cornered Sasuke?" Itachi was watching Mabui through narrowed eyes, "I wonder what you were talking about," he muttered in a salty tone, eyeing Mabui with open dislike.

"That's enough now, Itachi," Shisui warned from beside Obito.

"Yeah, I'm good," Sasuke said in a forced voice, determined to break the tension. "I meant to tell you, I've got some news," Sasuke smiled brightly and Mabui grinned looking intrigued.

"Oh yeah?"

Sasuke slipped his hand beneath the neck of his t-shirt and looped his fingers around the cool silver chain. Sliding the necklace out he let it rest against the fabric of his shirt, where his family could admire it.

"My boyfriend gave me this – it's a sort of promise ring – when we finish university in a few months, he's going to ask me to marry him," Sasuke let the ring twirl on its chain like a pendulum, "I thought I'd say yes." He glanced up at his family and there was a pause, before his cousins began to cheer and beside him Mabui squealed.

"Ooh, Sasuke, if you need to borrow my little Kokuō and Chōmei for a fancy arrival, I'm more than happy to oblige." She gabbled.

"Don't be ridiculous Mabs, he's gonna wanna borrow my Bentley T Series," Obito winked, raising his glass and tipping it knowingly towards Sasuke.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Itachi interrupted them all.

He hadn't looked up from his plate, his palms were pressed flat on the table and his brows were drawn tightly together in the centre.

"Huh?" Sasuke looked at Itachi.

"Why didn't you tell me about you and your boyfriend?" Itachi looked up at Sasuke, his face cold with confusion.

"I dunno," Sasuke shrugged; it was the truth, he didn't know why he hadn't told Itachi. It wasn't as though he'd gone out of his way to conceal the news from his brother.

"I'm your brother, and I'm only hearing about this now," he eyed Sasuke like he didn't recognise him. "I bet Kushina and Minato know, don't they?" He pressed and Sasuke squirmed. "That's a yes, then." Itachi looked dark.

"It wasn't anything personal, Itachi," Sasuke shrugged.

"Except it was, wasn't it?" Itachi narrowed his eyes and Sasuke bit his lip, irritation stirring in the pit of his stomach.

"What do you want me to say, Itachi?" Sasuke held his brother's eye. "How am I supposed to tell you? You're never here! And what've you done to give me any indication that you'd even be interested? You don't even know anything about how I'm doing at uni!" Sasuke pointed out indignantly and Itachi scowled.

"You're always telling me what a grownup you are Sasuke – I didn't realise I had to keep tabs on you," he snapped and Sasuke made a noise of incredulity.

"It's not called keeping tabs, Itachi, it's called caring and showing an interest." Sasuke pointed out.

"I do care!" Itachi said looking astounded.

"Yeah, you were busy caring so much that you couldn't even get your arse over to the hospital when I was stabbed in that homophobic assault!" Sasuke cried, gesturing to his shoulder. Itachi paled and around them their family looked alarmed and began to share questioning looks. "Oh, I see, kept that one quiet, did you?" Sasuke cocked an eyebrow at Itachi. "Ashamed of yourself, are you? So, you've kept the assault nice and quiet." Sasuke glared at his brother.

"It was none of their business," Itachi mumbled, glancing awkwardly up at their livid family.

"Looks like they'd beg to differ," Sasuke snarled, pushing away from the table and getting to his feet, "Merry-fucking-Uchiha-Christmas," he muttered, turning away from the lot of them.

* * *

The Uzamaki's had invited Sasuke to their home not only for Christmas eve, but also Christmas day. Sasuke had declined both invitations in a blunt rush, overwhelmed by their kindness. However, given the catastrophe – that he really should've predicted – back at his own home, Sasuke really had nowhere else to go.

Drawing his parks hood up to defend against the rain, Sasuke skidded down the embankment, hoping the willows that bordered the overflowing river would provide him some cover from the storms onslaught.

As he walked, his boots sinking in the brew of wet clay, mud, and leaf mulch; his phone began to trill in his pocket.

It was Temari; he scrambled to answer – They hadn't made contact since the day of Kankuro's attack.

"Hey," she said in an odd, breathy voice, the moment he answered the phone.

"Hey," he replied, staring straight ahead – this wasn't normal, this wasn't how they started a phone call. A pause and then.

"So, how are you?"

"Yeah, fine, just walking to Naruto's; this rain is killer." Sasuke watched as a family of moorhens took cover beneath a small dam.

"Tell me about it," Temari laughed unnaturally, "Uncle Yashumaru has been fighting with the gas company all morning."

"You're at Yashamaru's?" Sasuke frowned.

"Yeah," Temari said in an odd voice.

"How come?" If she was there, why hadn't she just come across the road instead of calling him?

"Shikamaru and I, we've kind of fallen out." She explained in a strained voice.

"Oh?"

"Him and Kankuro, they had a fight; it was pretty nasty actually, Kankuro's got a broken jaw, coupled with the broken nose you gave him, he looks a proper mess." She sounded uneasy as she spoke.

"Can't say he didn't deserve it," Sasuke muttered, feeling a swell of gratitude towards Shikamaru.

"I…" Temari trailed off.

"What, you disagree?" Sasuke gasped, tearing his gaze from the river to stare sightlessly at the mud in front of him.

"That's not exactly what I mean," she said in a rush and Sasuke scowled.

"Then what do you mean Temari?" Sasuke asked hotly and he heard her inhale sharply.

"He shouldn't have done what he did; I know that. He promised before we went to Sai and Ino's that he wouldn't say or do anything…"

"Wait," Sasuke interrupted her, going cold all over, "You knew? You knew what might happen? You knew what he thought of me, and you just let it go? You let him near me?" Sasuke whispered, barely able to hear himself over the rain.

"I…I didn't know he'd do what he did Sasuke! And I don't agree with him! I don't! But he's my brother," she finished lamely and then added, "and he didn't deserve what Shikamaru did to him."

"Oh, I think he did, I think he deserved a hell of a lot more! You do realise, because of your mental brother, I'm going to have a stinking great scar for the rest of my life, Temari!? A scar that my boyfriend has to look at every day!" Sasuke ranted furiously.

"Well you would say that Sasuke, but violence wouldn't have solved this…"

"No, but it would've cheered me up immensely to see your dickhead brother have his head split open!" Sasuke bellowed and he heard Temari hiss.

"Mature as ever, Sasuke," she snapped.

"Mature! Was it mature when your brother was calling me a fag!? When he punched me? Don't be such a bloody hypocrite! You're supposed to be my best friend, and Shikamaru's wife! But you're choosing that sack of crap brother of yours over both of us!" Sasuke snarled hatefully.

"I am your best friend, Sasuke! And if you were my best friend, then you would understand!" Temari cried and Sasuke gasped incredulously; he couldn't even formulate a comeback for her. There was silence for a moment and then she finally spoke again.

"Look, Sasuke; are you going to go to the police about this? About what Kankuro did or not? Because don't forget, he was a good friend to you once," she said in a strained voice.

"What!?" Sasuke choked, "is this why've you've called? Did he get you to call me? To check that I wasn't going to the police?"

"No, No Sasuke!" Temari insisted frantically.

"No, no I'm not going to the police. So, you can tell Kankuro that. It's my Christmas present to you both." Sasuke muttered, before pulling the phone away from his ear and punching the hang-up button with all the venom he could muster.

 _There went the best friend he'd ever known…Merry Christmas Sasuke…_

* * *

"Yo," Sasuke called, using the house key the Uzamaki's had given him to let himself in. "Sorry to barge in like this, I just…"

"Sasuke!" Kushina yelled from the living room, "shut up and get in here, you're ruining my Christmas eve viewing!" Sasuke slipped his shoes off and peered around into the living room.

"Where's Naruto and Minato?" Sasuke quizzed, lowering himself onto the sofa beside Kushina, who pulled her legs back to make room for him.

"Out snatching up the bargains; on Christmas eve, they lower the prices in all the supermarkets." She winked at Sasuke, "the thrifty shopper knows these things."

The living room was even cosier than usual. All of the curtains were drawn, and the only lights that were on were the twinkling fairy-lights on the Christmas tree, the saffron glow of the electric fire, and the flickering cast by the television which was playing one of Kushina's soap operas. Beneath the tree were heaps of presents wrapped chaotically in mismatched and cheerful paper. Every surface was littered with Christmas cards; the Uzamaki's were a very popular family.

"Are you staying the night, sweetheart?" she smiled so warmly at him that Sasuke's heart gave a little squeeze.

"Yeah, if that's okay, I'll leave early so you can have Christmas together," he rambled quickly and Kushina rolled her eyes with a tutting sound.

"Don't be ridiculous Sasuke, stay the day if you want, we'd love to have you," she twinkled at him and Sasuke was horrified to feel a lump in his throat and so turned his attention quickly towards the television. "What changed your mind anyway?" She asked sweetly, "about coming here today?"

"Family row," Sasuke told her bluntly, "Itachi started an argument with me over dinner. It was stupid anyway, the whole thing's stupid, having our family over when everybody's falling apart." He laughed bitterly and shook his head.

"Is this about Izumi and Itachi?" Kushina asked in a quiet tone and Sasuke glanced at her.

"I still don't know what's going on with them – but Izumi's had some kind of breakdown, I've got Mabui warning me off my own brother, which should annoy me, but I agree with everything she said. Itachi is just the worst example of human catastrophe going." Sasuke sighed and then he bit his lip.

"Sasuke?" Kushina prompted, sounding so concerned it physically made him ache.

"Kushina," he whispered, "if I tell you something, can you keep it a secret?" He glanced up and met her eyes, "please?" She nodded quickly, shifting her whole body towards his. "I went and saw them – my mum and dad, Mikoto and Fugaku I mean. I know I shouldn't have…But I did," He explained slowly, as though the words were difficult to admit.

"Oh," was all Kushina said, wide eyed as she watched him.

"They're living in Essex now, on an estate," he told her and then swallowed hard. "I told them this huge lie, this great big lie about myself. And now I'm worried, what if by telling the lie - what if I'm as bad as the people who hate me for what I am? What if being ashamed makes me as bad as them?" Sasuke said in a rush, locking eyes with Kushina, desperate for her to give him an answer.

"Oh, Sasuke," she sighed and reached over, taking him by the forearms. "Your dad has always been the type of man who expects carbon copies of gents and ladies straight out of the fifties. I remember," she began, "when you were all little and you'd all just finished your nativity play. All of the mum's thought it'd be a bit of a laugh if we went back to Mebuki Haruno's house, just for a few drinks. Your dad wouldn't let Mikoto come with us, because Mebuki was divorced and he didn't want Mikoto getting any funny ideas." Kushina looked cross as she told her anecdote. Sasuke blinked, stunned; he'd never truly known the extent of his father's controlling behaviour. "Your father was and is an oppressor. Bullies have a way of making us feel ashamed. Because we can't escape or because we bend to their will to make life easier for ourselves."

"My dad…"

"Doesn't look like a bully, does he? They never do, but Sasuke, this shame isn't yours to feel. Who should be more ashamed; the person who lies to protect themselves? Or the person who makes them feel like they need to lie to protect themselves?" She gave him a little squeeze.

Sasuke gazed at her for a moment, and then, to his utter mortification felt the lump in his throat rise. He screwed his eyes tight shut, trying to stop his throat working. The scent of cinnamon and powdery washing detergent washed over him as Kushina enveloped him in an embrace. Although surprised, Sasuke allowed her to hold onto him and pressed his face into the crux of her shoulder, a few tears escaping him.

"You've got nothing to be ashamed about, Sasuke," she whispered, squeezing him tightly, like she was holding all his components together.

The front door went and Sasuke sprung away from Kushina, swiping his tears away hurriedly.

"The hunter gatherers have returned – oh, alright, Sasuke?" Naruto's face lit up upon seeing Sasuke. "Couldn't resist the Christmas eve Uzamaki bargain bonanza I see?" He waggled his eyebrows, shopping bags draped over every inch of him like a strange humanoid coat stand.

"You try keeping me away," Sasuke laughed thickly.

"Me and Sasuke have just been catching up on our soaps," Kushina waved the remote in the direction of the television.

"Oh Kushina, you haven't been subjecting the poor lad to that – we're supposed to be tempting him into the family, not driving him away…" Minato groaned, a caterpillar cake propped under his chin.

The best thing about the Uzamaki family, was that you could slip effortlessly into their way of life, like it had been yours all along…

* * *

"Well, it's looking a bit better, have you been picking at it though?" Naruto scrutinized a topless Sasuke's shoulder wound.

"No," Sasuke lied quickly. The truth was, much like the old splinter wound; Sasuke had been picking at the injury just to feel a stab of pain. He had unlaced a few of the stitches and watched his pale breast bone turn sanguine as blood oozed from the searing wound. It was a bad habit, Sasuke knew that. Whenever he hit a wall in his life, turning to self-mutilation, it wasn't a healthy custom. He could stop whenever he wanted to though. It wasn't like smoking or gorging on chemicals – it wasn't an addiction, was it...?

"I dunno, I reckon you'll pull off a scar," Naruto smirked, running his fingers lightly over the patch of raised skin, "very edgy; we'll have to make up a better story for how you got it though, than that prick Kankuro pushed you over and you fell flat on your arse." Naruto sighed, splaying his fingers over Sasuke's costal notches.

"He's got a broken jaw as well now," Sasuke murmured thoughtfully, contemplating Naruto's golden fingers on his own moonlight flesh.

"What!?" Naruto spluttered sounding mirthful.

"Yeah, Shikamaru lamped him by the sounds of it," Sasuke glanced up and met Naruto's gleeful gaze.

"How'd you know that?" He queried and Sasuke let out a huffing breath.

"Temari called – to check I wasn't going to call the police on Kankuro," Sasuke sucked his bottom lip and Naruto cursed.

"Isn't she supposed to be your best friend?"

"That she is," Sasuke nodded vacantly and then shrugged. "Oh well, you win some, you lose some," he smiled a very forced smile.

"Sasuke…"

"I don't wanna talk about it," he told him flatly and Naruto nodded quickly.

"Okay, how about this?" Naruto murmured and leant forwards, brushing Sasuke's lips with his own, his pressure gentle and testing.

"Much better," Sasuke smiled and kissed Naruto back.

Naruto trailed adoring kisses along Sasuke's jaw, to his ear and Sasuke laughed quietly, catching hold of Naruto's shoulders and bringing him down over him.

"You do know that I love you, don't you?" Sasuke pulled back from Naruto's impassioned advances and Naruto looked confused.

"Yeah, I love you too," he grinned, puzzled before inclining himself towards Sasuke's face again.

"No," Sasuke pressed a hand over Naruto's mouth and met his eyes, "I really need you to tell me, that you understand, that I love you," Sasuke insisted, "make me believe it." He gazed into Naruto's pupils, which were ballooning with the heat of the moment.

"I believe it, Sasuke," he smiled, wrapping a hand around Sasuke's head. "Of course I do."

"Good," Sasuke nodded as he tangled his legs with Naruto's and slid his hands down the plains of his back, "just always remember that, _no matter what_ …"

* * *

Boohoo, Sasuke on that downward spiral :'( hope you enjoyed - please review x


	11. Chapter 11: Their Pearls, Our lies

Helloooo my beautifuls!

Sorry this chapter's a day late! My lovely little Elf took me out on his day off!

Thank you for your reviews, faves, and follows; you're just the bee's knees!

Love to you all!

Chapter 11.

* * *

Their Pearls, Our Lies.

On Christmas day, Sasuke hoped that he would be able to slip back into his home undetected. However, his family were one of those families from old wealth, who always motioned out of bed at the crack of dawn and put their 'Christmas outfits on.' Naruto's family didn't dress up for Christmas, Sasuke thought enviously, they stayed in their pyjamas – they needn't dress up in front of their family like they were a gaggle of potential clients in need of impressing.

"You're home then," Rin's voice startled Sasuke as he slipped his shoes off by the front door.

"Yeah," he looked up at her guiltily, she was wearing a pale rust coloured flapper dress, looking stern as she fussed over a vase filled with ponsettia.

"We were worried about you," she told him, staring down into the crimson bouquet.

"No need, I was at my boyfriends, just waiting for things to settle," Sasuke shrugged, casting his keys into the bowl on the side table. Rin's eyes lingered on the faded Kasabian t-shirt hanging off Sasuke beneath his parka, he glanced down at himself and then averted his eyes quickly. If there was one part of doing the walk of shame that Sasuke hated, it was coming home in someone else's clothes, because then everybody knew what you'd been up to the night before; everybody knew that at some point your own clothes had come off. "I think I'll go grab a shower and get dressed, I'll be down after that," Sasuke mumbled, hurrying past Rin and holding his parka close over the t-shirt as he went.

* * *

"Hi, sorry I'm late," Sasuke panted, jogging into the living room where the rest of his family had gathered; like bees to a hive. Sasuke's 'Christmas outfit,' had to be the laziest of his entire family, he observed. He'd thrown on a dark, V neck cashmere jumper that his mother had bought him years ago to wear to university interviews over the top of a powder blue shirt, and coupled the two with his least holey jeans. Whereas, the rest of his family looked ready for an audience with the queen, all glittering and shimmering like exotic birds.

"Not to worry, Sasuke," Mabui beckoned him to a place on the floor beside her, "We're all still waiting for Shisui to stop waging war against global warming – apparently, it's gone too far this time, robbing us of snow at Christmas, never mind all the polar bears that have lost their homes," she rolled her eyes and grinned fondly up at her husband, who poked his tongue out at her.

"You'll be sorry, Mabs," he sniffed and she chuckled.

"I'm sure I will, Shisui, but I don't think I giant parasol over the North of England would quite do the trick, like you're suggesting." She pinched his cheek and he batted her away with a grin.

"Here, just take a present and shut up," he snapped, clouting her around the head with a box wrapped in pristine gold paper. How was it that all of their wrapping paper matched? Did their family correspond and agree to coordinate? Couldn't they bear to be like the Uzamaki's and live in their explosion of chaotic colour? Was it in case that much disorder gave them _funny ideas, original ideas?_

Sasuke unwrapped a plethora of ludicrously expensive clothes from his cousin's, and thanked them all politely. If he'd been part of any of his friend's families, maybe he would've gushed excitably over the gifts, or even hugged his family; but that wasn't how they functioned in the Uchiha household. He might get away with a _half-human_ reaction from Shisui and Mabui, that was entirely down to Mabui however.

"What's this?" Mabui was rattling a small gift from a twitchy looking Shisui.

"Just open it, Mabs," he mumbled and she pursed her lips at him.

"Goddamn Shisui, I swear if it's another pair of toenail clippers or something revolting, I will leave you," she narrowed her eyes at him as she tore the paper off revealing a small plum velvet box. "Don't be fooled," she muttered to Sasuke, "he gave me a facial hair bleaching kit last year, hidden in a Jimmy Choo shoe box." She cast Shisui a filthy look and then opened the box. A huge round diamond, with a crown of smaller diamonds and pearls, sat on a rose gold band rested against a lavender silk cushion. A ring. _The ring_. "Well," Mabui began sounding hoarse, "that's not toenail clippers."

"Yeah, that shocked you, didn't it?" Shisui laughed nervously, studying Mabui's face closely. "So, will you?" He floundered, "you know, marry me?" Mabui blinked and then looked up at Shisui.

"Yeah…I mean, yes," they both looked like they'd just been doused in icy water: utterly stunned.

From the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw Izumi get to her feet and slip away to the kitchen.

* * *

"Iz," Sasuke admired Izumi's slight back, her shoulder's working as she slammed dishes about in the sink with much more force than they required. "Iz, what's going on?" His eyes followed her as she snatched for a tea towel, looking ghostly in the lightless kitchen. "Were you hoping Itachi would propose to you or something?" He quizzed and Izumi let out a high pitched, hysterical laugh.

"Marry your brother? Don't make me laugh, Sasuke!" She snapped, dropping a plate into the sink with such vehemence that it split right down the centre. "Oh, for God's sake!" She cried, and Sasuke sprung forwards to retrieve the porcelain shards from the soapy water before Izumi had a chance to injure herself on them.

"Then what – what is it, is it something to do with his drinking?" Sasuke struggled for inspiration.

"I wish, I fucking wish it was that simple, Sasuke, I really do!" She said in a thick voice. "But it never is, with Itachi, is it? It's either all or nothing isn't it?" Sasuke stared at Izumi helplessly as her throat began to work and she pinned herself against the work surfaces, gripping them so hard her fingers went raw; like the formica tops were anchoring her.

"Then what? What would make Itachi…"

"We were going to have a baby," She whispered, closing her eyes, "we thought we were going to have a baby." She opened her eyes looking dark. "But, I lost it, I had something called an ectopic pregnancy. We thought we could cope – thought we could just try again; but as luck would go three months later I was in hospital with chronic pelvic pain…"

"I thought you were in hospital to have your wisdom teeth removed?" Sasuke asked in a tremulous whisper.

"We lied to you Sasuke, we lied, because as fate would have it, I've got endometritis and can't have babies." She gave an unnatural crow of manic laughter.

"Izumi," Sasuke whispered, watching her crumble before his very eyes. "Why didn't…"

"Why didn't we tell you?" She asked shakily. "You're all that way away in Bournemouth most of the time, Sasuke," she explained in a quaking little voice.

"Iz," Sasuke shook his head in disbelief and then caught hold of her shoulder, "don't be a twat." He murmured as he pulled her against him; one hand on the back of her head the other grasping the midpoint of her spine. He could feel her shaking beneath his hold, and in that moment, he despised his brother. He couldn't blame his brother for Izumi's inability to have children, but he could blame him for Izumi's loneliness. "It'll be okay, Iz," he whispered into her crown.

"Maybe I chose the wrong brother," Izumi sniffed thickly into Sasuke's front and he pulled a face down at her.

"You're about seven years too old and barking up the wrong tree; I'll be engaged to a boy in a few months, Iz, your counterparts just aren't for me, I'm afraid." Sasuke smiled sadly, swiping a few tears from her cheeks. "You make one hell of a fine honorary-sister though," he smiled, patting her cheek and she emitted a watery little chuckle.

"Thanks, Sasuke," she whispered…

* * *

In a selfish way, Sasuke was glad when the Christmas holidays ended and he could return to university. His holiday had been so packed with unpleasantness, that he'd completely neglected his dissertation. This meant that he was spending hours in the university library, pouring over fusty old texts, or gazing at a glaring screen until his seizures became so disarming he had to stop. Some nights he didn't even get home, and simply crashed and burnt in the commuter's lounge, and had to sprint to his lectures wearing yesterday's clothes, stinking of whoever's body had slept on the lounge sofa before him.

One good thing had come of their return though; Naruto's proposal had been given the go ahead, much to their utter relief.

On his way back to the maisonette, Sasuke had stopped off to pick up Chinese food. They were surviving off more and more takeaways these days. The idea of cooking piled on top of all the work they were doing towards their final projects, was like the final kilo that finished Buckaroo off.

"Yo, dude, I'm home," Sasuke called as he managed to stagger through the front door. "You won't believe who I passed on the way back from the library…" He said as he slipped his jacket off with some difficulty, given the amount of food he was carrying.

The he paused, there were an unfamiliar set of two pairs of shoes, and two coats neatly placed by the door. They were too dated to belong to a fellow student, had their landlord dropped by with his wife? Sasuke began to panic, they hadn't yet filled the hole in the wall that Jugo had caused playing swingball indoors.

Sasuke deposited the Chinese food quickly on the floor and hurried through into the living room. It wasn't their landlord however.

"Sasuke!" Mikoto Uchiha beamed from her position on the sofa.

"Mum…Dad," Sasuke said in a strangled voice of utter surprise, spying his father beside his mother. "What're you…"

He caught sight of Naruto, squashed against the arm of the sofa, apparently trying to put a polite distance between Sasuke's father and himself.

Suddenly it hit Sasuke:

 _The lie_. No. _The lie_! THE LIE! The lie about Temari! _No, No, No_! Naruto couldn't know!

As Sasuke met Naruto's dark, hollow gaze though, he realised it was too late, _Naruto already knew…_

* * *

 _*GASP* ...Hope you enjoyed, please review x_


	12. Chapter 12: Leave

Helloo starlettes!

Chapter 12 yasssss!

Thank you for all your angelic reviews, faves, and follows!

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 12.

Leave.

Given time, Sasuke was sure he would've done one of two things. Either, he would've come clean to his parents about his false engagement. Or, he would've confessed to Naruto about his lying. It seemed fate hadn't deigned him deserving of that time however, and made the choice for him.

Sasuke stood statuesque in the living room of his students digs, staring at his parents and Naruto, who all stared back at him like an expectant audience.

"We've just been admiring all of Naruto's fabulous sculptures," Mikoto beamed, gesturing around the room, at the veritable graveyard of armatures sagging with wet clay. "They're very, um, interesting," she commented, impressively maintaining her bright tone as her eyes lingered on a half horse, half human goblin Naruto had sculpted and then hidden in one of their plant pots.

"We were discussing your up and coming nuptials, Sasuke," Naruto met Sasuke eyes, draining any hope that Sasuke still had that his lie had been kept a secret. "To Temari." Although Naruto was smiling along with Sasuke's parents, his eyes were untouched by the expression. They were more tenebrous than Sasuke had ever seen them, their usually cornflower irises, resembled instead the concentric point of a whirlpool. He had put that darkness there, Sasuke had brought that blight to Naruto's eyes.

Sasuke wanted to say he was sorry, to grovel and try to explain himself; but with his parents there, it wasn't possible.

"Why're you here?" He asked his mother and father, tearing his gaze from Naruto.

His parents looked taken aback by his less than warm welcome, but recovered quickly.

"We came to see you Sasuke."

Why was it, when he needed them, his parents were nowhere to be seen? But the second he needed them to be anywhere else but near him, they showed up?

* * *

Sasuke toured his parents around the university campus. Naruto left them, making an excuse about needing to go to the animation workshop; Sasuke knew this was an excuse, where was he really going? His mother was so blown away by everything in the university, it was refreshing just to watch her. His father however was severely underwhelmed by everything, from the IT suite's software, to the vending machines in the corridors.

"I'm just saying, what kind of poncey vending machine serves flapjacks?" Fugaku was still chuntering on the way back to Sasuke's home.

"Oh, shut up, Fugaku!" Mikoto took Sasuke aback by snapping at his father.

"It's for students with early morning lectures, dad, so they can grab something to eat." Sasuke explained, hovering on his doorstep. The street lamps up and down his road had come to life, casting an amber pathway along all the drives. "Do you think you'll be back?" Sasuke quizzed, his eyes lingering on his mother, not his father.

"I should hope so – if you'll have us?" She eyed him with a painfully self-depreciating anxiety.

 _It's not you, mum_. Sasuke wanted to say. _It's not you I'm worried about._

"Sure," he nodded and her face brightened.

"And you've got enough tablets?" She asked, following Fugaku out into the street.

"Yeah, mum," Sasuke lied; he hadn't renewed his prescription of mood stabilisers, he hadn't had the time.

"And your student loan is enough, is it?" She was shouting over her shoulder as Fugaku dragged her away.

"Yes!" Sasuke called.

"…I love you, Sasuke!" She hollered and Sasuke smiled.

"Yeah, love you too mum," he muttered, one hand already resting on the door handle.

* * *

When Sasuke traipsed into his living room, feeling like a sheepish dog that was about to get a lashing with a belt; he was stunned to find the house deserted. He knew Naruto had said he was going to the workshop, but he hadn't expected him to actually go…

It became abundantly clear to Sasuke, when the clock above their television hit midnight, that Naruto wasn't at the workshop – which locked its doors at six. Sasuke stared at the clock, watching its thin handle's jerk around the clock-face. He jerked like that sometimes, when he seized, but never with quite such impeccable timing.

His arms were itching badly, they'd begun to itch towards the end of the Christmas holiday, but he'd managed to block out the niggling sensation with serums for eczema and sunburn. They'd stopped working though, and when he rolled his sleeves back he saw that the wounds he'd chased into his skin looked angry and inflamed. He touched the back of his hand to the puffy flesh, wincing as he did so, and withdrew with a hiss when he felt how hot they were.

He took a deep breath and pressed his face into the crook of his arm, drawing his legs up onto the sofa as his head began to spin. _You couldn't go to the doctor for a few scabs_ , he told himself. Even if those scabs were making you feel sick, or making you empty packs of codeine by the box, or if you felt so lightheaded you couldn't keep your neck up; it just wasn't okay to go to the doctor for a scab.

Not this kind of scab anyway. Because then they'd know what Sasuke had been doing. Sasuke wasn't stupid, he knew what this was, he knew what they called this; self-harm. The second a doctor got a whiff of Sasuke's behaviour, he'd be on an increased dose of sertraline and poised before a counsellor before he could even pause for breath. That was the way medical professionals worked, they needed to fix you, and Sasuke wasn't sure he was ready to be fixed. When you began the resolution process you had to reflect upon yourself, look at yourself; not just the good parts, but the bits that you really didn't like. And Sasuke didn't think he was ready to face up to himself yet.

At one in the morning the door went behind Sasuke and he bolted upright. Naruto breezed in, his expression blank, his clothes giving off the stench of cold night air.

"You're back," Sasuke observed nervously. Naruto only stole a single glance in Sasuke's direction, before gliding briskly in the direction of their bedroom.

Sasuke rolled off the sofa and hurried after him.

"Naruto, wait!" He reached out but Naruto dodged his hand. "What are you doing?" Sasuke eyed the bag Naruto was dragging from beneath their bed, the bag he'd bought his stuff to uni in.

"So, when's the big day?" Naruto asked, his tone crisp and astringent.

"What?" Sasuke shook his head in confusion, desperation rising in him as he watched Naruto stuff his clothes in a bag.

"You and Temari," he whirled to face Sasuke, "you know, your wife-to-be." He met Sasuke's eyes, his own pair stony.

"Naruto that was…You don't understand," Sasuke shook his head frantically.

"Don't I?" Naruto gave a barking, caustic laugh and turned back to his bag. "You told your parents you were marrying someone else, Sasuke!" Naruto stared incredulously at Sasuke. "How can you not see how enormously fucked up that is?"

"I do!" Sasuke said quickly, "I just…" He glanced around, as though hoping the right words would drop from thin air.

"Did you cheat on me?" Naruto asked and when Sasuke looked at him, he found his face smooth and serious.

"What?" Sasuke gasped, "how can you even ask me that?"

"You see, that's what I would've said too, but that was before. On Christmas eve, you said you were going shopping with Izumi, but I know you really went somewhere with Sakura. Sakura won't tell me where you two went. I didn't bring it up with you, because I trusted you, I trusted that even if you were lying, there was no way you'd tell a lie that was so vindictive that it'd hurt me. But now I know that isn't true, is it?" Naruto shouted, throwing his bag down and Sasuke flinched away from him.

"Naruto, I wouldn't!"

"How can I trust you?" Naruto cried and Sasuke shook his head, his eyes burning.

"No! No, you don't get to do that!" Naruto barked warningly, pointing at the tears threatening in Sasuke's eyes. "You've fucked us up with your lies, Sasuke." Naruto choked, his own eyes shining.

"I haven't…You just need to let me explain!" But Naruto's fingers were at the base of Sasuke's throat, and for one wild moment, Sasuke thought Naruto was drawing him in for a kiss. He couldn't have been further from the truth; Naruto snatched the necklace from around Sasuke's neck with such force that the silver chain snapped with a keening sound.

"What're you doing?" Sasuke gasped, pressing his palm to the point where moments before his ring had hung.

"You broke us, Sasuke," Naruto shook his head, a nacre tear rolling down his tan cheek.

"No! You said, Naruto; you said we were beyond that, that you weren't ever going to leave!" Sasuke gasped in horror, feeling his walls closing in.

"That's when I thought, Sasuke," Naruto began, "that you loved me, as much as I loved you."

 _Loved_. Not _love_. Past tense. Sasuke felt like all of the skin of his frame was twisting until it was becoming too tight on his bones. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, he could barely breathe, as Naruto picked up his bag and pushed past him.

 _Naruto had left him…_

* * *

 _Boohoo :( hope you enjoyed... Please review!_


	13. Chapter 13: Violets and White Chocolate

Helloooo hunnies!

Chapter 13, wooooo! Excitement!

Thank you for all your reviews, faves, and follows – MUCH LOVE!

Hope you enjoy x

* * *

Chapter 13.

Violets and White Chocolate.

When Naruto woke up, it wasn't to a smell he knew. The over candied fragrance wasn't one that he would pick out in a crowd, and that's how he knew that something was amiss. The pilling cotton of the duvet, smelt like violets and white chocolate; it smelt like the perfume gushed at the nape of a girl's throat. It was then that Naruto remembered where he was.

He had shown up at Konohamaru's the previous night, angry and upset, looking for a place to stay. Konohamaru had offered him his flatmate Moegi's bed whilst she was absent on a field trip. Then, with awful realisation, the remembrance of why he'd shown up at Konahamaru's came crashing down over him.

 _He'd left Sasuke. Him and Sasuke were over._ It was truly terrifying how you could have this whole future mapped out, planned so vividly, and believe it utterly unshakeable; only to have it wiped entirely in one night. It was like everything, every promise they'd made, every plan, every dream, every touch, and risk they'd taken – it'd all been drawn up on an Etcher Sketch, and someone, _Sasuke_ , had shaken that Etcher Sketch, and erased everything.

Naruto turned his face into Moegi's pink gingham pillow case and screwed his eyes tight shut; he was just going to have to find a way to except, Sasuke had never been who Naruto had thought he was…

* * *

Two weeks later, Naruto was just leaving one of the practical workshops after constructing a box-mould for one of his sculptures. All the lengths of MDF he'd cut up were uneven, and he'd been able to keep the bansaw blade steady on the lines he'd ruled on the materials. His work just wasn't good enough anymore. He felt tired and directionless. Stumbling from one hour to the next sightlessly.

"Naruto?" He stopped outside one of the biggest lecture halls which was inexplicably crowed, even for a Wednesday afternoon – the midweek lecture at a reasonable enough time when students acknowledged they better start dragging themselves to university.

Naruto faltered, holding his shitty box mould close to his chest to stop it getting jostled by the waves of strangely grim faced and sick looking students. He looked around and caught sight of a crop of ginger hair, standing at least a head taller than the rest of the crowd.

"Jugo?" Naruto wove through the throng until he came face to face with Jugo, who had armfuls of paperwork.

"Hey dude," Jugo said in that tone somewhere between stern and sympathising that said: _'I'm sorry about the breakup – but I am taking sides and that's Sasuke's.'_ For one horrible moment, Naruto worried that Jugo was going to press him about the rent for the maisonette. "You alright?" Jugo quizzed, shifting his wait.

"Fine," Naruto lied, and it sounded like a lie. "You?"

"Still feeling a bit queasy from that exam, but I reckon I passed with at least a 2:2," he shrugged with a lopsided grin.

Naruto felt his stomach drop, he'd completely lost track of the dates in his jaded state. Today must be Sasuke's first exam.

"Oh, well done." Was all Naruto said.

"I'm just waiting for misery guts now," Jugo laughed sheepishly.

Of course, because Sasuke was epileptic he got that precious extra time in exams.

"Oh," Naruto wasn't sure what kind of response Jugo wanted – and by the look on Jugo's face, he realised that Jugo regretted bringing Sasuke up too.

"So, you all right at your mates?" Jugo queried awkwardly and Naruto nodded jerkily. "Good, you know you can still come back and…" He was interrupted however, when Sasuke appeared, scrolling through his phone looking irate so that he didn't even see Naruto.

"The last question," he was muttering acidly and Jugo laughed.

"Oh yeah, they sprung that."

"Sprung it!" Sasuke hissed, "that was tactical torture," he snapped.

Naruto seized upon Sasuke's distraction to admire him, he looked different. Every item of clothing draped over his sylphlike frame was new and unmistakably designer – evidently the haul his disgustingly wealthy family had thrown at him in place of affection at Christmas. There wasn't a single item of clothing stolen from Naruto, not even a pair of socks, or the waistband of his boxer shorts creeping over the top of his low-slung jeans gave the faintest hint to Naruto's existence. Sasuke had always, _always_ stolen clothes off Naruto, even though Naruto's were far cheaper than Sasuke's by comparison – he wore them like a talisman. Stood before him now though, Naruto only thought that Sasuke looked like a spoiled rich kid, peacocking in his expensive clothes.

Naruto might've hated Sasuke at that moment. However, he caught a glimpse of Sasuke's face illuminated by the light of his phone. He remembered how Sasuke had looked when he had been jittering and falling apart on his MXE trip. He remembered how Sasuke hadn't truly been present behind his eyes, as the existence behind them seemed to split and fall apart like crumbling islands. There had been this lavender bruise under his eyes then as well, and his lips had looked saw like they could break apart and bleed at any given moment.

He wanted to reach out to Sasuke. To touch his arm, brush his cheek, to tell him it'd be okay. He stopped himself – that wasn't his place anymore. Sasuke was none of his business.

As though scenting his name in Naruto's thoughts, Sasuke looked up at him.

If 'No.' Had been an expression, then that was what Sasuke's face folded into. It seemed every feature of Sasuke's countenance recast itself to reject Naruto. His gaze lasted on Naruto for a few more seconds, before he collected his exam paperwork more safely beneath his arm, and stalked off.

Both Jugo and Naruto watched him go.

"On second thoughts," Naruto began slowly, "don't come round."

* * *

Naruto Sat cross legged on Moegi's bed, scowling at a heap of lipsticks and empty bottles of foundation. This wasn't his bedroom, there wasn't an incline of his identity anywhere in this room accept for his body.

"Fucking Sasuke," he groaned, running his hands over his face.

He wanted to hate Sasuke. He hated the shitty things Sasuke had done, that he knew. He couldn't hate Sasuke though, and he knew if he did, that would make everything a hundred times easier. Because, things were so much harder when you still loved the person; when you wanted to go running back to them and resented yourself for not allowing it.

His phone began to buzz from on top of Moegi's duvet and he reached for it; he'd given up that it'd be Sasuke trying to establish contact. It was his mother, trying to Facetime him.

"You've worked out Facetime then – sort of," Naruto sighed when he answered and received nothing but a plain of the underside of Kushina's jaw.

"Can you see me?" She bellowed.

Once Naruto had spent half an hour teaching his mother not to shriek into the microphone or press her nose to the lens, he sat back and waited for her to speak.

"So, how's university going?" She quizzed through a mouthful of shortbread.

"Yep," was all Naruto answered and Kushina's eyebrows drew together.

"Not very talkative? How's Sasuke?"

"Actually…" Naruto began, feeling his heart pounding in his chest, "we broke up." He heard the clang of the biscuit tin, followed by a prompt curse word from his mother. "Mum!"

"Why?" She spluttered, sweeping crumbs off herself, looking indignant.

Naruto took a deep breath before launching into the story of Sasuke's betrayal and deception.

"So, Sasuke was an arse after all. Just a spoilt little rich boy," Naruto muttered bitterly, thumping his head back against Moegi's headboard.

"Are you," Kushina began as she repositioned herself, "an idiot?"

"Mum!" Naruto cried, affronted and she scowled back at him.

"Did you ask why?" She pressed, "did you ask why he lied, or did you just flounce out?" She eyed him beadily and Naruto fiddled with the hem of his top sheepishly. "I thought so; you and your father are peas in the same cowardly pod," she snapped.

"Oi," Minato chimed in from somewhere in the background.

"You just slither out of a situation because you're so hot headed!" Kushina ranted.

" _Me_ hot headed!" Naruto heard his father splutter off-camera.

"I know why Sasuke lied," Kushina admitted and Naruto flushed.

"You knew!?"

"I knew, and if you keep raising your voice at me Naruto I will hang up this phone," she threatened, her eyes flashing. Once Naruto had calmed down she went on. "He went and found his mum and dad not long after the attack, you know, the one his brother neglected to find out about until it was too late?" She shot Naruto a meaningful look. "I think that's why he went looking for his mum and dad, because Itachi let him down, and he never really got answers from them. Anyway, yes, he told a fib to his parents but it wasn't out of malice towards you, Naruto, not everything is about you. I've known Fugaku Uchiha for much longer than you have, and I can tell you he's not a pleasant man with some very outdated ideas. For a young man who's just been stabbed by his friend for being gay, I'd be terrified of telling that man the truth as well." She held Naruto's gaze. "He just got stuck in a lie trying to please everyone, including you."

Naruto listened and then come the end, he groaned.

"So, I'm the one in the wrong?"

"No," Kushina smiled, "not by a long shot. It's never as black and white as that, is it?" She watched him. "So, what're you going to do?" She asked as she selected another shortbread from the tin.

Naruto paused for a short while, running his thumb over his bottom lip.

"I'm gonna have to call you back later." He finally sighed.

Naruto hung up on his mother, but he didn't lower his phone, instead he switched to an entirely different contact and pressed the phone to his ear. He counted as the phone rang seven times, was it going to ring out?

"Yo," Sasuke's voice sounded airy.

"Hey," Naruto replied, chewing his nail nervously.

"What's up?" Sasuke's voice sounded unnatural, stilted and vague.

"Not much, you alright, you sound weird?" Naruto frowned, turning his face to the side to stare out of the window.

"Fine, tired." Sasuke replied in a jarring voice.

"Okay – we need to talk, can I come over?" Naruto quizzed.

"Sure," Sasuke said in that same vapid tone, like he hadn't really heard Naruto.

"I'll be over in twenty."

* * *

When Naruto let himself into the maisonette, he felt strange. Even though he'd been using this key to walk through this door for a year now, the two weeks he'd been living at Konohamaru's had made that feel weird.

"Hey, Sasuke?" Naruto called.

He found him within seconds, sat on the edge of the sofa with his head in his hands, bent towards his knees as he took deep, steadying breaths.

"Sasuke?" He gave Sasuke's shoulder a little shake; the contact clearly startled him because he bolted upright.

There was something wrong with Sasuke's face, something out of place that Naruto couldn't quite decipher. It wasn't like the time he'd spiralled on MXE, this was an organic problem, something had gone wrong inside Sasuke.

"You alright mate?" Naruto peered into Sasuke's face, but he ducked away like Naruto's closeness was making his head spin.

"Yeah," Sasuke looked around like he was searching for something and then shook his head. "Why are you here?" He met Naruto's eyes looking painfully anxious and Naruto felt a growing sense of disquiet.

"I called you, I told you we needed to talk – you agreed." Naruto reminded him and there was a pause before Sasuke nodded slowly.

"What's up with you?" Naruto studied Sasuke's bleached face, noticing for the first time a sheet of clammy sweat clung to his forehead and the hollows of his temples.

"I um, I just feel ill," he explained with another disoriented look about the room.

"I can see that," Naruto gasped as Sasuke scratched like a twitchy animal behind his ear.

It was then that Naruto noticed something beneath the loose sleeve of Sasuke's new designer jumper. He could see, shaded as it was, a fragment of Sasuke's forearm; something was wrong though. If what Naruto was seeing was right, Sasuke's veins were sinuous and flushed, and an unpleasant necrotic looking rash had begun to spread on what look like craters chased out of his skin.

"Sasuke…"

"I don't feel well," Sasuke shook his head looking panicked, "I don't feel well," he repeated before staggering.

It was happening before Sasuke even had a chance to hit the floor, even when Naruto grabbed his wrist he could feel it happening. He felt the sharp twisting sensation, the unnatural restlessness of the muscles as the body convulsed…

 _Whatever that raw rash was on Sasuke's arm, it'd brought on a full-blown seizure, the first in two years…_

* * *

 _Ooooh, please review x_


	14. Chapter 14: Brain Chain

Hi Hi my lovely starry stars!

So, Chapter 13, woo! Like a million years late!

So as I said on my other story (Middle Men) for those that read it, basically I was spontaneously away, and then I was like, cool, back now can crack on. Then my little Elf (the fiance) was a bit ill :( which was a difficult one. Sorry to babble, just trying to explain why such a late update, if I even have any readers left now? Haha x

Anyway,

Hope you enjoy sweets!

So much love to you all for all the love you've sent me, I appreciate it x

* * *

Chapter 14

Brain Chain.

Riding a Helter-Skelter is generally exhilarating, a rushing trip. The world goes from around you, and the elements kiss your skin. However, the first moment that the world tilts and you take that initial cannonball spiral down, you feel only one thing; you fear for your life. No matter how irrational it is, thousands of people have done this drop before, but you look at all the ways you're going to die.

That was how Sasuke felt as he began to regain consciousness. Stuck in that loop of fast fear. Only he couldn't reach the point of relief.

His heart struggled against the panic as he tried to rationalise where he was, why he was there – to piece together a scenario…

There were subtle hints and giveaways the more clarity that returned to him. His puffy cheeks and gums, coupled with the ferrous taste of blood and the tang of midazolam at the back of his throat. Every bone in his body felt knotted with tight muscle, screaming with pain when he attempted to twitch them. Every part of him felt both shaken out, and like it had been concertinaed over and over.

Seizure. Sasuke recognised grimly. All signs pointed to a seizure.

However, a seizure didn't explain why his arms were itching as badly as though they'd been tickled by the fine hairs of rose haw. Nor did it tell him why he felt quite so cold.

Time to open your eyes. He told himself. Time to brave it.

* * *

Sasuke had been on a sea of hospital wards in his life, by now he even had a top ten. He didn't recognise this place though. He didn't know the place. The atmosphere. The smell. The sounds…

Then something else hit him; he could see everything straight in front of him, but nothing out the corners of his eyes – it was all black. It was like he was looking down the barrel of a telescope. Sasuke jerked his head like a cow trying to rid itself of a fly.

"Sasuke?" He knew that voice, he knew that was Naruto's voice, but in that moment, he didn't care because he was looking through a tunnel. "Sasuke, you're on the ICU…"

Sasuke brows shot together in a frown. The Intensive Care Unit? Why? That wasn't where they brought you after a seizure, you were just slung on one of the regular wards – wherever they had a free bed.

"Something's wrong," he tried to tell Naruto, but instead it came out as 'smith ring,' something was inhibiting his speech. He reached up with a trembling hand and groped at his face; a plastic mask was lashed over his nose and mouth. An oxygen-mask.

 _What had happened?_

He wrenched it down and turned to Naruto, gasping for air.

"Something's wrong, I can't see properly," he choked and Naruto looked taken aback.

"What?"

"I can't see! I can't fucking see properly!" People were turning away from their respective loved ones to stare at Sasuke, writhing beneath his covers, continuing to swear and spit about his loss of peripheral sight in a crazed pitch. Naruto watched Sasuke mania accelerate until he was actually kicking against the metal bars of his hospital cot in his panic, leaving them juddering and disrupting the peace of the ward.

With one last look at Sasuke, Naruto rose and smacked his palm over a button behind Sasuke's head. The reaction to his touch on the button was immediate; a repetitive chime began to sound coupled with a blinking red light.

Sasuke fixed Naruto with a questioning look, but he was colourless and small looking where he sat.

"I didn't know what to do."

* * *

By the time Sasuke was clear-headed enough to stomach a visit from the doctor, Naruto wasn't his only visitor. Jugo had breezed in before his exam – the exam Sasuke was going to miss – to see if he needed anything, and to assure him he'd be back that evening. A pleasant surprise had come in the form of Izumi, Mabui, Shisui, and rather disarmingly Ino, Kiba, and Ino's son.

"We thought," Ino explained as Inojin swung on Kiba's arm, "we could take him to the beach later. Sai's at work otherwise he would've come too." She explained with a smile so warm it made Sasuke's insides ache.

"Right," he nodded, horribly aware of how slurred his voice was coming out.

When everybody was far enough away that Sasuke could catch Izumi, he beckoned for her to lean close to him, feeling like an ailing elderly woman as he did so.

"Where's my brother, then?" He mumbled, gazing up at her and seeing only her – his vision still hadn't cleared.

Izumi straightened her back ever so slightly and pushed her shoulders back, like a bird puffing up proudly.

"I wouldn't let him come," she told him, sticking her chin out.

"Huh?" Sasuke rolled his head on the hospital pillow that still had that clinical tang clinging to its fibres.

"I didn't want him here; not in his state, not around you." She told Sasuke her eyes flashing, and he saw that the wilted Izumi he'd met with at Christmas was beginning to fade.

"What state, Iz? What exactly is going on with my brother?" Sasuke hissed and as his cold breath rushed over his bitten and bloodied tongue it stung so badly his eyes watered. "I deserve to know."

Izumi observed him, looking dubious as she ran her tongue over her front teeth behind her tip.

"Not now whilst you're…"

"There's always going to be an excuse, just tell me," Sasuke muttered wearily, "I honestly don't think I care anymore," he admitted.

Izumi fiddled with a loose lock of hair, come away from her expensive cut. She'd had her dark locks re-shaped and tamed finally, so that she didn't hold up a mirror to the Medusa quite so anymore. She'd also painted her mouth, with its heart shaped bow, a mocha colour that spread effortlessly across every crease and groove in the full flesh. She was recovering from his brother already.

"Your brother's always had this side to him; he's either all in, or not all. I used to really love him for it. He was so dedicated to doing what was right. So dedicated to doing right by you. So devoted to me. But then…" Izumi was twitching restively with her perfect manicure. "When we found out we couldn't have a baby, he picked up some unhealthy habits, but they were just that. Like, drinking a bit too much, or splashing a few too many hundreds down the casino, you know?" She met Sasuke's eyes. "I thought it was okay, because in a way we were both grieving. But, I guess he treated those habits just like he treats everything else in life _'all or nothing,'_ to the absolute extreme with Itachi," she muttered bitterly and then sighed. "He's an addict, gambling and alcohol. He's already sunk half of our shares in the corporation. I had to transfer them into the account that's locked for you until you're twenty-one – coupled with the shares in your name that you stand to inherit, and what's left of mine and Itachi's, you're sat on the lion share of the corporation, Sasuke." Izumi told him looking serious. "When you hit twenty-one, you'll be worth a fortune. It's up to you if you want to give that stock back to your brother, I won't judge the choice you make."

Sasuke gazed up at Izumi, wondering if it was his new weird vision, or the shock that was making her edges blur. Itachi was a gambling addict. Itachi was a drunk. Itachi had thrown have their company away on stands, hits, doubles, and splits. Sasuke now held all of their assets. As of next July, he could only imagine how wealthy he might be.

"Shit," Sasuke muttered, hitting the button to increase his oromorph, "that's…Intense…"

Izumi glanced away from him down the ward and he saw her eyelashes twitch ever so slightly.

"The doctor's coming, I'll stay with you," she gingerly squeezed his fingers as he tried to rearrange himself into a position more befitting for receiving company. He watched his friends and family politely take the hint to make themselves busy elsewhere whilst Sasuke spoke to the doctor.

Stood looking resolute, as though he could imagine nowhere else in the world where he should be, was Naruto. Sasuke eyed him, studying the curve of his spine through his t-shirt, and how Naruto was essentially all one line; his spine cascaded into the curve of the bow of his knee which he had up resting on Sasuke's bedframe, he was like one big sinuous 'S.' Sasuke wanted to feel reassured that he was there, to have known Naruto would return like a boomerang or surf bound talisman. He didn't feel any of that though. When he looked at Naruto, he only saw his face screwed up and angry, the way it had looked when he'd shouted and accused Sasuke of infidelity. He saw only the face of the person who'd torn the necklace from his throat and the promise of forever with it.

"Mr Uchiha?" Sasuke's attention diverted to the man clad in white at the foot of his bed. "Doctor Senju," the man pressed a hand to his chest and Sasuke remained soundless; he was in the ICU, they didn't expect chattiness. "I've got the results back from the tests we ran on the cultivated samples taken from the wounds on your arm." Sasuke's ears tingled, what did the wounds on his arms have to do with this? They'd been a bit itchy, but surely that was where they'd been healing? "The symptoms you exhibited both in the run up and post the seizures you experienced…" Seizures, plural? "we would expect to present themselves in sepsis." Doctor Senju explained and Sasuke heard Izumi make a funny gasping-choke beside him. "Sepsis occurs when our body tries to fight off an infection, in your case, you developed an infection in your arm." The Doctor gestured to his own arm, holding his clipboard beneath his armpit. "When sepsis happens, it can develop into septic shock, which is when it becomes far more dangerous." Doctor Senju's eyes lingered on Sasuke and Sasuke knew what he was going to say before the words even left his lips. "You went into septic shock, Sasuke, and as a result went into stage-3 end-organ dysfunction. You've been experiencing gastrointestinal bleeding." The Doctor paused and licked his lips. "You are a very, very lucky young man."

Sasuke gazed at the man, and he was on that Helter-Skelter again, figuring out all the ways he was about to die. Filled with that paralysing terror.

"Why me?" Sasuke asked in a barely audible voice, his lips feeling gluey where the flesh had split and re-wetted itself. "This isn't the sort of thing that just happens every day, is it? So, why…?" Sasuke stared desperately at Doctor Senju, who shifted his attention to his clipboard for the first time, almost like he didn't want to look at Sasuke.

"Those with a medical condition are among those at greater risk of developing complications like sepsis…"

"Like? So, there's more!? More I'm at risk of because of these stupid synapses?" Sasuke snapped and Doctor Senju cleared his throat, obviously trying to regain control of the conversation, and yet failing dismally.

"You'll need…"

"And why can't I see, how long's that going to last!?" Sasuke spluttered, interrupting him, and Izumi curled her hand around Sasuke's forearm to hold him down. Sasuke wasn't sure why, it wasn't as though he could fly at the Doctor and attack him, he was physically netted down by a web of IV's and wires nosing about at his pulse.

"As you're aware, dramatic changes in the body that bring on chemical imbalance often inspire seizures. You suffered two Sasuke, and both lasted more than five minutes." The Doctor met Sasuke's eyes, and Sasuke knew that this was what Doctor Senju had been dreading telling him. Why the white coat had walked so slowly up the ward. Why he was sweating now.

A seizure that lasted more than five minutes…Your brain misfiring for that long… _Catastrophe._

"So, Sasuke," and Sasuke knew what was coming from the change in tone, from the lowered brown, and the downward curve of the Doctor's lips. "You know what happens to the brain when you have a seizure don't you…?"

"It's brain damage, isn't it? I'm never going to see properly again, am I?"

"I'm sorry."

"I bet you are."

* * *

Sasuke was glad that all of his family had to leave at eight to find hotels to stay in; or in Kiba, Ino, and Inojin's case, Sasuke's house. Sasuke lay on his side in the darkening ICU ward, thumbing through the answers to the exam he'd sat that Jugo had dropped off. He'd got them all right. It didn't matter anymore though, he'd already missed his second, third, and fourth exam being comatose in a hospital cot for nine days. He'd fucked up.

When Sasuke got to the last page he found a vomit-inducing sketch of Jugo and the girl Jugo had made them sit behind all semester: Konan. Underneath the drawing, in miniscule writing because of all the hearts and flowers, Jugo had written: _'Get better and I'll ask her out!'_

Sasuke smiled and his knee jerk reaction was to reach for his phone and message Jugo, to call him out for being a twat. His hand twitched on the hospital blanket, and Sasuke saw the cannula fixed between his tendons, across from him was a woman hooked up to a machine who hadn't so much as twitched a toe since he arrived. He shouldn't text Jugo, and this was the reason. Soon, he wouldn't be part of Jugo's world anymore. Jugo was going to graduate successfully, and Sasuke would not; he was going to end up dragged back home. To live in that cold box, with his brother who with any luck might flog both of Sasuke's kidneys for some greyhound cash.

Sasuke closed his eyes and inhaled slowly, feeling his chest strain against all the wires taped to it. This was his fault. He'd brought this upon himself, and there was no denying it this time. If he hadn't started up all that skin picking, digging away at himself until his arms were angry with sticky blood – he'd have never contracted an infection, then he'd have never gone into septic shock, he'd never have had the seizures, and he'd still be able to see properly. A grisly chain of events with him at the very core.

In another world, he'd have gone running to Temari by now. He'd be on the phone to her grizzling and allowing her assurances to wash over him. However, him and Temari were no more. He'd tried to make contact with her, but it had all been to no avail. It seemed they really were done.

"You're doing a very good impression of a dead guy," Sasuke opened his eyes and blinked twice, still trying to adjust to his new tunnel vision. There stood Naruto, looking nervous in a different top and looser tracksuit bottoms. "Shame all of this gives you away," he laughed uneasily, gesturing towards all of the monitors showing Sasuke's heart rate and blood pressure.

Sasuke didn't speak to Naruto, he just stared at him feeling… _Angry._

"Sasuke, speak?" Naruto coaxed and Sasuke narrowed his eyes, hadn't Sasuke bought that Gomez Addams t-shirt for him? "Sasuke, I've been going out of my fucking mind, so please just speak?" Naruto whispered, his electric eyes sparkling even in the dim light of the ward.

"What, what do you want me to say?" Sasuke met Naruto's gaze, feeling frosty, wanting to hurt Naruto as he had hurt him.

"I just…"

"I don't owe you anything. _We're over, remember?"_

* * *

 _SOBS! Hope you enjoyed - again sorry for lateness, but yeah, reasons, so sorry, much love, please review lovelies x_


	15. Chapter 15: Speeches

Helloooo chappies!

Chapter 15! WOO sparkles!

Thank you for all your positive feedback and love! I appreciate it so much! :)

Much love!

Hope you enjoy! X

* * *

Chapter 15.

Speeches.

Sasuke let the wintry tension settle in. Relishing the membrane of resent that wrapped around him and hardened, forming a bitter rind on any sense of sympathy or empathy he had left.

"Sasuke…" Naruto whispered, looking slack jawed and dumbfounded.

Sasuke snatched the answer sheet Jugo had dropped off and flourished it pointedly in front of him, blocking Naruto from view in a highly petulant motion.

"Oh, come on, Sasuke," Naruto pulled the paper down and Sasuke went tense all over; but regretted it immediately. The second he allowed his body to seize up, every muscle he'd pulled during his seizures began to throb. His gut too felt raw and hollow, it felt like he'd been dugout with an ice cream scoop. That would be the response of the gastrointestinal bleeding.

"Come on Sasuke, what?" Sasuke snapped impatiently, pinning the paper to his aching stomach. "I mean, do you really want to do this now Naruto? We're in the ICU at night, I don't really wanna say anything so colourful that it shocks a patient into a premature death." Sasuke hissed, casting a wary glance around the slumbering ward – always sleeping, he was the only conscious patient there, and even that was only a recent development.

Naruto stared at him seemingly speechless for a moment, before he sighed heavily and scrubbed his brow with the side of his trembling hand.

"I don't know, Sasuke," he shook his head. "I don't know what you want me to say." He met Sasuke's eyes from beneath his long honey coloured fingers, his gaze imploring as he did so.

"Oh, so we are going to do this?" Sasuke observed briskly, pushing himself up ever so slightly on his elbows – feeling at a disadvantage lying flat on his back.

"Well, what do you want me to say? That I guess I'm sorry?" Naruto screwed his face up and glanced about as though hoping the right words would materialise in thin air.

" _You guess_!? YOU GUESS you're sorry!? What kind of joke is that?" Sasuke fumed, gaping at Naruto in furious astonishment.

"Yeah – I guess I'm sorry for the way I said what I said, but I'm not sorry for saying it," Naruto glowered and Sasuke made a furious little spluttering sound. "I'm not! What I said, you deserved it! You did lie to me!"

"Yeah, one lie, one fucking lie which I regret – I was being a pussy and it was one of the stupidest things I've ever done! But then you start hurling all these shitty accusations about cheating on you at me?" Sasuke snapped, trying to keep his voice down. "Just…Just how could you think that of me? How could you think so shittily of me?" Sasuke swallowed hard before training his gaze on Naruto.

"You didn't give me a reason not to, you told that omni-fuck of a lie, and it blew my mind…"

"I didn't give you a reason not to!? What kind of piss-water is that?" Sasuke choked, and then reminded himself to control his voice hurriedly. "I can think of a few reasons you ungrateful melt; what about all the shit you throw at me when you leave your deadlines until the last minute and need an emotional punching bag? What about when I agreed to marry you one day? What about this stinking great scar I'm stuck with on my shoulder because I'm with you? Surely they're all subtle hints that you can trust me!" Sasuke seethed in a whisper and Naruto looked contrite. "You should know me better; I shouldn't have to tell you everything, every time I breathe or everyone I see. You should know to trust me." Sasuke muttered, dropping his head back against his stack of pillows.

Naruto swayed from side to side, like he was dancing to a tune, although there was no music playing throughout the silent ward.

"And what about you?" He finally whispered sharply.

"Come again?" Sasuke blinked.

"You're lying there, tearing me a new one, acting like Paul the bloody Hermit, the purest martyr of them all. But you're forgetting all of the shit you've dragged me through, and I've never, never fucking strung you out like this!" Naruto hissed, his cornflower eyes flashing a darker shade, like sea-sunk-sapphires. "All that shit you gave me back in college, I took that didn't I? And let's not forget, we've been here before, haven't we? In hospital, remember when you went on that MXE bender? I didn't give you a fucking earful then, did I? And then the other month when I gave you that ring, your knee jerk reaction was to think I was going to break up with you – so don't give me that shit about knowing you better.

Now look, you're back in hospital, Sasuke. Why this time? Oh, because you haven't been taking your mood stabilisers so you've been doing this shit to yourself, and now look. But never mind, because you're Sasuke and you're so much cleverer than the rest of the world and you can have these messed up secrets, because nobody will understand – definitely not your boyfriend, oh no, you're Sasuke the Martyr, that should be your fucking title you know?

I'm not going to stand here and let you be a complete jerk off, Sasuke. I love you, and that's why I take all that shit, and I made one mistake and doubted that you felt the same. I'm sorry. So fucking hang me!" Naruto's rant was so impassioned, he was physically panting when it came to a close, his shoulders rising and falling like he'd just topped a marathon.

Sasuke didn't speak for a moment, he simply lay, basking in the thick ambience of Naruto's hot-blooded speech.

"Jesus," Sasuke finally said, "that was intense."

Naruto licked his lips and nodded, looking mildly stunned. "Yeah, just a bit." He conceded hoarsely.

"Fewf, look at that," Sasuke indicated the monitor that showed his heart rate, "my hearts racing, your speech nearly gave me a myocardial infarction." Sasuke looked from the monitor's screen to Naruto, and the ghost of a smile flitted over his lips. He reached down and pulled at Sasuke's hand, pressing Sasuke's fingers against the pulse point in his throat. "Wow, speedy," Sasuke commented, feeling Naruto's heartbeat racing beneath his slightly sweaty flesh.

"I didn't think it was fair that I could see yours and you couldn't see mine." Naruto shrugged and Sasuke nodded.

"I do feel a bit naked with all my functions on display. Your tirade isn't nearly as impressive now I can tell how nervous you were, you know?" Sasuke smirked coyly and Naruto gave a little snort as he sunk onto the edge of Sasuke's bed.

"I'd still give it a nine out of ten," Naruto shrugged, stretching his arm over Sasuke's hips with a roguish grin.

"I'd give it an eight point five, the extra five comes from the comedic value of your face post rant: kind of like someone just belted you in the crotch with an iron.

"Man, what's a ten?" Naruto cocked his head and Sasuke sighed.

"A ten is basically every time Dumbledore opens his mouth around Harry…Or the Choose Life speech from Trainspotting – both solid tens." Sasuke smiled and Naruto grinned.

"So, Martin Luther King…No?"

"Oh, well _obviously_ that's a boundless ten Naruto, but I'm talking speeches you listen to in your pants, you know?"

"You listen to…" Sasuke held a hand up to silence him, and they both lapsed into quiet for a moment.

"I'm a martyr, aren't I?" Sasuke finally said, and it wasn't really a question, more of an announcement.

"Yep," Naruto confirmed with good humour. "And I've been a dick, haven't I?" Sasuke dropped his gaze to Naruto, one side of his face in shadow, the other lit eerily by all of Sasuke's monitors.

"Yep," Sasuke echoed Naruto and they both grinned and then felt sombre once more.

"So…"

"So…"

"What do we do now?" Naruto looked up at Sasuke from beneath his corn silk lashes, held low over his intrepid eyes.

"We both messed up, didn't we?" Sasuke murmured, running the tube of his cannula lightly through his fingers.

"Yeah, we did." Naruto agreed and then went on, "I don't want to break up, not over this, not ever." Sasuke glanced up, meeting Naruto's eyes he shook his head.

"Nah, me either." He agreed quietly.

"Want your ring back?" Naruto quizzed and Sasuke let out a small exhale of a laugh.

"Sure." And it was so casual, so easy, he didn't understand why he'd ever let himself worry in the first place.

"I've got a CTA scan in the morning and an endoscopy – it's not much of a reconciliation date, but wanna stick around?" Sasuke offered with a crooked grin.

"Sure, I'll take it," Naruto tittered and Sasuke shuffled beneath the covers so that Naruto could slide further up the bed.

"I'm still nil by mouth, so you know, I can't take you out for a candlelit dinner in the hospital canteen or anything," Sasuke told him apologetically and Naruto shrugged.

"It's fine, I was gonna bring myself a Maccies anyway," he confessed and Sasuke made an affronted noise.

"You're going to eat fast food in front of me, whilst I'm being starved?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes and Naruto smirked, fitting his fingers between Sasuke's.

"Maybe I'm still a teeny tiny bit bitter about you being such a cock," he admitted.

"So, you're going to passive aggressively taunt me from my sick bed?" Sasuke muttered in disgust.

"Yeah, I reckon so," Naruto sighed blissfully, laying his head down beside Sasuke's, sinking the stack of pillows even further.

"I've thought of another one," Sasuke murmured, as they lay staring up – gazing at the ceiling not like they were seeing rows of dirty ceiling tiles, but constellations, like they weren't in a hospital but somewhere else entirely.

"Hmm?" Naruto squeezed Sasuke's hand, prompting him to go on.

"Another speech – a really good one," Sasuke whispered. "Mrs Wallace In Pulp Fiction, the one about finding somebody special…"

* * *

Sasuke had experienced MRI machines before, and he hadn't like them. They were deceptively noisy, which was intensely unpleasant given how claustrophobic they were. Claustrophobia wasn't really an issue anymore though, given Sasuke's new state of vision, he only saw in tunnels.

Sasuke liked the CTA scanner even less. It looked almost identical to the MRI machine, in fact, he felt a little like he was being tricked into riding that MRI rodeo again. However, at least when he'd had his MRI scan he'd known what the doctors were looking for; they'd been eyeing up his brain for any possible causes of epilepsy. This time, they were snapping images of his insides, ferreting about for signs of further damage to his organs.

It was times like these, that Sasuke theorised he just wasn't built to last. The rest of the world was built out of solid, sturdy stuff. He was built out of match sticks and bubble gum.

He made sure to make a fuss before the CTA scan; spending an inordinate amount of time loitering in the toilet. Then he took ten minutes to write his name on the consent form. He was hoping, if he dragged it out long enough he might miss his slot.

"Why are you time wasting?" Naruto purred, leaning over his shoulder just as Sasuke drew the tail on a very flowery U for Uchiha.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sasuke responded dismissively without looking up.

"Bullshit," Naruto sang, snatching the pen from his hand and scribbling the rest of his name.

"That's illegal! I'll have to start again now!" Sasuke spluttered.

"Oh, do me a favour, Sasuke," Naruto rolled his eyes, and then smiled at the CTA technician as he passed her Sasuke's consent form. "You scared?" He eyed Sasuke with one eyebrow quirked.

"Not scared, no, I just have a polite aversion to those things. Just like you with Robert Englund." Naruto gave a little shudder at the name.

" _Dude, don't._ Besides, Sasuke, I'll be stood right here and…"

"You do know one of these things caught fire once right, in some hospital?" Sasuke blurted out and Naruto blinked and then looked exasperated.

"Yeah, Sasuke, and somebody slept with Kiba, _once_ – flukes happen every fricking day!" Naruto shook his head. "But if it makes you feel better, I've got a whole Pepsi and a Fruit Shoot in my bag, if you go up in flames I swear I'll sacrifice one of them to put you out."

"You're not helping," Sasuke muttered, rising to his feet as the technician beckoned him.

Naruto caught Sasuke's hand quickly.

"I'll be right here, admiring your handsome toes the whole time, okay?" He gave Sasuke's fingers a little squeeze.

"Okay," Sasuke kissed him briefly, naturally as they always would, but he noticed as he did so that it was their first kiss since the breakup. Should there be fireworks? Stampeding stallions in his gut? Because, there weren't. He just like he'd been shunted back into rightness. Like he'd spent the past few days orbiting his real life, and finally he'd been dragged back down to firm ground. Naruto was like his gravity

* * *

.

When Sasuke made his way back up the ward to his cot, he felt incredibly grumpy and ready to slip back into another nine-day coma. For this reason, he was torn apart into a hurricane of bad temper, confusion, and dread, when he saw a slender figure waiting by his bed.

"You're not supposed to be here," Sasuke sighed, taking in Itachi's dishevelled state.

"I'm your brother," Itachi pointed out, looking hurt.

"Don't I know it," Sasuke muttered, placing a hand on his hip. His eyes strayed longingly to his bed, he just wanted to crawl beneath those blankets.

"Mr and Mrs Uzamaki were kind enough to give me a lift here," Itachi told Sasuke as though this would somehow swing Sasuke's favour.

Sasuke's gave a mirthful little snort.

"Wow, I bet Kushina loved that – she's your number one fan, Itachi," he met Itachi's eyes, watching as he floundered. "Izumi doesn't want you here."

"Izumi isn't anything to do with you." This was like a slap.

"I guess," Sasuke shrugged and then turned at the sound of footfall.

"Yo…Oh hey, Itachi," Naruto hesitated, hovering at Sasuke's shoulder.

"Hey, I'm just going to take Itachi to the canteen, he looks like he could do with a coffee…A very black and sugarless coffee." Sasuke added with narrowed eyes.

"But, Sasuke, you've got your edoscopy at four…"

"Yeah," Sasuke nodded, meeting Naruto's worried gaze, "I know." He turned to face Naruto. "I'll be back by then." He pulled Naruto into a farewell embrace, and whispered swiftly in his ear. _"Call Izumi."_

* * *

 _:O shenanigans! Hope you enjoyed! Please enjoy! x_


	16. Chapter 16: Battles

Hellooo Honey bees!

Chapter 16! YAY!

Hope you enjoy this one lovelies!

Thank you oodles for all the lovely feedback and the follows and faves! x

* * *

Chapter 16.

Battles.

Sasuke sat opposite his brother across the square, laminate topped table. There was something ever so sad about hospital canteens. It lingered in the way they were furnished, trying to emulate the avant-garde dining of high-street cafes. Walls that were more glass than mortar, overseeing an alfresco terrace where patients took drags on their cigarettes through their tracheostomy holes.

No amount of sweet neutral brows, or hanging baskets of lantana and fuchsias, could mask the truth beyond. The rich spice of coffee and chocolate cake couldn't gloss over the incense of clinell and rubber gloves. A hospital was for the sick, and there was no point pretending otherwise, no point throwing up a fancy dining area like some secluded corner of London – it was all a tasteless joke.

"Alright?" Sasuke finally broke the silence, watching as his brother moved the scum about on top of his coffee slowly with a wooden splint. Itachi nodded soundlessly and Sasuke pursed his lips, feeling impatient. Itachi had dragged him out here, whilst he longed for his bed, only to sit in front of him despondent and tight-lipped. "So, what is it?" Sasuke asked, unable to stand the silence any longer.

Itachi glanced up from his coffee, meeting Sasuke's eyes with a pair so similar, yet entirely dissimilar to his own.

"How are you?" Itachi quizzed and Sasuke blinked – although this was the most obvious question, it was the last thing he'd expected.

"I've been better."

"What've the doctors said?" Itachi followed up and Sasuke lowered his chin, resting it on his hand.

"The seizures I had lasted past the five-minute mark – both of them, so there was bound to be permanent damage." He felt Itachi go still, watching him intently, waiting for him to go on. "I've lost my peripheral vision." He confessed after a long while, holding back the piece of information for as long as he could.

Itachi's reaction was predictable to the point of eye rolling: 'how can they be sure it's permanent?' 'We'll get a second opinion,' 'I want the doctors name.' Sasuke couldn't blame Itachi, because these had all been his initial reactions. He hadn't wanted to accept that epilepsy had finally caught up to him either, had finally left a lasting scar.

"Itachi," Sasuke sighed, "it's done, okay? My peripheral sight, it's not coming back. It could've been a lot worse, I could've just not woken up so really just…Just take it as a blessing." Sasuke muttered lamely, not really believing his own words, hardly expecting Itachi to buy into them either.

"And the rest?" Itachi said after a moment, "they wouldn't just keep you here for sight, Sasuke." Itachi studied him closely.

Sasuke exhaled heavily, running his tongue over his bottom lip as he tried to carefully audit his own words in his head.

"I just had a touch of septic shock," he admitted vaguely, as though sepsis were no more lethal than the common cold.

"Septic shock?" Itachi hissed and Sasuke avoided his brothers eye, staring at the coffee machine belching steam behind the serving counter.

"Mmm, and a bit of internal bleeding; it's okay now though, probably, I think…I wouldn't be up otherwise would I?" Sasuke glanced back at a white faced Itachi.

"And Izumi knew all of this?" Itachi asked through gritted teeth, unwrapping the amaretto biscuit perched on the porcelain saucer his coffee cup balanced on.

"I guess," Sasuke shrugged; _of course Izumi knew._

"She had no right…" Itachi muttered, crushing the dainty biscuit between his fingers until it fell back onto the table in a fine, toffee coloured dust. "You're my brother…Nothing to do with her…She had no right."

Sasuke considered this for a moment, observing Itachi's tense knuckles. Nothing to do with him? But Sasuke hadn't spoken to Itachi in weeks before the Christmas holiday. He'd conversed solely with Izumi. If anything had happened to Sasuke, she'd have been the first to know, the first to respond. Did Itachi's relation really give him that much right…?

"She's your partner, Itachi," Sasuke reminded in a low voice and Itachi let out a sharp, humourless laugh.

"Yeah," he shook his head, his unctuous ponytail slithering over his shoulder. Sasuke waited for Itachi to say something else, but it didn't look like he would.

"Have you two split up?" He quizzed and Itachi grimaced.

"We didn't split up, we've just sort of…Fallen apart…She can't stand me and I…I don't think I like her much, either." Sasuke watched his brother carefully.

"Is that because she won't let you do what you want? Because she's not chill with you destroying her life as well as yours?" Sasuke rolled his head sideways on his hand and Itachi looked taken aback. "Sorry, it's just, she told me what's been happening at home." Sasuke admitted quietly.

"Did she?" Itachi looked cold.

Sasuke nodded and his gaze fell upon the mound of biscuit crumbs Itachi had sprinkled upon the table. Somebody would have to clean that up. Some poor porter. There was no way that would've crossed Itachi's mind though. No matter how much he rebuked it, he was still ingrained with their father's sense of elite entitlement. Such blind selfishness. So destructive…

"Whatever, man, I've gotta go, I've got an endoscopy today and I wanna sleep before that." Sasuke rose to his feet slowly. "Cheers for coming." He wasn't really thankful though. Whenever Itachi showed up, things only ever served to worsen.

"Sasuke," Itachi caught Sasuke's wrist as he made to stalk away. "Izumi, she's nothing to do with you. She isn't your sister, she isn't anything. There will be more Izumi's, just remember that."

"Yeah, I know."

* * *

Following his endoscopy, Sasuke sent Naruto home and awaited his results, feeling impatient as he watched the news on his phone. He had access to Temari's Netflix account still, but somehow watching the news felt like a link to the outside world.

He twisted in surprise when somebody tugged his headphones out. He feared he was about to come face to face with the elderly patient from bed nine who liked to hover over beds wordlessly. Instead he met a shock of tomcat ginger hair and a thunderous ripple of muscle.

"'Sup?" Jugo winked, hooking a seat with his ankle and drawing it closer to the bed.

"Hi," Sasuke replied as he wound his headphones around his phone. "You're here late."

"I've just come from the library," Jugo explained and Sasuke felt his heart sink. University. Exams. Exams that he'd missed. That he'd failed. "I found something out," Jugo went on, producing a tube of Pringles.

"Oh yeah?" Sasuke eyed him warily.

"If you'd died, our whole lecture would've automatically received firsts." Jugo told him seriously, and there was a pause before his face split into a wide grin.

"Shut up," Sasuke snorted, he hadn't wanted to laugh, he hadn't wanted to enjoy seeing Jugo. It reminded him of everything he that was going to miss.

"You could've taken one for the team," Jugo teased offering him a Pringle.

"I couldn't possibly let all that studying you've been doing go to waste – no thanks, I'm still nil by mouth. Who were you at the library with any way? You never go there on your own." Sasuke eyed him beadily and Jugo grinned sheepishly.

"Well," Jugo began, "obviously, after my best friend was rushed to hospital, I needed a shoulder to cry on…"

"I bet you did," Sasuke smirked sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"I was with Konan." He admitted. He'd obviously been bursting to tell Sasuke the second he'd left the library – possibly before.

"I thought you weren't going to ask her out until I was better?" Sasuke teased in mock offense.

"Well, you're awake, aren't you? Got a bit of colour in your cheeks?" Jugo gestured to Sasuke's face.

"That's just the internal bleeding," Sasuke pinched his own cheek and then grinned.

"Anyway, speaking of relationships…"

"You and Konan aren't a relationship, you've just been pandering after her for the past three years, but yeah whatever, go on," Sasuke sniggered and Jugo shot him a look.

"On a serious note," Jugo adjusted his tone to sound purposeful and brotherly. "I saw Naruto leaving through the carpark, what's he doing back on the scene?" Jugo eyes Sasuke, his gaze assessing.

"Oh, did you?" Sasuke replied innocently.

He diverted his gaze to Mrs-Car-Accident in the bed opposite him; he didn't know all of their names, just the tragedies and ailments that afflicted them. She had awoken once since being brought in, when her son had visited looking nearly as sick as the actual patients.

"Yeah, that was a coincidence him being here, wasn't it?" Jugo probed.

"One hell of a coincidence," Sasuke danced around the subject.

"Sasuke?" Jugo prompted in a flat tone.

"Yes, fine, we got back together." Sasuke sighed impatiently and turned to Jugo who groaned with exasperation. "But…But, you weren't here."

"No, I wasn't." Jugo shook his head, his eyes boring into Sasuke, "otherwise I might've knocked some sense into that starved brain of yours – hospital bed or not." Jugo cast Sasuke a look of deepest disappointment.

"You don't understand," Sasuke muttered, waving a hand dismissively.

"I understand that he clicks his fingers you come running." Jugo pointed out cuttingly and Sasuke scowled.

"That isn't how it is at all."

"That's how it looks." Jugo retorted. "He leaves you, accuses you of all sorts and then in one night, bam, back together." Jugo clicked his fingers in thin air for effect.

Sasuke dropped his head back and took a deep breath.

"When I said you weren't there, I mean you weren't there _before_ , back when we were in college. Loads of shit went on then that still stands now…"

"Like leverage?"

"No, not like leverage. It's just something I should've reflected on, shit that I took for granted that's all." Sasuke confessed with a small shrug and Jugo screwed his face up. "You've just gotta learn to pick your battles man." Sasuke told him, and even though Jugo gaped at him like he'd completely lost the thread of reason, Sasuke knew exactly what he meant.

Pick your battles meant that you had to know when to draw the line, when it was time to let go, and whether the person was worth more than the fight. In the part of him that was untamed and juvenile, the one that lacked any sense of rationality or reason; Sasuke wanted to continue sulking at Naruto, wanted to mope, swear, and hold a grudge against him for weeks. Where was the sense in that though? He wouldn't feel any better, and neither would Naruto. This was the grownup world, and that wasn't how adults teased out their problems.

In this the grownup world, resolutions come from conversation, not drawn out woe. If the inevitable had been that he and Naruto would reunite, then why dance around it? You had to hear each other out, and more often than not, you'd be opened up to parts of yourself you really didn't like. Sometimes, it was just as hard to accept your mistakes and to apologise for them. What would be harder though, would be losing the love of your life for the sake of resent and wounded pride. That's when you have to realise what's more important: the fight, or the person.

 _And then you move on._

"Heard any more about Diedara?" Sasuke quizzed, pointedly changing the subject.

"Oh, that…" And Jugo was off, his mind wiped of Naruto.

Sasuke sunk down and listened to Jugo reel off all the latest news about Diedara.

"You could've given me a heads up about your friends staying at our place, by the way," Jugo raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, shit yeah," Sasuke blinked sleepily, he'd been dozing off to the sound of Jugo's voice. "Have they been alright?"

"Yeah, they were – after I clouted the bloke with the iron because I thought he was a burglar, his dog gave me a nasty bite for that one." Jugo chuckled.

"Akamaru, yeah, he'll do that," Sasuke nodded.

"They had a whole family meeting in the living room, it was very embarrassing. It's times like that I wish we bought a duster and hoover bags instead of a swing ball." Jugo sighed.

"I have zero regrets. Why were they having a family meeting?"

"Your brother's bird stormed up the uni – proper fucking terrifying – demanding you be allowed to re-sit your exams in the summer." Jugo explained and Sasuke was alert suddenly.

"And?"

"And what? You're re-sitting in the summer," Jugo looked confused, "what did you think was going to happen?"

"I thought…" Sasuke let out a long shuddering breath.

"Dude!" Jugo let out a spluttering laugh. "For real? Did you think they'd just turf you out? You're a first-class student."

So, Sasuke still had his place at university, he still might graduate, and it was all thanks to Izumi…Izumi who Itachi claimed had nothing to do with Sasuke.

* * *

Sasuke's mood was on the up, particularly when he was allowed to eat again. He sat in the middle of his hospital bed with Inojin, who was modelling all of the seashells he had collected on the beach for him. All the while he was piling in as many crisps as he could.

Over the top of Inojin's burbling description of a hermit crabs shell, and how it had once homed a creature, Ino and Kiba's conversation drifted over to him.

"You were lucky not to do time," Ino was telling him waspishly, her pearly clutch bag clasped tightly on her lap as she glowered at him.

"It's a joke."

"It's not a joke, Kiba, skunk is illegal, end of." She was hissing away and Sasuke frowned at them. "He got charged for possession a couple of days before we came down here." She jerked her thumb towards Kiba.

"Yeah, well, it's hardly crime of the century." He muttered.

"It's still a crime though."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't have got caught if I didn't have to be so out in the open these days. Business is such a joke now with Kankuro on the scene." Sasuke zoned in on Kankuro's name.

"What?" Sasuke asked sharply.

"Oh yeah, you don't know," A small smirk spread over both Ino and Kiba's faces.

"Kankuro's dealing these days, he's all over Kiba's manors…It's like Game of The Sketchy Southerners, at home at the moment." Ino chortled, passing Inojin a Capri Sun.

"Why?" Sasuke quizzed.

"He couldn't afford to get back to France…And his daddy heard what he did to you, thought it was dead bad for business, a proper political stain on the company, and kicked him out." Kiba's eyes twinkled.

"How'd he find out? I never contacted the police." Sasuke was perplexed.

"Well, us mum's down the pre-school talk…Things get around," Ino grinned.

"So, now Kankuro's fucked. I mean, at my business's expense, but still, it's good for you and I'm pleased." Kiba winked, accepting a seashell from Inojin.

"Hey, Sasuke?" Naruto was traipsing slowly up the ward, with Sasuke's phone held out in front of him.

"Oh, you reset it then?" Sasuke held out his hand to take the iPhone, but Naruto stayed frowning down at the screen.

"When was the last time you checked your Facebook?" He queried, glancing slowly upwards at Sasuke.

"I've been avoiding it…You know, the second you end up in hospital you get all the 'recover soon my beloved angel,' crap from people you met once at freshers." Sasuke laughed, but Naruto did not laugh.

"Check it." He shoved the phone towards Sasuke, and Sasuke felt a stab of worry peak in his gut. Naruto didn't look normal, he looked strange and remote.

Taking the phone Sasuke looked down at its screen. It was open on a conversation with Temari. He was alarmed to find not one, not two, but fifty-six, missed messenger calls from her.

Then there was a single message.

Just one.

 _Temari: Shikamaru K.I.A. Coming home. Please be there._

* * *

 _Hope you enjoyed sugars, please review x_


	17. Chapter 17: Acronyms

Helloooo you lovely stars!

Chapter 17! Woo!

Sad chapter, very sad chapter, boohoo :'(

Thank you for all you lovely reviews, faves and follows x

please enjoy x

* * *

Chapter 17.

Acronyms.

Lol. Omg. Rofl. OOTD. Ftw. Ttyl. We're a generation that communicates in acronyms. Such is our millennial binge on cyber-slang that we're steadily rendering our old tongue obsolete.

Neologism isn't something that we the young generation created though; acronyms have been circulating for years. The difference is, the acronyms of the past came with their complexities, not cellular based ease.

Take for example: BP, ADHD, DNA, APC, AWOL. A blend of acronyms taken from medicine and military professionalism. Every acronym has a single similarity though; what is it that directly links DNA and LOL? Abbreviation for the sake of human convenience.

The we arrive at K.I.A. And there are some things we have to question, should they ever have been shortened in the first place? Shouldn't we respect the sentiment behind the words and tend those extra few seconds spelling out every word.

K.I.A. _Killed In Action._

Had Sasuke ever been to a funeral before? He must've done, his grandparents were dead after all. He had been too small to remember though. Too young to appreciate where an adult should stand, how they should arrange their face, what it was that he should expect…

Would Shikamaru have liked to be cremated? Sasuke wondered as he gazed ahead to the front of the crematorium chapel. Would that have been his choice? To be burnt? He supposed Shikamaru's choice would've been not to die at all, what happened to him afterwards didn't really matter.

Sasuke shot a furtive look down the row of pews he sat in, three rows back from the front. All of his old friends sat there, completely wiped of their identity in black suits, and dark knee length skirts. Inojin sat on Sai's lap, cuddling him by the lapels of his blazer, whilst Sai clasped Ino's hand so tightly his knuckles looked blotchy. To Sasuke's left Sakura was trying to quell little snuffling sobs, he didn't know why she was bothering to quieten herself – the rest of the chapels company was openly weeping.

There was a consistency though, on all of their faces, Naruto, Kiba, Shino, Choji, and Kankuro, stiff, pale, and upright. Sasuke was sure they all felt the same as he did. Unable to believe that Shikamaru could be dead. Not just because he had been their best friend, but because he had only been twenty, and if he could die, then that meant they could too – the rules had changed. It was beginning to sink in, the reality of their young lives that they'd been charging through like they were indestructible. This wasn't a free trial, these years weren't disposable; this was it, this was their life.

 _What were they doing with it?_

Sasuke glanced away from his friends and looked forwards, to the front-most pew. There sat Shikaku and Yoshina Nara and Temari, the second Mrs Nara. Sasuke felt a swell of pride when he saw how upright she sat, her shoulders set and head back where she held it high beneath her black cloche. He wished he could see her face, so he could…What? Smile?

The rest of the chapel was filled out with men and women in uniform, they must've been from Shikamaru's platoon. Sasuke admired how they still wept, how after all this time and all the friends they must've lost, they still weren't desensitised. Part of Sasuke hated them too. He loathed that it hadn't been one of them choking on hot sand, dying under the watch of some indoctrinated lad acting in the name of terror.

He was surprised when his eyes stung abruptly, and looked down at his knees, he hadn't even noticed that he'd wound his fingers into the canvas of his suit trousers. He relinquished his grip and held his breath, blinking rapidly. He saw Choji lower his head into his hands, and as Kiba and Kankuro roped their arms around his back, Kankuro locked eyes with Sasuke. There was a pause and Sasuke pondered how Kankuro could possibly make all of this any worse? Would he flip Sasuke off or start mouthing vile appellations at him down the row of bodies. To Sasuke's not-so-surprise though, that wasn't what happened at all; Kankuro shot Sasuke a small, sad, almost apologetic smile before hurriedly diverting his attention.

It was sort of sad, Sasuke thought, that it had taken the death of Kankuro's brother-in-law and the complete degradation of his life, for him to bring himself to smile at Sasuke.

The priest finished his droning recital of the 23rd Psalm Funeral Prayer. The sound of which made Sasuke's insides feel like led. He didn't think Shikamaru had even believed in God. All of these dusty tapestries fixed to the walls, stitched with copper crosses and 'our father.' It didn't mean anything. These were just the tokens for the mourners – like tinsel at Christmas, or balloons on a birthday. Fallacies, his best friend deserved so much more than these stupid, run of the mill gestures.

"And now," the priest cleared his throat and looked at them all for the first time, his eyes owlish as though he was shocked to find that he still had an audience. He was lucky, Sasuke thought, he wasn't a particularly stimulating listen. "Shikamaru's wife, Temari has chosen a piece of music to share in honour of her late husband." Sasuke's head jerked up at this, and his friends began to share looks with wary smiles – obviously this was news to them too. "This is Blue Swede, Hooked on a Feeling."

Sasuke's jaw dropped, surely not, surely Temari wouldn't…But then the beat kicked in. Suddenly, Sasuke was laughing, laughing so hard that he had to screw his eyes up against the tears. He could feel every single one of his friends doing the same, hooting with delirious relief. He could feel the waves of grief pouring off them and meeting, and they were all one again, in desperate pain behind the laughter – but safe in that one blissful moment of unity.

Sasuke squinted through his watering eyes, his cheeks aching with the strain of grinning so much. He saw Temari swivel in her seat and her eyes found his.

 _Fair play. Temari. Fair play…_

* * *

Outside the crematorium, Sasuke and his friends stood obvious and isolated yards apart from one another, yet they had never been so tightly linked. Sasuke stood on the curving bank of grass bordering the building, staring down at the cluster of daisies that had evaded the wrath of the lawnmower.

"Sasuke?" He looked up at his name and met eyes far greener than the grass he stood on.

"Temari?" He murmured, studying her face closely, but she gave nothing away.

She took a few swift steps towards him and then…Her arms were around his neck, bumping his collar bone before he knew it. He didn't have to think, it was instinct, he put his arms around her in returned and squeezed.

"I'm so sorry, Temari, I'm so sorry for Shikamaru," he whispered into her hair.

"I don't know what to do – what do I do?" She choked against his neck. "What do I do now?"

"I don't know, I'm sorry," Sasuke admitted softly, running his hand gently over her hair. "I really don't know."

"Sasuke, there's something else I have to tell you – I can only trust you," she whispered in his ear in a shaking voice.

"What is it?" He felt her chest rise as she took that one breath on which the words to tell him rose, but then she was interrupted.

"Tem," Sasuke saw Gaara approaching them over the grassy bank. "You have to come, Shikamaru's Sargent's here." Sasuke felt Temari deflate and shrink in his arms. "Hey, Sasuke," Gaara gave him a fleeting and rather awkward smile. Sasuke didn't blame him, the last time he'd seen the seventeen-year-old, he'd been dragging him free of Orochimaru's addict den. Gaara looked a lot cleaner these days though – when he wasn't wearing the oil stained overalls from his mechanics apprenticeship.

"Hi," Sasuke nodded curtly as he dropped his hands from around Temari. "I was just talking to your sister."

"I know, but this guys a Sargent, and he's pretty intense," Gaara confessed apologetically.

"I'll see you down the bank later," Sasuke murmured, giving the top of Temari's head a little scruff.

As he watched Temari walk away, Gaara spoke.

"I never actually thanked you for what you did for me, Sasuke." Sasuke turned to Gaara who looked abruptly embarrassed. "I just figure I owe you one." He shrugged, not filling out his suit properly.

"Wanna know how you can pay me back?" Sasuke looked past Gaara to Temari, who was pulling her black cloche back on over her wild crown of prickly locks. "Look after your sister."

Sasuke sat in a semicircle on the embankment with his friends. They were all still wearing their funeral outfits as night fell over them and the constellations began to rope together. Sasuke twirled the neck of his Becks between his fingers idly, watching as the swans and their signets climbed up onto the opposite embankment and bedded down for the night.

"Inojin, don't go to close to the edge!" Ino warned her son, her tongue still glued to the side of a toffee apple, the knees of her black tights caked in clay.

"Do you remember all the time we spent down here when we were teenagers – like right here," Sakura pointed to the ground they sat on.

"Yeah, this mud must be permanently imbued with Ino's Lambrini chunder," Shino snickered from over his own ale, his Dicky bow loosened about his throat making him look rumpled.

"Please, it was you boys who used to piss carte blanche down here," Ino snorted, taking the lit cigarette from Sai's mouth.

"I thought you quit when you got pregnant?" Choji smirked at her, offering Sai a replacement.

"And I thought nappies were cheap; we all fuck up once in a while don't we?" Ino sighed, closing her eyes as she took a drag on the silk cut.

Sasuke felt something cold touch the back of his wrist and he leant back to meet Temari's evergreen eyes.

"Hey ho," he smiled up at her and she smiled back faintly.

She was braiding strands of long grass in her lap, staining the pads of her fingers a leafy green.

"This is nice," she whispered, indicating everybody. "This is how…How he would've wanted to do it." She swallowed hard, her voice sticking slightly.

"Yeah, I think so too. So, what was it you wanted to tell me?" Sasuke tilted his head and her face changed, she didn't look sad anymore, she looked alert and panicked; like a small wild animal under the shadow of a hawk.

"The thing is Sasuke, I don't know what to do." She breathed, staring fixedly down at her knees which looked cold through her tights.

"I know, but you'll figure it out."

"It's not just me," she said sounding like she might vomit.

"I know, you've got all of us and…"

"That's not what I meant," she interrupted him quickly.

"I don't get it," Sasuke shook his head, at a loss, "you're gonna have to help me out." He prompted and Temari closed her eyes, her lips moving as she whispered softly to herself.

"The thing is," she began, "Just before Shikamaru you know, died," she made a sharp noise, like a wince, as though the words were painful to say. "I found out…The thing is…I found out that I'm…Well, I'm six weeks pregnant." She threw a cursory glance around their friends to check that nobody had overheard.

"You're what!?" Sasuke gasped gaping at Temari.

"And now I don't know what to do. I haven't got any income, I don't even know if I've got anywhere to live anymore…And, I definitely don't have him." Temari finished shortly and Sasuke felt his heart squeeze. Sasuke watched her turn to look at Ino, Sai, and Inojin, at how _together_ the three of them seemed. Temari must have felt cold watching them, cold and lonely.

"I've got no idea what to do…" She whispered...

* * *

"I know I said I never wanted to come back here again, but it's kinda nice to be home," Naruto yawned, stretching his arms above his head before flopping backwards onto his bed.

"Huh," Sasuke was still distracted by Temari.

"I said it's nice to be home," Naruto raised himself to catch a better view of Sasuke. "You alright?" He held his hand out and Sasuke nodded slowly, meeting Naruto's fingers.

"Yeah…Yeah, just…" He eyed his and Naruto's entwined fingers, Naruto's hold like soft amber and Sasuke's like a swan's back. "It's shit, you know?" Sasuke shrugged finally and Naruto nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I know."

"And I kinda feel like seeing Temari like that, just robbed of all that time with the guy she loved… _Loves_. It's just like, the worst fucking thing, you know?" Sasuke couldn't think how to aptly phrase everything he was thinking. He couldn't word the enormity of the injustice that was Shikamaru's death. "I just don't think we should be dying, that's all, not yet." Sasuke sniffed and fell down beside Naruto heavily. He smelt like rum spiced with cloves, and cigarettes, but he also held his usual heady scent that made Sasuke feel so at home.

Sasuke's home was wherever that smell was.

* * *

Sad times :( please review x


End file.
